


Completionverse

by Harukami



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-19
Updated: 2007-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:10:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukami/pseuds/Harukami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of smutty and sweet stories around an OT6 of Sora, Kairi, Riku, Axel, Roxas, and Namine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  


Right, so. [](http://mackzazzle.livejournal.com/profile)[**mackzazzle**](http://mackzazzle.livejournal.com/) has five essays due practically all next week and needed motivation. So. I offered fic? And then. This ... ... yeah I've never written something this long this quickly.

Ah ha ha. Pardon any tense switches, though I think I at least caught all the typos. XD

 **Completion**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
...OT5+1, if you know that. XD Um. So/Kai, So/Ri, faint Ri/Kai, some Namine and Roxas thrown in there, annnnnd Roxas/Axel.  
End of game spoilers, not safe for work

"The thing I don't get," Sora tells Riku after he's come back from going to see the movies with Kairi, "is why everything feels unresolved."

Riku had been staring out over the sea again. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Sora hesitates, then gestures. "Like, everything should feel more complete, right? Complete's a bad term," he says abruptly. "No, it's complete. I just mean -- finished. We defeated the Organization, I opened the Door to Light, I've found both you and Kairi, I melded with Roxas, we came home, and then I found out I have a girlfriend. Have had for like a year, apparently." He gestures to the secret place.

"Yeah," Riku says. "When you say it like that, it almost sounds like you weren't lazy."

Sora scowls at him. "I'm not lazy! Jeez."

"You've not changed _that_ much--"

"But what I'm _saying_ ," Sora interrupts with, "is it's all over, right? So why does it feel like I'm still waiting for an ending?"

"This isn't a story, idiot," Riku says. "Nothing's ever finished."

***

"But are you happy," Sora asks Roxas one of the times they communicate. It's not always easy for Sora to hear him. Not always easy for Sora to listen.

Roxas takes a long moment to consider this. The breeze stirs his hair, and he lifts Sora's hand, pokes the campfire. The night sky is huge so that their world is something tiny in a sea of darkness filled with stars.

"I'm complete," Roxas says.

"But _are you happy_? Didn't you want things for yourself too?"

"I'm complete," Roxas says, as if Sora is a little stupid.

***

Sora's never been stupid, but sometimes he's been unobservant. Lately he sees Riku watching him when they're doing stuff together. It makes him realize that Riku's always been watching him. When they run, he'd be staring straight ahead, but out of the corner of his eye he'd have caught sight at Riku.

It's only a year or so later now, but when he'd dismissed it then he realizes now that Riku'd be running watching him.

It's a bit weird and he doesn't quite understand it. If it were all after, he'd know what it was about -- They'd both lost each other, and Riku had intended to stay lost, and just watch Sora from afar. He'd built a habit out of watching, right?

But the fact that it's an older habit, he doesn't know what to make of that.

***

They cook marshmallows, the five of them in three bodies. Kairi had found out that Naminé had never had marshmallows before, which had led to Sora poking at Roxas until he found out that Roxas never had.

It was pretty unfair, they'd decided, and gone to make them. Riku had laughed at them -- "Don't be stupid, you guys; what would they want with marshmallows" -- but:

"You're the stupid one," Sora had said,

and

"Maybe I'm a little selfish," Kairi had said, "but I don't think it's good to just have what you need to exist on. Isn't it nice to have the little things that make you happy too?"

So they end up out here sitting on logs and cooking marshmallows in the circle of light and heat.

"It's nice like this," Kairi says. "When we're together. All three of us."

"More than that," Riku says, a bit archly.

"That's not what I mean," Kairi says. "Even if there were twenty people here, I'd say that too."

"Yeah," Riku says. "I guess so. Pity we can't do _everything_ together now, though."

 _Careful_ Roxas tells Sora. _Your marshmallow's on fire._ He lifts Sora's hands for him, brings the marshmallow close, and waits too long before blowing it out. It's black, by then, but the inside is soft.

***

He goes to Kairi about it eventually. They're curled together and she's warm and comfortable in his arms.

"Hey, Kairi? Can I ask you a weird question?"

"All your questions are weird, Sora."

He grumbles. "Kairi..."

"Go ahead, go ahead..."

"It's about Riku," Sora says. "He's always _watching_ me..."

"I know."

"You know? I hadn't just imagined it?"

Kairi shakes her head. "He always has," Kairi says. "Since I arrived on the islands. Probably earlier."

"But that was forever ago!" Sora protests, taken aback.

"I know," Kairi agrees. "It's -- I really like Riku," she says, and it sounds like a confession. "But it scared me."

"Why?" Sora asks.

"Because..." She sighs. "Do you remember the time I told you to run away with just me?"

Sora nods. "You said you were joking."

"I lie sometimes," she says. "I always remembered Radiant Garden. I wasn't joking. ...things like that."

"Kairi," Sora says. His brows have drawn down and he looks uncertain. "Why?"

"I thought he was going to take you away from me," Kairi says. "And I wanted -- but I also wanted to go the three of us, and I felt bad even thinking it, so ... I said I was joking, and..."

Sora frowns. "Why would he take me away from you? Kairi, that's silly. He and I are friends, but he really loves you."

Kairi gives him a weird smile. "No," she says. "That's not it at all."

***

Later, it's him and Roxas in bed. This moment before sleep, consciousness slipping slowly off, is when they're the closest. He can't get the words out of his mind, can't seem to turn them in any angle where they make sense. Even if they're from Kairi, they're bizarre.

"Were you ever in love?" Sora asks.

"No," Roxas says. "Where's that from?"

"Ah, it's just," Sora mutters and feels a bit weird. He presses closer to Roxas, and that should feel weird too, because he's never really slept wrapped around another guy, but it's Roxas, and they fit together so perfectly. It's not like they're different bodies, really. "It's just that I was... wondering."

Roxas shakes his head. The soft spikes of blond hair brush Sora's forehead. "I've never felt anything like that," he says. And then he adds, abruptly, "I had someone in love with me, though."

"Really? Who?"

"You have to ask?"

Sora considers. He tilts his head this way and that on the pillow. "I don't really know any girls in the Organization or anything. Oh! Was it Olette?"

Roxas makes a little noise, half huff, half laugh. "It wasn't a girl."

"What?"

"...Yeah."

"Oh," Sora says. And then, "Ooooh. Wow. Um. That Axel, then?"

"Yeah," Roxas says. "Axel was in love with me." He pronounces the word strangely -- really pronouncing it, like it's his first time sounding them out.

Sora wrinkles his nose. "That just makes me feel weird! He told me I made him feel the same way."

"Maybe you did."

"That's _weird_ , though."

"Is it bad?"

Sora says, "I don't even know him."

"You don't have to do anything for someone to be in love with you," Roxas says. "Sometimes they just are."

"Do you think he was in love with me?" Sora asks, anxiously.

Roxas is silent a long moment. And then he says, "I hope not."

"Why?"

"Because I liked him being in love with me."

Sora stares at him. "I thought you weren't in love with him?"

"I wasn't," Roxas says. "I don't think." He sounds troubled. "But it felt good, to have someone feeling that way about me. Constantly. Sometimes I think he'd have done anything except betray the Organization."

"He did betray the Organization though," Sora says. "He said it was for you."

"I know," Roxas says. "...I was wrong, in what I thought."

"Now I feel weird," Sora complains.

Roxas is silent another few minutes. "But how would I know?" he asks, finally.

"Huh?"

"If I was in love."

"I think you just know," Sora says. "Don't you?" He can't remember ever deciding what his friendship for Kairi was, what it had become, just that he liked the development when it happened. They'd always been friends. Everything more than that just seemed to have fit when he'd thought about it enough.

"Do you?"

"I don't know," Sora says, finally.

***

"Hey, Riku," Sora says. It's a brilliant day out, the sun high in a bright blue sky. He's already been swimming and he's dripping wet. "Did you know, Roxas thinks maybe Axel was in love with me."

"Is that so," Riku asks. He's watching Sora from the shade of the paopu tree, munching by himself on one of the fruits.

Sora nods. "Isn't that weird?"

"Mm," Riku says. He finishes the fruit, then tosses the pit into the water, throwing it far. "I don't like it."

"Why not? Because it's weird?"

"Something like that," he says, and dives into the water, and swims for shore.

Sora stares after him. "Weird," he mutters, and follows suit.

***

As Sora is falling asleep, Roxas comes out with, "What if I do?"

"Huh?" Sora asks. He's sleepy, he doesn't really want to talk. "Do what?"

"Love him."

It takes Sora a while to remember last night. "What, Axel? You'd know, right?"

"Maybe I did. Maybe I do," Roxas says. "I've never thought about it."

"He loved you, and you never thought about it?"

"Why would I?" Roxas asks, helplessly. He twines his fingers with Sora. "What'll I do?"

Sora shrugs. "I dunno... he's dead, right?"

"We promised. I promised him we'd meet again in the next life," Roxas says. His voice is still low and quiet but it's picked up a desperate edge. "But he's dead and he isn't coming back, he said he doesn't think he's got a next life. And I don't even have a life any more. Just yours. What'll I do? How will I even know if that's how I feel, if I don't see him again? Maybe I don't. It might be nothing. It's usually nothing, with me. What should I do?"

Sora puts a hand over his chest. He thinks he can feel his heart in there. "I dunno," he says. This is all too much for him, dead boys in love and he's tired, and he wants to sleep. "Just live with it?"

Roxas goes silent.

"Well," he says. "I'm used to that."

***

He doesn't really feel bad about it later, though, until he sees Riku watching him again while the three of them are out playing.

"Kairi," he says later. "Do you ever have weird talks with Naminé?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean about... relationship stuff."

Kairi blinks at him. "Well, yeah," she said. "I mean, we share a body, it's only polite."

"Oh," Sora says. He blushes when he thinks about that. Now he feels _really_ weird.

"Were you talking about something with Roxas?"

"He thinks he might have been in love with Axel," Sora says. "But he's not sure. But he knows Axel was in love with him."

"At least he noticed," Kairi muttered.

"Huh?"

Kairi shakes her head. "Nothing. So..."

"Oh yeah," Sora says, reminded. "I was supposed to tell you that Axel says he's sorry."

"--What?"

Sora rubs the back of his head. "Yeah, for kidnapping you. He says he did it because he wanted to see Roxas again? He knew that taking you would lure me in, so--"

Kairi's face crumples for a moment. "Oh, Sora," she says.

"What?"

"And then he died."

"Yeah..."

Kairi says, "I hate that. If he loved Roxas so much, why did he have to die? Naminé and Roxas got to live, why did so many Nobodies--"

"Well," Sora says, "it's not like he had someone to go home to."

"You freed a lot of hearts," Kairi says. "Maybe his is out there. We can--"

"How could we tell?" Sora asks.

Her face falls again.

"Besides," Sora says. "Where would he go? He's dead. You can't just bring the dead back."

"You did. When you restored the worlds."

"Axel isn't even someone like that," Sora says. "is he?"

"No," Kairi admits, slowly, with the face she has on when she's listening to Naminé. "Even if his other was restored, incomplete, the person who was Axel would be dead..."

"Yeah, so I told him to cope."

Kairi stares at him.

And then she says, deliberately mean, "You know Riku's in love with you, right?"

"What?" Sora stares at her. "Kairi! That's not--"

"You can't just cope," she says, slow and deliberate. "When you know something like that. Don't be so mean in your heart, Sora. It's the only one Roxas has."

***

He doesn't know what to say when he sees Riku again. Doesn't even know what to think, except _Riku's in love with me_. He doesn't know how long it's been, he doesn't know anything except that it's crazy, that if Riku's been watching him this long and it means that he _loves_ him then why did he chase Kairi down and spend all his time accusing Sora of not doing enough for her?

It doesn't make sense. Unless it was a way of saying something else, but--

"Kairi says you're in love with me," he blurts out.

Riku pauses in the middle of a swing. He's practising with Way to the Dawn against the air. When he turns, it's slowly.

The look in his face is horrible. It's like he's been punched and all the air is gone. And then his normal expressions rush in. "What's with that?" Riku asks.

"Ah..." Sora manages a laugh. "I knew she was just--"

"Don't look so completely horrified, Sora," Riku says, and tilts his head. "We're friends, right?"

"Best friends," Sora says. There's an ache starting up around his heart. "So--"

"So it doesn't matter," Riku says. "Nothing like that."

Sora nods slowly. "Yeah," he says. He can live with Riku just being in love with him. He doesn't think he's in love back. He has Kairi, and besides, how would he know?

"Right," Riku says, with confidence. "Ahh, I'm beat. I think I'm turning in."

As Riku lets go of his Keyblade and turns to go, Sora knows all of a sudden where this is going. Riku's going to run away again. He's learned the set of Riku's shoulders well when he promised himself he'd never let it happen again. He wouldn't let Riku run away from Destiny Islands when they were back on the World that Never Was. He won't let Riku run away again.

"I mean it," Sora says. "It's okay."

"I know," Riku calls back. "Don't get so worked up, Sora!"

Riku is going to contact the king, Sora thinks. He's gonna use it as a way to get off this island and go off who knows where, and the king'll _let_ him because they're like that.

Sora runs after Riku.

"Sora?"

"I'm coming with you."

"What? Knock it off," Riku protests. "You've got a date with Kairi tonight."

"She can come too."

"Sora."

"Let's play video games," Sora says. He grins at Riku. "And then you can prove to me that it IS okay by letting me beat you."

Riku looks strangely hurt and disappointed again, just for a moment, and that's when Sora knows he was right, Riku HAD been going to go away. And then, because lately Riku's not been very good at running any more, Riku just says, "Like I'll let you win. Fight me for it."

***

He's panicking a little, maybe, on the inside when he calls Kairi and she turns down coming over to play with them.

"I'm working on something," she says. "For next Friday."

It's the Celebration of the Dead on Friday, which does have a little festival coming up, and Sora hesitates. Kairi does do crafts and stuff, and they do take some time. "I--"

"Have fun," she says, and hangs up.

Sora has already made his decision by the time the receiver slowly settles into place. "Riku..."

"Yeah?"

"C'mon," he says, and takes a seat.

They play a little but Sora loses badly.

"Your mind's not on the game," Riku says finally, self-deprecating.

"Nah," Sora says, and throws the controller down, grins at Riku, and flops back on Riku's bed. "You're right!"

Riku looks down at him and his expression has gone longing. It's the same face he's worn for all those years when he looks out over the sea. "I--"

"C'mon, Riku," Sora says, and wriggles down. A decision's a decision. "I don't have all day."

Riku half-turns away. His shoulders are shaking.

"What? Riku, man..."

"You're trying to seduce me," Riku says, and the sound in his voice is laughter.

Sora scowls immediately. "I'm not -- okay, I -- what's wrong with that!"

"You're really bad at it."

"Riku!" Sora protests, and tackles him.

They go flying off the bed and Riku oofs as he hits the ground hard with Sora on him. Sora grins and grabs him by the front of the shirt.

Riku's eyes have a moment to widen, as though he realizes he's in some danger, and then Sora's kissing him.

He's got practice at it now, at least, he's pretty sure he's pretty good, and Riku goes weak against him for a moment before shoving him away. "Quit that," Riku says. "You don't have to." He sounds angry.

"Since when've I done what I have to when it comes to you?" Sora asked. "Don't take it so seriously."

"How can I--"

"You're Riku," Sora says. "If you go away again I can't stand it. I'll come after you. So stay here with me and let's do this."

"I --" Riku gapes. He gives up after a moment. "I don't need this, stupid. Things are fine as they are."

"Yeah," Sora says. "I like it. But I'd have to be a real idiot to be in love with you and just ignore it forever, right?"

***

"I really think I do," Roxas says, a little panicked, but nobody's listening.

***

Riku is all hard planes and strong tall body and way too skinny and it's totally different but not bad at all. Because he knows Riku and he knows what Riku should be like and. It's Riku.

And Riku kisses like he's got a point to prove, Riku kisses like he's still angry deep inside but with a gentle edge because the anger's not for Sora. Riku kisses like Sora's something important and it makes Sora shiver.

It's good like this.

They move together rough and awkwardly and Sora has a brief panicked moment where it's not going to work, their bodies don't _fit_ , but they don't have to, really. Riku just presses against him, half over him, and grinds.

It's not as good as it could be, probably, he thinks, but it's really hard to tell because Riku smells of sweat and _Riku_ ness and something thick behind that that Sora suspects is darkness, and he's moving with so much intention and Sora feels good and wants to feel more and puts a hand between them.

Wrapping his hand around them both makes Riku cry out and that's good, it's so good. He moves hard, he moves fast, he moves right next to Riku rubbing them together and he thinks _How could I not have known?_ He feels a little stupid but mostly happy and turned on and Riku shoves him back hard, straddles him to grind and that's just so Riku that it makes him come.

After, dazed, he stares up at Riku moving and Riku is staring down and it's like Sora's seeing him in a light he's never seen before. _Am I in love?_ he wonders and he thinks

_Well, yeah, that's what this is, right?_

Riku comes when Sora reaches up and puts a hand into his hair.

***

Kairi's pretty relieved when Sora tells her. "That's fine," she says, and doesn't talk about it any more, and they go out for ice cream and hold hands and Sora doesn't feel weird about it, actually, even though he'd expected to.

***

"So what're you planning, anyway?" Riku asks Kairi.

The three of them are together. It's hours before the sun will go down and Kairi's finishing stitching something together. The campfire's set up and ready to be lit. Usually the stuff's done on the main island, but they've always sneaked out to hold their own version on their island.

She says, "You know how there's a legend that someone bereaved will get to meet the soul of the dead person on this day?"

"Yeah?"

She says, "I'm making something for Sora to wear, it's a mourning necklace."

Sora blinks. "I didn't lose anybody," he says.

"Not you," she says. "Roxas."

"Roxas?"

"Axel," Riku says. "Right?"

"Yeah," Kairi says. "It's a little weird, but it's worth a shot."

Sora says, "But Axel doesn't have a soul, right?"

"We have souls," Naminé says, softly. "We don't have hearts."

"Is that enough?" Sora asks, dubiously.

Kairi looks at what she's holding. It's Riku who speaks: "You just not going to try? It's not for you, anyway. It's for Roxas."

"I didn't think you liked Axel," Sora says.

Riku says, "I don't dislike him."

Sora doesn't quite get it, but Kairi hangs the necklace on him anyway, and that's okay.

When the sun goes down they light the campfire, and Sora can feel Roxas strongly in him.

"Do you want this?" he asks aloud. "Really?"

 _I don't know_ , Roxas says. _Yes._

It's worth a shot, yeah, Sora figures, though he doesn't know what they'll do if Axel comes.

 _We promised_ , Roxas says. _If there's anything of him left, he'll come._

"Promises are important," Sora says. "Even if you forget yourself, if you've got a promise, you'll remember that."

Naminé looks at Sora through Kairi's eyes. "Where did you hear that?" she asks, sounding almost taken aback.

"...I don't remember," Sora says.

***

The campfire's burning, and they can hear the singing from the island. It's late, and nobody's come.

"Maybe we should give up," Sora says.

"No," Kairi says. "Look."

Sora turns.

It's not quite a man yet, not exactly, the fire twisting and turning and transparent and crawling forward. He jumps to his feet and steps back; Riku has his Keyblade out and Kairi's standing at the ready.

It is Axel, after all, or something like him, with an almost human shape and fire streaming like his hair and black gaps for eyes and mouth. It makes an expression that looks like a strained grin as it pulls itself across the ground towards Sora.

"...Axel?" Sora asks, uncertainly.

"Hey, Sora." It crackles and pops and hisses and is thin, terribly thin, but unmistakably Axel's voice. The keychain in his pocket has started to get hot. "This really fucking hurts, you know."

"Oh," Sora says. "I guess you. Didn't want to come?"

"Nah. I'm just. You know. _On fire_."

"You feel that?"

"Well," Axel says. "It's how I died, so..."

"Here," Kairi says. "It'll be okay. I promise."

"Tch," Axel says, hissing. He doesn't look at her. "I didn't want to see you again."

Riku says, "That's no way to talk to her."

Almost a shrug in response. "Oops. Guess I don't really care."

Sora says, "Roxas wants to see you."

 _No I don't,_ Roxas says. He's panicking. _No I--_

"Because he loves you," Sora says, and Roxas snaps inside him and shoves forward.

"Axel," Roxas says a moment later, and crouches down to look at him. Axel doesn't seem strong enough to push himself upright.

The black cracked grin widens. "Hey," he says.

Roxas scrambles at his neck, pulls the charm off, and drops it into the fire that's Axel.

The fire goes out.

For a long moment nobody breathes, and then Axel looks down at his blackened, ashened skin, the transparency through it of lack of body, and grins up at Roxas again. It's more familiar.

"You came," Roxas says.

"Hey," Axel says. "I made a promise, didn't I?"

"What Sora said," Roxas begins.

Axel waves a hand. It trails ash in the air. "Doesn't matter," he says. "I know a lie when I hear it."

"No, it's not, I--"

"Come here," Kairi tells Riku. "They need their privacy and there's something I need to do."

Riku rises and follows her. "You're right," he says.

***

"It's not a lie," Roxas tells him. He tries to reach for Axel, only touches air. "It's -- I didn't know."

"Long time to not know."

Roxas's smile is weak. "I didn't really have feelings, you know."

"Tch, like you can tell me that."

"I'm sorry," Roxas says. It's an apology that hurts to get out, and he remembers giving Hayner the same one for a similar reason. Personal betrayal is bad, like that, he thinks.

Axel glances aside. "Tch," he says again. "Don't apologize."

"You don't believe me."

"How can I?"

Roxas says, "I heard you. When you said you'd miss me and I walked away. I didn't believe you then, Axel."

Axel swallows. Roxas can hear it, even if there's nothing there to do it with. "Roxas..."

"I didn't know how I felt," Roxas says. "But. Please. Believe me when I say I love you."

***

"What are you doing?" Riku asks, when they get to the paopu tree. Kairi is looking off over the water, towards space.

She says, "I'm going to try to call his heart."

"Can you do that?"

"I don't know," she says, and gives him a wry smile. "Being a princess of heart has to be good for something other than lacking anger or hate or negative emotions, right?"

"It's a pretty powerful skill right there," Riku says dryly, but touches the back of her neck with a careful, loving touch. "His heart might not be out there."

"It might be, though," she says. "Hearts don't really get destroyed. So I'm going to try. Please, help me."

"There's nothing I can do," Riku says.

"Just be here."

***

Axel says, finally, "I believe you." His eyes are large and catlike and full of hope and Roxas feels bad, because he knows that look from when Axel had thought he'd got Roxas back, just once.

Hope really doesn't suit Axel, he thinks weakly.

"Stay with me," Roxas says.

"I don't think you can ask that," Axel says.

"You don't want to?"

"What I've wanted's never mattered much," Axel says. "Besides, I'm dead."

"You promised."

"To meet. I never said we'd stay together," Axel says, and he laughs. It's a bit painful.

"You _promised_ ," Roxas says. He reaches out and his hand passes through Axel, leaving only phantom ash on it. He reaches again anyway. He hates this. He knows this. It's so familiar. Axel's vanishing, his world is vanishing, and he'll be left empty and alone with nothing but completion to make everything all right. "You promised!"

***

Axel's heart comes when called.

It comes, admittedly, with a Heartless around it. An Invisible; Riku recognizes it immediately.

"My turn," Riku says, and attacks.

He's got a Keyblade now, so when he takes it down a few strokes later, the heart floats free and begins to drift.

Kairi reaches out and snatches it from the air, and holds it.

"Now what?" Riku asks.

Kairi's voice is small. "I don't know."

Lifting a brow, he says, "You don't know?"

"I didn't think that far ahead," she says. "He -- Axel, he only had a soul. There wasn't a body."

Riku watches them for a long moment. It hurts inside, kind of. He's used to being alone now, and he hates those memories of darkness always clinging. Always fighting. He was free of it finally, after DiZ's sacrifice, and now--

Even as he thinks it, he knows he's made his decision.

He plucks it from Kairi's hand and stares at it.

"Riku?" Kairi asks.

"A body can hold more than one heart," he says resignedly. "Sora showed that."

"Riku!"

"It's always bugged me," Riku adds thoughtfully, "that he one-upped me in that, back then." And then he presses the heart to his chest and inside.

A moment later, Axel is rushing towards him.

Riku holds his arms out.

***

"I love you too," Axel says, with a voice like he's never actually expected to be able to say it. "Roxas, I --"

And then he's gone, swept away, and Roxas hurts suddenly; his heart is pain, entirely pain, nothing but pain, and he wraps his arms around his chest and doubles over and screams a scream, low and hoarse as the tears start to come.

***

It's not darkness but heat that pours through him, still an unwelcome invasion but not so bad, maybe.

_You've got a roomy place in here, huh? Last inhabitant really decorated a lot. Not such great taste, but eh--_

It will, Riku decides, be kind of annoying, but at least this one has better goals. Riku knows single-minded obsession, after all.

"Stop looking around," Riku snaps. "Don't you have something you should be doing?"

"Oh hell," Axel says through Riku's body as Riku's form shudders and changes. "Roxas!"

He takes off at a run.

***

He almost can't breathe; he's never cried, not really, and this feels like he's tearing apart, like he's going to come to pieces.

"Roxas!"

He wants so much.

He wants so, so much.

He's afraid to look.

"Roxas," Axel says, and slides towards him on his knees in the sand, throwing himself down. "Shit, shit, don't cry, you don't cry, what the hell am I supposed to do if you cry?"

"Axel," Roxas says, and falls apart, and throws himself on Axel.

***

It takes a long time for Roxas to cry himself out, and Axel just holds him in the meantime, rubs his back, waits until those sick hitching breaths finish. After, he pulls back.

His eyes are red around the edges but he's smiling.

"You know," Axel says. "You're puffy."

"...Axel."

"And your nose is really snotty," he says. "You sound like your voice has been attacked by a cheese grater."

Roxas has started to frown.

"And you're still the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Axel doesn't wait; Axel never has, even when Roxas didn't care. He just kisses like that. There's blood on his mouth because Roxas's dry lips had chapped and split a bit while he cried, and it tastes good.

It tastes alive.

Roxas shivers, a little cold like shock, then kisses back determinedly, hard and fast and like he always has only there's feelings behind it and Axel feels a little weak, feels his heart pounding -- and there's an experience -- and feels totally overwhelmed and in love with no limitations.

He feels like he's come home. Not his home, maybe, but he's okay with living in someone else's place.

Sex is brutal and rough with nothing to make it easy, sand grinding into his shoulders and Roxas pressed into him. He hooks his legs up over Roxas's shoulders and doesn't give a _fuck_ about the pain because they're together, actually together, and his heart is going to burst and he twines his fingers with Roxas's as Roxas moves, and Roxas squeezes them and he comes right then. Just from that. He'll later blame it on this body's inexperience, he thinks through the shaking shock of it.

Roxas doesn't let go, holds him tight, keeps moving until he's done, and then he only lets go to switch hands, which is okay, because Axel's fingers hurt a little.

***

He's never felt anything like this before.

This is love, he thinks. Yeah. This is love.

***

From the island, Kairi looks out to sea to give them a modicum of privacy, her cheeks red, and Naminé, sitting on the paopu tree, asks, "Is this okay?"

"Mm," Kairi says. "It's a little weird."

"A little weird," Naminé repeats with a ghost of good humour.

Kairi laughs. "A lot weird," she admits. "But..."

"What is it?" Naminé asks.

She steals a peek down at them. The night sky behind the island is a black field full of glowing worlds.

"Maybe it's weird," she said. "But I like this happy ending anyway."


	2. Chapter 2

  


Right, so. [](http://mackzazzle.livejournal.com/profile)[**mackzazzle**](http://mackzazzle.livejournal.com/) has five essays due practically all next week and needed motivation. So. I offered fic? And then. This ... ... yeah I've never written something this long this quickly.

Ah ha ha. Pardon any tense switches, though I think I at least caught all the typos. XD

 **Completion**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
...OT5+1, if you know that. XD Um. So/Kai, So/Ri, faint Ri/Kai, some Namine and Roxas thrown in there, annnnnd Roxas/Axel.  
End of game spoilers, not safe for work

"The thing I don't get," Sora tells Riku after he's come back from going to see the movies with Kairi, "is why everything feels unresolved."

Riku had been staring out over the sea again. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Sora hesitates, then gestures. "Like, everything should feel more complete, right? Complete's a bad term," he says abruptly. "No, it's complete. I just mean -- finished. We defeated the Organization, I opened the Door to Light, I've found both you and Kairi, I melded with Roxas, we came home, and then I found out I have a girlfriend. Have had for like a year, apparently." He gestures to the secret place.

"Yeah," Riku says. "When you say it like that, it almost sounds like you weren't lazy."

Sora scowls at him. "I'm not lazy! Jeez."

"You've not changed _that_ much--"

"But what I'm _saying_ ," Sora interrupts with, "is it's all over, right? So why does it feel like I'm still waiting for an ending?"

"This isn't a story, idiot," Riku says. "Nothing's ever finished."

***

"But are you happy," Sora asks Roxas one of the times they communicate. It's not always easy for Sora to hear him. Not always easy for Sora to listen.

Roxas takes a long moment to consider this. The breeze stirs his hair, and he lifts Sora's hand, pokes the campfire. The night sky is huge so that their world is something tiny in a sea of darkness filled with stars.

"I'm complete," Roxas says.

"But _are you happy_? Didn't you want things for yourself too?"

"I'm complete," Roxas says, as if Sora is a little stupid.

***

Sora's never been stupid, but sometimes he's been unobservant. Lately he sees Riku watching him when they're doing stuff together. It makes him realize that Riku's always been watching him. When they run, he'd be staring straight ahead, but out of the corner of his eye he'd have caught sight at Riku.

It's only a year or so later now, but when he'd dismissed it then he realizes now that Riku'd be running watching him.

It's a bit weird and he doesn't quite understand it. If it were all after, he'd know what it was about -- They'd both lost each other, and Riku had intended to stay lost, and just watch Sora from afar. He'd built a habit out of watching, right?

But the fact that it's an older habit, he doesn't know what to make of that.

***

They cook marshmallows, the five of them in three bodies. Kairi had found out that Naminé had never had marshmallows before, which had led to Sora poking at Roxas until he found out that Roxas never had.

It was pretty unfair, they'd decided, and gone to make them. Riku had laughed at them -- "Don't be stupid, you guys; what would they want with marshmallows" -- but:

"You're the stupid one," Sora had said,

and

"Maybe I'm a little selfish," Kairi had said, "but I don't think it's good to just have what you need to exist on. Isn't it nice to have the little things that make you happy too?"

So they end up out here sitting on logs and cooking marshmallows in the circle of light and heat.

"It's nice like this," Kairi says. "When we're together. All three of us."

"More than that," Riku says, a bit archly.

"That's not what I mean," Kairi says. "Even if there were twenty people here, I'd say that too."

"Yeah," Riku says. "I guess so. Pity we can't do _everything_ together now, though."

 _Careful_ Roxas tells Sora. _Your marshmallow's on fire._ He lifts Sora's hands for him, brings the marshmallow close, and waits too long before blowing it out. It's black, by then, but the inside is soft.

***

He goes to Kairi about it eventually. They're curled together and she's warm and comfortable in his arms.

"Hey, Kairi? Can I ask you a weird question?"

"All your questions are weird, Sora."

He grumbles. "Kairi..."

"Go ahead, go ahead..."

"It's about Riku," Sora says. "He's always _watching_ me..."

"I know."

"You know? I hadn't just imagined it?"

Kairi shakes her head. "He always has," Kairi says. "Since I arrived on the islands. Probably earlier."

"But that was forever ago!" Sora protests, taken aback.

"I know," Kairi agrees. "It's -- I really like Riku," she says, and it sounds like a confession. "But it scared me."

"Why?" Sora asks.

"Because..." She sighs. "Do you remember the time I told you to run away with just me?"

Sora nods. "You said you were joking."

"I lie sometimes," she says. "I always remembered Radiant Garden. I wasn't joking. ...things like that."

"Kairi," Sora says. His brows have drawn down and he looks uncertain. "Why?"

"I thought he was going to take you away from me," Kairi says. "And I wanted -- but I also wanted to go the three of us, and I felt bad even thinking it, so ... I said I was joking, and..."

Sora frowns. "Why would he take me away from you? Kairi, that's silly. He and I are friends, but he really loves you."

Kairi gives him a weird smile. "No," she says. "That's not it at all."

***

Later, it's him and Roxas in bed. This moment before sleep, consciousness slipping slowly off, is when they're the closest. He can't get the words out of his mind, can't seem to turn them in any angle where they make sense. Even if they're from Kairi, they're bizarre.

"Were you ever in love?" Sora asks.

"No," Roxas says. "Where's that from?"

"Ah, it's just," Sora mutters and feels a bit weird. He presses closer to Roxas, and that should feel weird too, because he's never really slept wrapped around another guy, but it's Roxas, and they fit together so perfectly. It's not like they're different bodies, really. "It's just that I was... wondering."

Roxas shakes his head. The soft spikes of blond hair brush Sora's forehead. "I've never felt anything like that," he says. And then he adds, abruptly, "I had someone in love with me, though."

"Really? Who?"

"You have to ask?"

Sora considers. He tilts his head this way and that on the pillow. "I don't really know any girls in the Organization or anything. Oh! Was it Olette?"

Roxas makes a little noise, half huff, half laugh. "It wasn't a girl."

"What?"

"...Yeah."

"Oh," Sora says. And then, "Ooooh. Wow. Um. That Axel, then?"

"Yeah," Roxas says. "Axel was in love with me." He pronounces the word strangely -- really pronouncing it, like it's his first time sounding them out.

Sora wrinkles his nose. "That just makes me feel weird! He told me I made him feel the same way."

"Maybe you did."

"That's _weird_ , though."

"Is it bad?"

Sora says, "I don't even know him."

"You don't have to do anything for someone to be in love with you," Roxas says. "Sometimes they just are."

"Do you think he was in love with me?" Sora asks, anxiously.

Roxas is silent a long moment. And then he says, "I hope not."

"Why?"

"Because I liked him being in love with me."

Sora stares at him. "I thought you weren't in love with him?"

"I wasn't," Roxas says. "I don't think." He sounds troubled. "But it felt good, to have someone feeling that way about me. Constantly. Sometimes I think he'd have done anything except betray the Organization."

"He did betray the Organization though," Sora says. "He said it was for you."

"I know," Roxas says. "...I was wrong, in what I thought."

"Now I feel weird," Sora complains.

Roxas is silent another few minutes. "But how would I know?" he asks, finally.

"Huh?"

"If I was in love."

"I think you just know," Sora says. "Don't you?" He can't remember ever deciding what his friendship for Kairi was, what it had become, just that he liked the development when it happened. They'd always been friends. Everything more than that just seemed to have fit when he'd thought about it enough.

"Do you?"

"I don't know," Sora says, finally.

***

"Hey, Riku," Sora says. It's a brilliant day out, the sun high in a bright blue sky. He's already been swimming and he's dripping wet. "Did you know, Roxas thinks maybe Axel was in love with me."

"Is that so," Riku asks. He's watching Sora from the shade of the paopu tree, munching by himself on one of the fruits.

Sora nods. "Isn't that weird?"

"Mm," Riku says. He finishes the fruit, then tosses the pit into the water, throwing it far. "I don't like it."

"Why not? Because it's weird?"

"Something like that," he says, and dives into the water, and swims for shore.

Sora stares after him. "Weird," he mutters, and follows suit.

***

As Sora is falling asleep, Roxas comes out with, "What if I do?"

"Huh?" Sora asks. He's sleepy, he doesn't really want to talk. "Do what?"

"Love him."

It takes Sora a while to remember last night. "What, Axel? You'd know, right?"

"Maybe I did. Maybe I do," Roxas says. "I've never thought about it."

"He loved you, and you never thought about it?"

"Why would I?" Roxas asks, helplessly. He twines his fingers with Sora. "What'll I do?"

Sora shrugs. "I dunno... he's dead, right?"

"We promised. I promised him we'd meet again in the next life," Roxas says. His voice is still low and quiet but it's picked up a desperate edge. "But he's dead and he isn't coming back, he said he doesn't think he's got a next life. And I don't even have a life any more. Just yours. What'll I do? How will I even know if that's how I feel, if I don't see him again? Maybe I don't. It might be nothing. It's usually nothing, with me. What should I do?"

Sora puts a hand over his chest. He thinks he can feel his heart in there. "I dunno," he says. This is all too much for him, dead boys in love and he's tired, and he wants to sleep. "Just live with it?"

Roxas goes silent.

"Well," he says. "I'm used to that."

***

He doesn't really feel bad about it later, though, until he sees Riku watching him again while the three of them are out playing.

"Kairi," he says later. "Do you ever have weird talks with Naminé?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean about... relationship stuff."

Kairi blinks at him. "Well, yeah," she said. "I mean, we share a body, it's only polite."

"Oh," Sora says. He blushes when he thinks about that. Now he feels _really_ weird.

"Were you talking about something with Roxas?"

"He thinks he might have been in love with Axel," Sora says. "But he's not sure. But he knows Axel was in love with him."

"At least he noticed," Kairi muttered.

"Huh?"

Kairi shakes her head. "Nothing. So..."

"Oh yeah," Sora says, reminded. "I was supposed to tell you that Axel says he's sorry."

"--What?"

Sora rubs the back of his head. "Yeah, for kidnapping you. He says he did it because he wanted to see Roxas again? He knew that taking you would lure me in, so--"

Kairi's face crumples for a moment. "Oh, Sora," she says.

"What?"

"And then he died."

"Yeah..."

Kairi says, "I hate that. If he loved Roxas so much, why did he have to die? Naminé and Roxas got to live, why did so many Nobodies--"

"Well," Sora says, "it's not like he had someone to go home to."

"You freed a lot of hearts," Kairi says. "Maybe his is out there. We can--"

"How could we tell?" Sora asks.

Her face falls again.

"Besides," Sora says. "Where would he go? He's dead. You can't just bring the dead back."

"You did. When you restored the worlds."

"Axel isn't even someone like that," Sora says. "is he?"

"No," Kairi admits, slowly, with the face she has on when she's listening to Naminé. "Even if his other was restored, incomplete, the person who was Axel would be dead..."

"Yeah, so I told him to cope."

Kairi stares at him.

And then she says, deliberately mean, "You know Riku's in love with you, right?"

"What?" Sora stares at her. "Kairi! That's not--"

"You can't just cope," she says, slow and deliberate. "When you know something like that. Don't be so mean in your heart, Sora. It's the only one Roxas has."

***

He doesn't know what to say when he sees Riku again. Doesn't even know what to think, except _Riku's in love with me_. He doesn't know how long it's been, he doesn't know anything except that it's crazy, that if Riku's been watching him this long and it means that he _loves_ him then why did he chase Kairi down and spend all his time accusing Sora of not doing enough for her?

It doesn't make sense. Unless it was a way of saying something else, but--

"Kairi says you're in love with me," he blurts out.

Riku pauses in the middle of a swing. He's practising with Way to the Dawn against the air. When he turns, it's slowly.

The look in his face is horrible. It's like he's been punched and all the air is gone. And then his normal expressions rush in. "What's with that?" Riku asks.

"Ah..." Sora manages a laugh. "I knew she was just--"

"Don't look so completely horrified, Sora," Riku says, and tilts his head. "We're friends, right?"

"Best friends," Sora says. There's an ache starting up around his heart. "So--"

"So it doesn't matter," Riku says. "Nothing like that."

Sora nods slowly. "Yeah," he says. He can live with Riku just being in love with him. He doesn't think he's in love back. He has Kairi, and besides, how would he know?

"Right," Riku says, with confidence. "Ahh, I'm beat. I think I'm turning in."

As Riku lets go of his Keyblade and turns to go, Sora knows all of a sudden where this is going. Riku's going to run away again. He's learned the set of Riku's shoulders well when he promised himself he'd never let it happen again. He wouldn't let Riku run away from Destiny Islands when they were back on the World that Never Was. He won't let Riku run away again.

"I mean it," Sora says. "It's okay."

"I know," Riku calls back. "Don't get so worked up, Sora!"

Riku is going to contact the king, Sora thinks. He's gonna use it as a way to get off this island and go off who knows where, and the king'll _let_ him because they're like that.

Sora runs after Riku.

"Sora?"

"I'm coming with you."

"What? Knock it off," Riku protests. "You've got a date with Kairi tonight."

"She can come too."

"Sora."

"Let's play video games," Sora says. He grins at Riku. "And then you can prove to me that it IS okay by letting me beat you."

Riku looks strangely hurt and disappointed again, just for a moment, and that's when Sora knows he was right, Riku HAD been going to go away. And then, because lately Riku's not been very good at running any more, Riku just says, "Like I'll let you win. Fight me for it."

***

He's panicking a little, maybe, on the inside when he calls Kairi and she turns down coming over to play with them.

"I'm working on something," she says. "For next Friday."

It's the Celebration of the Dead on Friday, which does have a little festival coming up, and Sora hesitates. Kairi does do crafts and stuff, and they do take some time. "I--"

"Have fun," she says, and hangs up.

Sora has already made his decision by the time the receiver slowly settles into place. "Riku..."

"Yeah?"

"C'mon," he says, and takes a seat.

They play a little but Sora loses badly.

"Your mind's not on the game," Riku says finally, self-deprecating.

"Nah," Sora says, and throws the controller down, grins at Riku, and flops back on Riku's bed. "You're right!"

Riku looks down at him and his expression has gone longing. It's the same face he's worn for all those years when he looks out over the sea. "I--"

"C'mon, Riku," Sora says, and wriggles down. A decision's a decision. "I don't have all day."

Riku half-turns away. His shoulders are shaking.

"What? Riku, man..."

"You're trying to seduce me," Riku says, and the sound in his voice is laughter.

Sora scowls immediately. "I'm not -- okay, I -- what's wrong with that!"

"You're really bad at it."

"Riku!" Sora protests, and tackles him.

They go flying off the bed and Riku oofs as he hits the ground hard with Sora on him. Sora grins and grabs him by the front of the shirt.

Riku's eyes have a moment to widen, as though he realizes he's in some danger, and then Sora's kissing him.

He's got practice at it now, at least, he's pretty sure he's pretty good, and Riku goes weak against him for a moment before shoving him away. "Quit that," Riku says. "You don't have to." He sounds angry.

"Since when've I done what I have to when it comes to you?" Sora asked. "Don't take it so seriously."

"How can I--"

"You're Riku," Sora says. "If you go away again I can't stand it. I'll come after you. So stay here with me and let's do this."

"I --" Riku gapes. He gives up after a moment. "I don't need this, stupid. Things are fine as they are."

"Yeah," Sora says. "I like it. But I'd have to be a real idiot to be in love with you and just ignore it forever, right?"

***

"I really think I do," Roxas says, a little panicked, but nobody's listening.

***

Riku is all hard planes and strong tall body and way too skinny and it's totally different but not bad at all. Because he knows Riku and he knows what Riku should be like and. It's Riku.

And Riku kisses like he's got a point to prove, Riku kisses like he's still angry deep inside but with a gentle edge because the anger's not for Sora. Riku kisses like Sora's something important and it makes Sora shiver.

It's good like this.

They move together rough and awkwardly and Sora has a brief panicked moment where it's not going to work, their bodies don't _fit_ , but they don't have to, really. Riku just presses against him, half over him, and grinds.

It's not as good as it could be, probably, he thinks, but it's really hard to tell because Riku smells of sweat and _Riku_ ness and something thick behind that that Sora suspects is darkness, and he's moving with so much intention and Sora feels good and wants to feel more and puts a hand between them.

Wrapping his hand around them both makes Riku cry out and that's good, it's so good. He moves hard, he moves fast, he moves right next to Riku rubbing them together and he thinks _How could I not have known?_ He feels a little stupid but mostly happy and turned on and Riku shoves him back hard, straddles him to grind and that's just so Riku that it makes him come.

After, dazed, he stares up at Riku moving and Riku is staring down and it's like Sora's seeing him in a light he's never seen before. _Am I in love?_ he wonders and he thinks

_Well, yeah, that's what this is, right?_

Riku comes when Sora reaches up and puts a hand into his hair.

***

Kairi's pretty relieved when Sora tells her. "That's fine," she says, and doesn't talk about it any more, and they go out for ice cream and hold hands and Sora doesn't feel weird about it, actually, even though he'd expected to.

***

"So what're you planning, anyway?" Riku asks Kairi.

The three of them are together. It's hours before the sun will go down and Kairi's finishing stitching something together. The campfire's set up and ready to be lit. Usually the stuff's done on the main island, but they've always sneaked out to hold their own version on their island.

She says, "You know how there's a legend that someone bereaved will get to meet the soul of the dead person on this day?"

"Yeah?"

She says, "I'm making something for Sora to wear, it's a mourning necklace."

Sora blinks. "I didn't lose anybody," he says.

"Not you," she says. "Roxas."

"Roxas?"

"Axel," Riku says. "Right?"

"Yeah," Kairi says. "It's a little weird, but it's worth a shot."

Sora says, "But Axel doesn't have a soul, right?"

"We have souls," Naminé says, softly. "We don't have hearts."

"Is that enough?" Sora asks, dubiously.

Kairi looks at what she's holding. It's Riku who speaks: "You just not going to try? It's not for you, anyway. It's for Roxas."

"I didn't think you liked Axel," Sora says.

Riku says, "I don't dislike him."

Sora doesn't quite get it, but Kairi hangs the necklace on him anyway, and that's okay.

When the sun goes down they light the campfire, and Sora can feel Roxas strongly in him.

"Do you want this?" he asks aloud. "Really?"

 _I don't know_ , Roxas says. _Yes._

It's worth a shot, yeah, Sora figures, though he doesn't know what they'll do if Axel comes.

 _We promised_ , Roxas says. _If there's anything of him left, he'll come._

"Promises are important," Sora says. "Even if you forget yourself, if you've got a promise, you'll remember that."

Naminé looks at Sora through Kairi's eyes. "Where did you hear that?" she asks, sounding almost taken aback.

"...I don't remember," Sora says.

***

The campfire's burning, and they can hear the singing from the island. It's late, and nobody's come.

"Maybe we should give up," Sora says.

"No," Kairi says. "Look."

Sora turns.

It's not quite a man yet, not exactly, the fire twisting and turning and transparent and crawling forward. He jumps to his feet and steps back; Riku has his Keyblade out and Kairi's standing at the ready.

It is Axel, after all, or something like him, with an almost human shape and fire streaming like his hair and black gaps for eyes and mouth. It makes an expression that looks like a strained grin as it pulls itself across the ground towards Sora.

"...Axel?" Sora asks, uncertainly.

"Hey, Sora." It crackles and pops and hisses and is thin, terribly thin, but unmistakably Axel's voice. The keychain in his pocket has started to get hot. "This really fucking hurts, you know."

"Oh," Sora says. "I guess you. Didn't want to come?"

"Nah. I'm just. You know. _On fire_."

"You feel that?"

"Well," Axel says. "It's how I died, so..."

"Here," Kairi says. "It'll be okay. I promise."

"Tch," Axel says, hissing. He doesn't look at her. "I didn't want to see you again."

Riku says, "That's no way to talk to her."

Almost a shrug in response. "Oops. Guess I don't really care."

Sora says, "Roxas wants to see you."

 _No I don't,_ Roxas says. He's panicking. _No I--_

"Because he loves you," Sora says, and Roxas snaps inside him and shoves forward.

"Axel," Roxas says a moment later, and crouches down to look at him. Axel doesn't seem strong enough to push himself upright.

The black cracked grin widens. "Hey," he says.

Roxas scrambles at his neck, pulls the charm off, and drops it into the fire that's Axel.

The fire goes out.

For a long moment nobody breathes, and then Axel looks down at his blackened, ashened skin, the transparency through it of lack of body, and grins up at Roxas again. It's more familiar.

"You came," Roxas says.

"Hey," Axel says. "I made a promise, didn't I?"

"What Sora said," Roxas begins.

Axel waves a hand. It trails ash in the air. "Doesn't matter," he says. "I know a lie when I hear it."

"No, it's not, I--"

"Come here," Kairi tells Riku. "They need their privacy and there's something I need to do."

Riku rises and follows her. "You're right," he says.

***

"It's not a lie," Roxas tells him. He tries to reach for Axel, only touches air. "It's -- I didn't know."

"Long time to not know."

Roxas's smile is weak. "I didn't really have feelings, you know."

"Tch, like you can tell me that."

"I'm sorry," Roxas says. It's an apology that hurts to get out, and he remembers giving Hayner the same one for a similar reason. Personal betrayal is bad, like that, he thinks.

Axel glances aside. "Tch," he says again. "Don't apologize."

"You don't believe me."

"How can I?"

Roxas says, "I heard you. When you said you'd miss me and I walked away. I didn't believe you then, Axel."

Axel swallows. Roxas can hear it, even if there's nothing there to do it with. "Roxas..."

"I didn't know how I felt," Roxas says. "But. Please. Believe me when I say I love you."

***

"What are you doing?" Riku asks, when they get to the paopu tree. Kairi is looking off over the water, towards space.

She says, "I'm going to try to call his heart."

"Can you do that?"

"I don't know," she says, and gives him a wry smile. "Being a princess of heart has to be good for something other than lacking anger or hate or negative emotions, right?"

"It's a pretty powerful skill right there," Riku says dryly, but touches the back of her neck with a careful, loving touch. "His heart might not be out there."

"It might be, though," she says. "Hearts don't really get destroyed. So I'm going to try. Please, help me."

"There's nothing I can do," Riku says.

"Just be here."

***

Axel says, finally, "I believe you." His eyes are large and catlike and full of hope and Roxas feels bad, because he knows that look from when Axel had thought he'd got Roxas back, just once.

Hope really doesn't suit Axel, he thinks weakly.

"Stay with me," Roxas says.

"I don't think you can ask that," Axel says.

"You don't want to?"

"What I've wanted's never mattered much," Axel says. "Besides, I'm dead."

"You promised."

"To meet. I never said we'd stay together," Axel says, and he laughs. It's a bit painful.

"You _promised_ ," Roxas says. He reaches out and his hand passes through Axel, leaving only phantom ash on it. He reaches again anyway. He hates this. He knows this. It's so familiar. Axel's vanishing, his world is vanishing, and he'll be left empty and alone with nothing but completion to make everything all right. "You promised!"

***

Axel's heart comes when called.

It comes, admittedly, with a Heartless around it. An Invisible; Riku recognizes it immediately.

"My turn," Riku says, and attacks.

He's got a Keyblade now, so when he takes it down a few strokes later, the heart floats free and begins to drift.

Kairi reaches out and snatches it from the air, and holds it.

"Now what?" Riku asks.

Kairi's voice is small. "I don't know."

Lifting a brow, he says, "You don't know?"

"I didn't think that far ahead," she says. "He -- Axel, he only had a soul. There wasn't a body."

Riku watches them for a long moment. It hurts inside, kind of. He's used to being alone now, and he hates those memories of darkness always clinging. Always fighting. He was free of it finally, after DiZ's sacrifice, and now--

Even as he thinks it, he knows he's made his decision.

He plucks it from Kairi's hand and stares at it.

"Riku?" Kairi asks.

"A body can hold more than one heart," he says resignedly. "Sora showed that."

"Riku!"

"It's always bugged me," Riku adds thoughtfully, "that he one-upped me in that, back then." And then he presses the heart to his chest and inside.

A moment later, Axel is rushing towards him.

Riku holds his arms out.

***

"I love you too," Axel says, with a voice like he's never actually expected to be able to say it. "Roxas, I --"

And then he's gone, swept away, and Roxas hurts suddenly; his heart is pain, entirely pain, nothing but pain, and he wraps his arms around his chest and doubles over and screams a scream, low and hoarse as the tears start to come.

***

It's not darkness but heat that pours through him, still an unwelcome invasion but not so bad, maybe.

_You've got a roomy place in here, huh? Last inhabitant really decorated a lot. Not such great taste, but eh--_

It will, Riku decides, be kind of annoying, but at least this one has better goals. Riku knows single-minded obsession, after all.

"Stop looking around," Riku snaps. "Don't you have something you should be doing?"

"Oh hell," Axel says through Riku's body as Riku's form shudders and changes. "Roxas!"

He takes off at a run.

***

He almost can't breathe; he's never cried, not really, and this feels like he's tearing apart, like he's going to come to pieces.

"Roxas!"

He wants so much.

He wants so, so much.

He's afraid to look.

"Roxas," Axel says, and slides towards him on his knees in the sand, throwing himself down. "Shit, shit, don't cry, you don't cry, what the hell am I supposed to do if you cry?"

"Axel," Roxas says, and falls apart, and throws himself on Axel.

***

It takes a long time for Roxas to cry himself out, and Axel just holds him in the meantime, rubs his back, waits until those sick hitching breaths finish. After, he pulls back.

His eyes are red around the edges but he's smiling.

"You know," Axel says. "You're puffy."

"...Axel."

"And your nose is really snotty," he says. "You sound like your voice has been attacked by a cheese grater."

Roxas has started to frown.

"And you're still the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Axel doesn't wait; Axel never has, even when Roxas didn't care. He just kisses like that. There's blood on his mouth because Roxas's dry lips had chapped and split a bit while he cried, and it tastes good.

It tastes alive.

Roxas shivers, a little cold like shock, then kisses back determinedly, hard and fast and like he always has only there's feelings behind it and Axel feels a little weak, feels his heart pounding -- and there's an experience -- and feels totally overwhelmed and in love with no limitations.

He feels like he's come home. Not his home, maybe, but he's okay with living in someone else's place.

Sex is brutal and rough with nothing to make it easy, sand grinding into his shoulders and Roxas pressed into him. He hooks his legs up over Roxas's shoulders and doesn't give a _fuck_ about the pain because they're together, actually together, and his heart is going to burst and he twines his fingers with Roxas's as Roxas moves, and Roxas squeezes them and he comes right then. Just from that. He'll later blame it on this body's inexperience, he thinks through the shaking shock of it.

Roxas doesn't let go, holds him tight, keeps moving until he's done, and then he only lets go to switch hands, which is okay, because Axel's fingers hurt a little.

***

He's never felt anything like this before.

This is love, he thinks. Yeah. This is love.

***

From the island, Kairi looks out to sea to give them a modicum of privacy, her cheeks red, and Naminé, sitting on the paopu tree, asks, "Is this okay?"

"Mm," Kairi says. "It's a little weird."

"A little weird," Naminé repeats with a ghost of good humour.

Kairi laughs. "A lot weird," she admits. "But..."

"What is it?" Naminé asks.

She steals a peek down at them. The night sky behind the island is a black field full of glowing worlds.

"Maybe it's weird," she said. "But I like this happy ending anyway."


	3. [fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "Beating Hearts"

  


**Beating Hearts**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html)  
OT6. Namine, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. YOU HEARD ME.  
Not safe for work! Post-game spoilers  
Approx. 5650 words.

The problem lies in the guilt.

***

Here's the beach on which it happened. All of it. The races, the beginnings, the endings. Here's a beach where something that didn't exist pushed its way through to try to stake a claim.

Riku stops on it and looks down. He frowns. Axel's gone quiet inside him -- that's a rarity these days; Axel's always got something to say and seems to relish the fact that he's got a chance to say it.

"Well?"

_Girl's got spirit,_ Axel says.

"What?"

_This is Kairi's place, isn't it?_ And then Axel's silent again, and Riku sighs, sticks his hands in his pockets, and keeps walking.

***

Usually Roxas goes over to see Axel now, because Sora's room is small and close to his parents' and Roxas isn't good at things, he's found, that're gentle or quiet. Riku, however, has rich parents; his home is huge -- the balcony outside his room alone could belong to a prince -- and his bed is big.

It's not that Roxas really goes over so they can fuck, but it always ends up happening anyway. They get a few moments of conversation and then they're grabbing at each other, handfuls of hair and clothing. Roxas tearing Riku's pyjamas open over Axel's skin, Axel's own hands sliding down his back to cup his ass and pull him nearer. They bite and tear and roll around hard and once they fell off the bed and someone called up to ask if Riku was okay.

Roxas grasps the trellis on the wall next to Riku's balcony and pulls himself up slowly. Rose thorns cut into his fingers briefly and he sucks on one hand as he grabs the rail and slides over.

Riku opens the balcony door and looks at him.

Roxas looks back and jerks his chin up after a moment. He can never quite help but feel defensive about Riku. Something about the way Riku looks at him and not at Sora always puts him a little on edge, reminds him of all that time spent where Riku was willing to kill him to get Sora back.

Admittedly, recently that expression has been changing, but that's hardly something that makes Roxas all that more comfortable.

Riku's gaze drops. "You're bleeding."

Roxas shrugs. "Your balcony's hard to get up to," he says. It's all between them, sticks and the feel of being jerked upright by the joint of his shoulder. Sitting empty-handed on train seats. Beaches he missed out on. A long corridor that only goes one way and something at the end.

Shrugging back, Riku turns away. "I didn't know you were coming over tonight."

"Is it a bad time?"

"I don't care," Riku says, and then his body is stretching, changing that bit, red bleeding into his hair, and it's Axel who turns to look back at Roxas. "Sorry about that, baby," Axel says. "That guy sometimes doesn't want to move."

"Well," Roxas says. "It is his body."

"Tch, like I don't know that," Axel says. He takes a seat on his bed, pats it grinning. "I missed you."

"Are you lonely?"

"Nah," Axel says. "But I miss you anyway." He makes his eyes wide, like he' s playing cute, and Roxas lets Axel trick him, gets onto the bed with him, presses lips and bloody fingers to that familiar skin.

***

Later when Roxas is gone Riku rolls over and grumbles to himself; Axel leaves him damaged on purpose, he sometimes thinks. There's a bite on his throat that will be hellish to explain away tomorrow if he can't keep his collar turned out, and the throbbing near-pain is something else.

_Like you mind it._

"From him I do," Riku shoots back.

Axel laughs. It fills his chest where their hearts nestle together.

_You can't run forever,_ Axel says.

"Like you can."

_I'm not running from anything any more._

Riku smiles tersely at him and throws at him an image from his past of Kairi collapsed rag-doll-like against a mast and the image grows until Axel can't back up any farther without falling and instead the ship springs up around him and he's there as Riku bends down and picks Kairi up in his arms.

Her head flops back, and her eyes are glazed and a little open and her mouth is open.

"Kairi," Riku says, young then, and holds her closer to his chest. She looks so much younger, Axel thinks as he circles the image. Darkness is roiling under Riku's feet, darkness is roiling through Riku's veins, eyes are opening in the shadows, but where Riku holds Kairi there's only warmth.

She's not there, though; Axel could say that much. Instead there's some little girl getting shoved into a cage in a castle, but Riku doesn't know that and Kairi doesn't know that either and that's another world, another person, not here at all.

Instead Riku just carries her around and tries to pose her as if she's properly living. His own shadow mimics his actions in horrible dark parodies but he ignores it and tucks her into bed like she's just sleeping and

Axel remembers the feel of her wrist under his hand as she tugged to try to get free

then turns and goes to face Sora and Riku and Axel snap out of it at the same time.

_I'm not running,_ Axel says. _I've got nothing to say to her._

Riku puts a pillow over his own head. "Coward," he says.

_Hypocrite_ , Axel throws back, but the word's never bothered Riku before.

***

Sora is held up at his house for cleaning ("It's so unfair," he'd said, "I'm the Keyblade master, do I really have to do housework?") and Riku and Kairi are waiting out on the island for him to get free. She'd started out sitting with her legs dangling over the edge, the water just a bare distance below -- they'd all knocked each other into the water from there enough times over the years to know the risk.

Riku'd been leaning against the paopu tree, but after a time he comes and he sits down next to Kairi.

"Stop staring out like that," he says, teasingly. "You're reminding me of me."

"Is that a bad thing?" she asks, and waits so expectantly that he shoves lightly at her shoulder. She shoves back, laughing.

He lets her push him over -- Riku always is weak to when Kairi pushes him, after all - and drags her with him.

"Oh," she says. There's a startled, anticipatory edge to her voice. She's been waiting for this. He's been waiting too, he thinks, though it's never quite the same. But she knows that and he knows that and they both know.

He draws a slow breath in.

With Sora, when they kiss it's like a shock of need sent right to his groin until his protections fall away and he's bare and desperate.

When he kisses Kairi her lips are soft over his and it's more like gently drowning, he thinks; it's not desperate, it's not filling him with need but he feels a little like he could die like this.

Later, when he gets home -- hours later, after they'd finished kissing and kissing again, after she'd got that strange inward-turned look before smiling at him again, after Sora had shown up and the three of them had played on the beach with the timeless enjoyment of three people who didn't have to go anywhere -- he realizes Axel had been silent for almost all of that.

_I was sleeping._

"I didn't ask," Riku points out aloud.

***

"Man," Sora says, and dumps the sand from his shoes. "Today was awesome, huh?"

_It was pretty good._ Roxas is ghostly in front of him, not really there but just projected, and he kneels down and pokes at the sand starting to pile on the floor.

Sora tosses his jacket over a chair and pulls his shirt over his head. Muffled as he squirms out of it, he says, "You weren't doing much though."

_I played with the sandcastles..._

"Sandcastles," Sora says. "Pfft. I thought you liked the beach."

_What gave you that impression?_

Sora gets the shirt off and shakes his hair out. He looks down at Roxas and nudges a foot through him. "You're being kind of pissy today. What's with that?"

_It's nothing._

"Roxaaaas," Sora says, and flops down. Sand gets ground into the floorboards. He flops half through Roxas, and though there's nothing to have pressure against Roxas goes down under him nevertheless, fingers catching against the bare skin of Sora's back. "You can't hide things from me, man."

_I can too--_

"Just tell me, come on."

Roxas is silent and hesitant, and all at once he relaxes; Sora can feel the muscles unknot in his own shoulders as Roxas lets go of the tension. "I just don't think Riku likes me very much," Roxas says through Sora's mouth.

Sora raises his fingers to his own lips, then looks down at Roxas, thoughtful. "Nah," he says. "Riku's just got a weird way of showing it."

Roxas shakes his head. _There's history._

"Sure," Sora says. "We all have history. But you gotta learn to let that stuff go."

_I'm not the one holding onto it!_

Sora says, "You both hold on to way too much anyway. I'm going to go to to bed; were you going to -- uh, stuff tonight?"

' _Stuff_ ', as if Sora himself doesn't sneak off to roll around with Riku and sink flesh into flesh. Roxas says, "No, not tonight."

He's already back into Sora before Sora can respond, and Sora shrugs; yawns a bit, and puts the two of them to bed.

***

Riku's sleeping.

Axel pulls himself separate like he's doing something illicit, slides his form out and crawls across the bed. He sits on the edge, it not dipping beneath his weight and he looks back at Riku.

Riku still wears his bangs long to help cut the light from burning his eyes, and when he's sleeping on his back like this, they fall back from his cheeks, a rare occasion. With his cheekbones bare, he looks younger; the sharp fall of silver bangs tends to elongate his face. But under there he's still round-cheeked.

Honestly, Axel's not sure how old he was when he died, but though he and Riku are about a same height, and though the Axel-who-is-Axel is only a few years, sometimes he feels much older.

Other times--

He shivers away from that thought and turns away from the sight of Riku's soft pale cheek and instead looks towards the balcony. The moon is full out there tonight, a lover's moon to guide night visits with ease, to make one recognize another even in the depth of the darkness. It's much smaller than Axel expects; he's not used to worlds where he's around at night and notices the moon. Before, Kingdom Hearts always shone at the back of his mind, at the reminder of where home wasn't. It was a light that'd chase them through the dark. They were never fully creatures of darkness; not when the insides of their hoods were marked with a pale light that nobody else could see.

But that was then and this is now; the moon is a tiny moon for a tiny world, and hangs high overhead in the cool air.

Axel stretches the limits of the separation from his heart, and heads out through the closed balcony doors. He leans on the rail of the large round balcony, stares out towards Sora's low house that he can't see from here. Roxas isn't coming tonight.

After a moment, he swings his legs over the rail, and just sits on the edge. The breeze catches at his hair even like this and he runs one hand into it, tilts his face to feel it.

One thing he'll say for this, he thinks. He feels everything so strongly it's like it wants to undo him. This isn't a bad thing; he's been knit pretty tight for fear of coming apart.

He closes his eyes and he remembers:

 

 

 

He corners Roxas on the open air balcony above the prisoners' tower. Roxas has been there watching the empty night sky like he could drive something into being there with the fierceness of his gaze alone. Axel slips out of nothingness to land cat-silent behind him and starts to circle.

Roxas knows Axel's there from the moment he crosses into Roxas's line of sight -- if he didn't know sooner, that is. But he doesn't really respond; just a quick flickering of his eyes over, then back to the sky.

"What are you looking for?" Axel drawls, arm brushing Roxas as he circles him in too tight a path to really let Roxas move from his spot. "Nothing's up there yet."

"They say it'll show up over our city."

"They say a lot of things."

"You don't believe it," Roxas says.

Axel shrugs. He thinks he can feel Roxas's breath on his skin even through the coat. "I don't believe a lot of things."

Roxas's lips tighten irritably. "Xemnas doesn't promise things like that if he can't carry through."

"The Superior," Axel says, "will do what he can pull off, sure."

"Fine," Roxas says, and turns away. He walks out of Axel's orbit when Axel's on his other side. Axel follows in a near-glide behind him. "Go away."

"No," Axel says.

"Why not?"

"Because I feel like following you."

It's no answer but Roxas doesn't deny it either. Axel leaps.

Roxas goes down under him only because he's taking the time to draw his weapons. He rolls under Axel and Axel has the gorgeously disconcerting feeling of what it'd be like to actually have Roxas under him instead of over him. He doesn't press it, and because he doesn't press it, the pale Keyblade impacts him hard in the side.

Axel doesn't have ribs that crack but he can feel the hit echo through him. He oofs, rolls backwards in an arch of his spine that bends him nearly double as he rolls up. Roxas follows, Keyblades weaving music in the air as they reflect light between them and catching Axel in a pattern of bruises that'll leave him too soon for comfort. Axel fights back with fire and the whirring edges of his own weapons spinning around him, but Roxas is better than him.

So much better than him.

He ends up on his back with a cut open on his cheek and the dark Keyblade pinning his hood to the ground and Roxas straddling his chest with his knees and he grins up and catches Roxas's gaze.

"If I had a heart," Axel says. "I'd give it to you."

He likes to say stupid things sometimes to see if Roxas responds. He never does but there's always that empty echoing tension in the hollow of Axel's chest as he waits.

"There's only one thing you actually want," Roxas says scornfully and Axel closes his eyes.

 

 

\-- but that's the past and things are different now. Axel licks his palm; he'd closed his fingers around one of the vines on the trellis to see what it would have felt like for Roxas to bloody himself in his attempts to come to him. The blood there is salty and pulses with a rhythm like life. In the bed, Riku's fist is knotted in the bedsheets and blood seeps in there, faintly.

***

Riku dreams of light and the clash of weapon on weapon, of a demand to shut up, stop saying things you don't feel

_But I do feel them_

_Roxas, Roxas, god, Roxas--_

he dreams of the halo of light exploding behind that pale head over him and pushing Roxas's head out of the way to see the heart starting to form in the sky outside and for a moment it feels like maybe their actions did this but--

\-- That's impossible; there is nothing their actions can do to affect anything. They're just flesh on flesh pounding out a rhythm of proof of nothingness and there's no connection between them right now. There's hardly anything but a faint physical need that Riku wants to tear open.

So somewhere else someone's doing something that can get them something if they steal things piecemeal so that they can claim something for themselves.

Roxas gets angry as Riku stares up past him, or as close as Roxas ever gets to angry -- cold -- and his lips pull back off his teeth as he grabs Riku by his hair and slams his head into the floor. "Do you think I'm doing this because I like it?" Roxas hisses at Riku. "This is what you wanted, so pay attention."

 

 

Riku wakes with an erection and a throbbing headache and for a moment he doesn't know where he is or who he is or what the feeling around his heart is.

***

As Kairi brushes her hair before bed, she's humming to herself. _A dream is a wish your heart makes_ Naminé recognizes and smiles faintly.

Kairi's happy and she feels warm.

"You're in love," Naminé whispers. She leans forward, puts her hands to Kairi's shoulders. They glow where they touch.

Kairi looks up into the empty mirror and smiles. "That's true," she says, and the smile turns more beaming.

"Both of them?" Naminé asks.

"It's always been both of them," Kairi says. "More or less," she adds after a moment, embarrassed.

"More or less," Naminé says. "In different ways."

"You understand."

"Of course," Naminé says, and smiles her careful quiet smile. "I am you."

***

"Not today," Riku tells Sora on the phone.

"Huh?" Sora asks. "Something up?"

"Sorry," Riku says and hangs up. His first impulse is to go away; he doesn't have a gummi ship or anything, but he knows how to get messages out. That takes too long though and the uneasy feeling isn't going anywhere. Instead he tells his family that he's sick -- not that they care, really -- and stays up in his room.

_You're going to drive us both crazy, you know._

"Shut up," Riku says. He's not talking to Axel today, except when he can't help it.

Axel looks up from where he's sitting on the bed. His thin brows crease in something like pain and he fades.

***

"Why are you always so sure of yourself?" Roxas asks.

Kairi sits up abruptly, then blushes and covers her chest. Sora's hand is still curled between her legs -- Roxas's hand, that is -- where Sora had fallen asleep against her. "Um," she stammers. "I, I--"

Roxas flushes. "Sorry," he says. He sticks his hand behind his back.

"I don't feel very sure of myself right now," she says and laughs in embarrassment. "Were you talking to Naminé?"

"No," Roxas says. "Just you."

"Oh," she says. "Sorry, we don't... talk often, I guess."

"...I can go."

"No," she says, and leans forward. Her hair showers forward past her shoulders as she leans. "Don't. It's okay."

He nods once, briefly. "You just seem that way."

"I don't know how," she says. "I change my mind a lot, you know." She blushes. "Like, agreeing to stay, then going after them. I feel a little like I couldn't keep to my promise to be the girl who waits for them."

"They move too much," Roxas says, "to keep up with if you're passive."

For a moment Kairi's hair pales. "Yes," Naminé says. And then she's gone again, fled back inside and Kairi makes a soft, fond smile, folds a hand over her chest.

Roxas watches.

Kairi blinks at him again after a moment, then laughs a bit ruefully. "This is a little weird, isn't it?" she asks.

His cheeks, their flush only starting to vanish, darken again. "Um, yeah," he says. "A little."

She tugs the covers up. "But what b-brought this on?"

"I," Roxas ducks his head. "You're just. You know what you want, and it's like you don't have any regrets."

"I'm not sure I really can," she admits. "It's kind of -- those feelings just don't happen for me."

"Is that part of being a princess of heart too?" Roxas asks. He sounds sort of shocked.

"I guess so," she says slowly. "Some feelings, they just don't happen. I never get really angry, and I've never hated anyone..."

Roxas says, "That's sad."

"Is it? I don't know," she says. "It doesn't really bother me. I'm usually pretty happy, so... but, I guess, it's like... when you know what you want, why let that cling to your heart and drag you down? Either it'll work out, at which point there's really no reason to be upset, or it won't and you might as well accept it."

He nods slowly. He says, "I'm sick of the past."

"Huh?"

"It drags me down," he says. "I'm tired of regret. I just want to let it go and live again."

Kairi hesitates. She leans forward, puts her hand over Roxas's knee. "Is this about Axel?" she asks.

"What? No," Roxas says. "Well -- only by extension."

"What do you mean?"

_Riku_ , Naminé whispers.

"It's Riku," Roxas says, almost at the same time. His browse crease. "I don't know if he hates me or if he hates himself for me, but either way. I don't like it."

***

Normally Riku wouldn't have gone anywhere once he'd decided to stay in. But then Kairi shows up at the door, and is let up immediately, and she gives him that smile so bright that her eyes seem almost to close to protect herself from its brilliance.

He blinks at her slowly.

"Can I come in?"

Not going anywhere wasn't good enough, if she came to him. Protests dry up in his throat, though, and he holds his bedroom door open.

She walks in and looks around a little shyly, tucking some hair behind her ear. "Big room."

"...You've been in here before."

She grins. "Ah, you caught me," she says lightly, and goes over to sit on the bed.

All of a sudden Riku feels very awkward, like he doesn't know where to stand. He clears his throat, shuts his door firmly, and pulls out his desk chair, sitting on that.

"Are you okay?" Kairi asks.

"...Sure. Why?"

"Mm, Sora mentioned you didn't want to do anything today," she says.

Riku rolls his eyes skyward. "Sora worries too much," he says. "I can't do _everything_ with him."

"But you've always wanted to," Kairi says. It's the same sort of tone she'd use for pointing out that it's nice weather.

Riku glances aside. "Yeah, well--"

"Is it about Roxas?"

"...no." A pain starts up in his chest. He's done too much he can't make up for and sometimes it pisses him off, that he's set up his life to be a losing battle all the time already.

Kairi frowns. "Well, if you say so..."

Riku shrugs. It's okay to be the sort of person who'd do anything for someone, to take on sins so they can live, but the memory of it doesn't go away later. His heart is throbbing now, painful and crystalline in his chest. "It's just--"

Kairi tilts her head. "You can tell me," she says.

He shuts his lips tight.

A moment later Kairi's mouth opens and Naminé says, "Kairi, we did some terrible things for Sora's sake." Her voice is calm, even. "I don't mind it much, because I knew Roxas would become whole. But Riku..."

"Shut up," Riku says. It hurts sudden and hard, like his chest being ripped open, because she's the last person he imagined betraying him in this.

Kairi's eyes glance towards him quickly with one of Naminé's calm expressions. "I'm sorry," she says, in that faintly pained calm tone she tends to have. "But it's just that Riku's a good person."

***

He hates this, hates how his feelings are changing. He can blame Axel for most of it -- Axel who moved in with a heart full of feelings for Roxas, and it presses against his own inside and rubs and sets off things he never should have felt and breaks him down and he thinks he's going to scream or maybe worse, but that'll scare Kairi and he reaches inside as if he could grab Axel and shake--

***

Kairi blinks.

Riku has never actually run away from her before, so she tilts her head hesitantly at Axel.

Axel ducks his head a little, looks up at her. "Hi," he says. "...Kairi."

"Um," she says, delicately. "Riku and I were just--"

Riku's looking at her again. "--I just--"

"Riku?"

They're flickering back and forth as if they're not sure how to share the same space, and Riku's skin is rippling, layer of identity shifting back and forth. Kairi folds her hands firmly together because she can feel Naminé shaking under her skin.

Blindly she reaches out and grabs one.

***

_You talk to her_ , Riku argues, _why the hell do I have to deal with this thing for Roxas? You're the one who's guilty over Kairi, you're the one who hates having dragged her off by her wrist to be captured by Saix and have who know what happen to her--_

Approaching her had been the easiest and strangest thing in the world. Like he'd tuned everything out and there she was, and he hadn't exactly lied on the beach but he'd hated the truth enough to make it like a lie. They do have something in common, they're both in love and they're both idiots who wait and they're both idiots who will chase someone over the worlds if they can because sometimes waiting isn't good enough.

He'd stared down at her as if approaching something so completely foreign he couldn't comprehend it and maybe that's the worst part. He knows how she has to feel because of the way his own empty chest ached with recognition of similarities. It's not something he'd wanted to do. It's just something that he'd do.

There's nothing wrong with being someone who

_'s the sort of person who will do anything_

for someone. But she'd been caught up in that and all she'd wanted was to go on her own chase and if he'd won he'd have frustrated her needs. Axel's need to see Roxas. Her need to see Sora. Who the hell is he to choose but a man in love?

Fuck it, he's sorry, sure, but he'd do it again so how can he say it to her

_his_

face?

***

Kairi tugs, leans back hard with her grip on whichever one she'd managed to grab.

Riku falls on top of her.

There's a long moment of silence; his form is his own and he looks down at her with a familiar confused, angry, desperate expression. She swallows a bit uncertainly and touches his cheek.

"Riku?" she asks, soft.

He closes his eyes. "Sorry," he mutters, and then ducks his head and kisses her.

She's startled by the urgency in his kiss, opens her mouth into it because it's Riku, and Riku needs something and if she can give it, she will. She lets him mouth at her lower lip, lets him tangle a hand into her hair, lets him pull back just enough to kiss her throat hard enough to bruise her there. He's shaking and she's shaking too, helpless; it's never been like this with Sora, but Riku isn't Sora, and that's why he's _Riku_.

Kairi draws a deep breath, tries to stop her thoughts from whirling, unzips a pocket. "Here," she whispers and presses the packet into his hand.

It takes him a moment to realize what she's given him and then he blanches, starts to push back. "No," he says. "I don't, that's not," and she tugs at him again and kisses his slack mouth, kisses along his neck, draws another steadying breath and presses a hand to the front of his pants.

He groans helplessly and he folds then and unzips her, peels her out of the pink outer dress until she's only in the white slip dress beneath. For a moment he pulls back and looks at her strangely but she smiles back encouragingly and he nods, like he's accepting some sort of task.

Kairi giggles.

He blanches again. "Kairi..."

"Here," she says. "Don't look so nervous. Together," she adds, and helps him undress and rolls with him lazily and kisses him, undoes the packet, rolls it on him. The look on his face is relieved enough that she almost feels strange, a knot in her stomach.

"I don't want to hurt you," he says, which is funny because Sora comes back all marked up, but that's Riku all over.

She bites her lower lip. "I don't want to hurt you either," she says seriously and he laughs, and that makes it easier, makes it comfortable as he sinks down against her and lets her arrange them.

And after that movement and heat and sweat, the almost reverent pass of his hands over her breasts and she thinks he's scared and hopeful and

_Do you think he'll forgive me?_ Naminé whispers.

Kairi opens her mouth and whispers, "Yes," and then she's coming like a rising waterfall as she gasps, arching under Riku

Riku's eyes are huge and very young and like falling apart as he starts to shake, but the tremors are different this time, pouring from the inside out, not pounding inward, and she gasps and shivers around spikes of pleasure and clings close to the Riku she knows.

***

Sora kicks a shoe at the wall -- not because he's sulking but mostly because he's trying to find the angle he can kick it up onto the shelf behind him at.

"Think Riku'll want to hang out tomorrow again?"

_By hang out you mean..._

Sora scowls. "I mean hang out! Whatever else happens is whatever else happens."

_I don't know._

"Are you still worried about that?"

Roxas is silent a long moment. And then he yanks Sora's leg up and kicks. _There. Look. You're done._

Sora turns and peers as his shoe topples off the shelf again. "Huh. I think Riku will want to. Kairi's gone over to let him know we miss him, right?"

_Something like that_ Roxas says, and _I hope so anyway._

***

Kairi falls asleep shortly after, clearly not really meaning to. She wakes a little while later and stretches luxuriously. Her eyelids rise slowly, lashes fluttering.

Axel watches her wake.

He watches her realize he's there in bed with her, naked, one hand resting on her hip. She freezes, and that expression on her face is a familiar one mixed with embarrassment -- that vague suspicion from the beach when a stranger offered her the hopes of Sora.

"Axel?" she asks with some trepidation. She gives him a tentative smile.

_What do you say to a girl who held your heart in her hands, and gave it back to you along with everything you'd planned to take from her?_

Axel grins at her. A moment later, he forces it into a leer.

"You've grown up into a fine young woman," he says, and lets Riku take over again.

***

They kiss, and Riku tells Kairi there's something he has to do, and she smiles, and kisses his lips, and then his cheek, and tells him he should do it then.

They dress. When he turns back -- he couldn't quite help but turn away while dressing, at least, even if it was a bit late -- Naminé is watching him with an uneasy expression.

He tilts his head and gives her a grin and a two-fingered salute.

The smile she bursts into is bright and sweet, and she nods to him, head ducking forward.

"Thank you," she says, and it's Naminé so he really can't tell if it was for that right then, or for what he's planning to do.

***

Night's worn on and Sora's fallen asleep, but Roxas can't seem to. He paces Sora's narrow room, looks up at the toy ship and plays with the sails, ends up sitting with his knees pulled up against his chest and not thinking about much at all.

There's a tap on the window.

He blinks and looks over in time to see a few more pebbles hit.

"What," he begins, and opens the window.

Riku leans in. "I'm coming in."

"Ah," Roxas says. "Sora's sleeping, but I can trade places--"

Riku tilts his head. "I thought I was telling _you_ I'm coming in."

Roxas blinks. He nods slowly. "You were."

"Give me a hand up."

It's like a piece clicking into place. Not like it was when he joined with Sora; nothing of that magnitude. Roxas recognizes it a moment later as relief. Tidying up, putting things away. He leans out the open window, holds a hand down.

Riku takes it, grasps Roxas's hand firmly, gets his other arm over the windowsill, and lets Roxas pull him up.

When he's over the ledge he's Axel, and Roxas blinks, uncertain. He wasn't expecting much, he didn't know what he should be expecting -- but it's not this. Not Riku trading places here and now. Maybe some confrontation. Fighting. Getting it out.

"Axel?" he asks.

Axel grins.

"You didn't come last night," he says. "So we decided to come to you."


	4. [fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "(Un)complicated"

  


**(Un)complicated  
(or, Topping Roxas)**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html)  
OT6. Namine, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. YOU HEARD ME. Though this part's all the boys.  
Wordcount approx 5500  
Not safe for work! Post-game spoilers

Truth of the matter is, Axel really likes being on the bottom. It's not that he doesn't like the top position period -- he's had a fair amount of sex for a Nobody, and he likes it. Of course he _likes_ it.

But with Roxas it's different.

Of course, he's thought about doing it the other way, about pressing Roxas down and dragging pleasure from them both, deliberate and rough and watching the way Roxas protests -- it's Roxas, so he'll protest though he doesn't mean it, he could stop Axel in a second if he actually meant it. But the thought, though nice, isn't anything compared to the reality.

Roxas is light, of course, even now with Sora's solidity adding to him, but Axel likes the feel of his weight anyway. He likes the scrabbling, likes Roxas's hipbone pressing into his thigh as Roxas grabs at Axel to twist his arms out of the way and pin him completely down. He likes the angles of Roxas's face seen from below, the cast of his blue eyes into the dark shadow of his lashes, the feeling of Roxas blocking out the world around him.

He likes how relentless Roxas is, how Roxas will twist him this way and that and push in and fuck him hard and jostle pleasure into being and jostle his heart into hurting because _he wants me, he wants me, he wants me_ \--

It's absolutely undeniable, unable to be doubted. They're rough together always, really rough on each other, never bothering to go easy with hands or mouths or elbows or knees, never worrying about yanking at hair, at body-slamming to get someone to move. After Roxas has taken Axel he feels really fucking _taken_ , really blown-away and opened up, throbbing and vulnerable and stupidly ...happy.

Of course, since this whole dying-and-coming-back-and-having-a-heart-and-being-loved _thing_ there's been an additional part to it. Not just that weird feeling like he's going to come apart, like his heart is straining the limits of this body's chest, nah. Not just that.

It also has the effect of getting to Riku, but not so much that he'd actually _want to stop_. Riku bitches and moans about what Axel does to his body without permission, and yeah, given that Axel's pretty rough with it that'd make sense, only Riku never means it. And even if he can't always sit still after, he doesn't mind that _either_.

It's kind of hilarious.

All in all, Axel sees no reason to mess with a system that works.

***

Sora is sleepy and pliable and really kind of stupid. Fortunately, Riku thinks, he's cute when he's stupid.

"Mmmmn," Sora mutters. "Rikuuuu."

Riku grins at him. "Tired already, Sora?" he asks. They haven't even managed to get undressed yet. Getting Sora's pants open had been enough of a task.

"Nnngh--"

More leisurely now, he goes to work on Sora's top, peeling him out of the jacket, pushing his shirt up--

and then freezes.

"Hey, Sora," Riku says, carefully. "Where'd you get this?"

"Huh?"

Riku traces a fingertip around the bite mark. It reaaaaally doesn't look like something Kairi'd do. "This?"

"Oh, I didn't," Sora mumbles.

"Didn't you."

"Naw," Sora says, and yawns. "That was Roxas."

"Was it."

A moment later, Sora reconsiders. "Well, technically it's Axel's fault," he says. "But Roxas started it when he pinched Axel that hard."

Riku eyes the bruise. "Huh," he says, and bites the other one to make things fair.

***

Technically, he'd rather be doing this with Axel at the other end of his Keyblade, not with his arms crossed, leaning against a wall and glowering at nothing. But he has to work with what he has.

_...Oh man, you are so jealous._

"I am not. Jealous."

_You want in on me and Roxas that bad, huh?_

Riku's scowl deepened, almost etched into place on his face. "No." The word dripped frost. "I'm not interested in what you do with him. The fact that you use my body to do it is something that really pisses me off, but I know it's necessary. I accepted it'd happen. But even with that? Leave me out of that."

"Well, I try to," Axel's voice drawls through Riku's lips. "But you seem so insistent--"

"You marked Sora up," Riku says, seizing control over his voice again.

_....What?_

"When you bit Roxas," Riku says, his words coming out sharp-edged and brittle. "You marked Sora. Don't do that again."

_...I'll do whatever I want with Roxas, thanks,_ Axel says, but there's an edge to his voice. When Riku blinks he can see green eyes glittering at him with a sly interest.

He may, he has to admit, have made a fatal error by mentioning that. He grits his teeth and plows on. "I don't want to see you marking Sora up again."

_Don't be so stingy_ , Axel says. He sounds like he's trying to be cute.

"Sora's mine."

_And Kairi's._

"--Yes."

_And if he feels like belonging to someone else, guess what?_

"That still doesn't include you," Riku snaps.

It's almost too far. Axel is silent, and when he finally answers there's a pressure inside, as if Axel's contemplating pushing Riku in some way. _That's true._

"So be more careful with what Sora ends up with," Riku says. "And don't top Roxas."

_Generally I don't._

That's an overstatement; Axel _never_ tops. It's a pretty safe thing to ask for. Riku snorts. "I don't want Sora feeling that from _you_ for hours after."

He feels the grin spread inside.

_I thought_ , Axel murmurs with the impression of flashing white teeth, _that I told you I'd do whatever I wanted with Roxas._

***

"Hey, Roxas?"

"Mm?" Dawn wasn't that long ago, but due to a strange feeling of foreboding, both had woken early.

Sora flops over, elbows tucked under him, and nudges Roxas until Roxas grumbles sleepily and pushes himself out of Sora to look at him better. Sora always tends to prefer face-to-face interactions.

"What," Roxas mutters, and rubs at his eyes with his knuckles.

Sora rubs vaguely at his own chest and smarting nipples, and then says, "Remember when you told me that Axel was in love with you?"

"...Yes," Roxas says. It's not a conversation he's likely to forget.

"You think he _was_ in love with me?"

Roxas is silent a long moment. A sour look crosses his face.

And then he says, "I think if he were in love with you now, he'd be trying to pretend he wasn't."

"Oh," Sora says, relieved. "I haven't noticed anything, so I guess not, huh?"

"Something like that," Roxas says, eyes rolling. "Want to spar?"

That gets a bright grin from Sora. "Sure," Sora says. "I don't want to get rusty. Let's go to the beach to do that!"

***

"Hey baby," Axel says from where he's crouched on the windowsill.

Roxas gives him a look. "Not tonight."

"--Aww? Come on, Roxas," Axel wheedles, and hops down. "I want to."

"That's nice," Roxas says. "I'm tired."

He ducks a bit to take off his shoes, and Axel moves in, puts arms on either side of him, hands against the wall, leaning over. "I can make you feel better."

Roxas shakes his head. "I spent most of the day separate from Sora," he says. "I'm tired. I want to rest."

Run away into Sora's heart, he means, until he feels better. He's already in Sora's body but he's not resting in it. Axel leans in. "I want you."

Roxas ducks under his arm, sits on the bed. "At least let me sleep a little first."

"Roxas," Axel says. He follows, goes as if to sit beside Roxas, then leans, pressing him back into the bed. "I want this."

"You're so demanding," Roxas mutters.

"You don't have to do anything," Axel says. "I can do it this time."

Brows drawing down, Roxas says, "But--"

"Shh. I'll make you like it."

Roxas closes his eyes.

This is, perhaps, he thinks, unbearably incredible already. He runs his hands over Roxas's body, slowly, and pulls down on Roxas's zipper to bare skin.

All of a sudden he's not touching enough, and Roxas is so sleepy; best to hurry, huh? He tugs Roxas's fly down fast, reaches in, draws his hand over Roxas's cock.

"Nngh," Sora says, and opens his eyes.

Axel freezes like that, his heart in his throat or so it feels. There's a noise like distant screaming in his ears and Sora's cock is half-hard in his hand and every breath seems to set his own nerves on fire.

Those dazed familiar blue eyes look up. "Ax...el?" Sora mumbles sleepily, and then stretches, hips twitching, and Axel's jaw drops.

Riku takes advantage of Axel's complete shivering desperate shock to shove him aside. He manages to fish out a brighter smile by the time Sora shakes himself more fully awake.

"What're you saying, Sora?" Riku says. "It's me."

***

_You bastard, you little son of a--_

"I have mine," Riku tells him later, when Sora and Roxas are both too fast asleep for either to listen. "You stick to yours."

_Oh, I will. You'll see._ Axel promises. It's more of a threat.

***

"Hey, Roxas?"

_Yeah?_

"I've got um. A question."

Sora sounds tentative, uncertain -- even a bit nervous. Roxas bites down on his immediate sigh and brushes a comforting touch along Sora's soul, making him shiver.

"What is it?" Roxas asks instead. The instinctive desire to shut down and avoid whatever it was that Sora had taken issue with -- it is something that's lingering, he reminds himself, and not particularly real.

"It's about Axel," Sora says. Before Roxas can tense too much -- he doesn't really like Sora's questions about Axel; they tend to hit him hard in the heart -- Sora goes on, adding, "and Riku."

Roxas relaxes. A little. "What about it?"

Sora flops over onto his back and prods with a bare toe at the toy airplane hanging by his window. "Just... Is it really, you know, healthy? For them like this. Is it okay? They're not like you and me, or Namine and Kairi."

"They don't belong together," Roxas agrees. It's still weird to say, still weird to _feel_ , and the prideful part of him still tries to throw up a defence against the thought. Lately he tries to quash that part. That part's wrong; whether or not he initially disliked it, he's a part of Sora. Sora's the bigger part of him. Whichever. Two halves. He feels guilty and a bit shameful when he stomps that part down, but he also feels relieved, more peaceful. He visualizes linking hands with Sora; feels Sora's fingers twitch against the bedsheets.

"So is it bad?"

Roxas shrugs mentally, begins to trace patterns out on the bedsheets with Sora's fingers. He lets go of Sora's mouth, just snorts at him silently. _It's too late to worry about that anyway, isn't it?_

"Roxas!"

_Well, it is._ He tries to keep the defensiveness out of his voice. _Riku made that choice without asking anyone. It wasn't even Axel's choice; once his heart was freed and then put back into a body, it's not like the soul could really stay away, right?_

"You're sure?" Sora rolls over like he could look at Roxas; obligingly, Roxas flickers into transparent existence in front of him. "Axel didn't pick it at all?"

Roxas makes an uneasy gesture with a hand. _Pretty sure, anyway. I don't think he minds. I mean, he's alive and he's got a heart and he has what he wants, which is just about all you need to make Axel generally okay, I guess? But he didn't pick it. I mean, he was in the middle of a kind of important conversation with me when Riku sucked him in._ They both pretend they don't remember the pain in their heart with a sudden tangible stab. _He's kind of a jerk, but I don't think he'd leave in the middle of that willingly._ Roxas gives Sora an embarrassed smile.

Sora rubs his head. "Man, that just makes it more complicated," he complains. "What if Axel doesn't actually like being there?"

A head shake, quickly, to dissuade Sora of that. "Axel has his heart back, Sora," Roxas says, to hear the words aloud. _...You can't know what a difference that makes._

"Maybe I can sort of," Sora protests. Roxas disagrees silently, but there's a feeling suddenly like Sora's just moved closer to him, like they're pressing closer together in the spot where Roxas rests on the other side of his heart. "Maybe," Sora says again. "I mean. I know a lot of how you feel, you know."

_...I know._

They're silent a long moment as both waits for the other to bring it up. Roxas is kind of relieved when Sora's the brave one. "Hey, Roxas? Did anything weird happen last night?"

_...I was really tired. Sorry._

"I don't mind."

_You don't?_

Sora shifts. "...I don't like it? I guess maybe. But..." he hesitates. "It's like, I listen in on whatever you do already anyway so it's not shocking or anything?"

Roxas glares a bit. _You could try_ not _listening in._

"Roxaaaaaas."

_Fine, whatever._

"...Anyway," Sora says, "accidents don't happen that often, and Riku almost convinced me that it _was_ him. So it's easy enough to not let them know, right?"

_I guess._

"You think it's bad for Riku?"

_What, interrupting you and Axel about to--_

"NO! ...I mean, no," Sora hisses as he hears a curious call from downstairs. "Just, Axel. I mean yeah, he picked it. But Riku always makes all kinds of choices that're bad for him because he thinks it's the best choice for him and his friends. Like, he gets himself into trouble a lot."

Roxas notices that even Sora doesn't think Riku does it because Riku thinks it's the _good_ thing to do. He smiles a little despite himself. _It's too late now. The heart's in a body again. It's not coming out without either becoming Heartless or--_ he trails off but his mind is full of a jagged black and red Keyblade that he never saw. Sora feels a pang that he squashes before Roxas can start to squirm too hard. _Getting it out somehow._

"We could—"

_And you don't want to do that, Sora._

"Because Axel's heart won't have anywhere to go? I could—"

_That would just be weird,_ Roxas says firmly. _Besides, it's -- no. Not unless you want Axel to be incomplete again. Maybe worse._ Roxas doesn't want to think about what happens if someone who's still kept their Nobody identity loses their heart again. _Not unless you want Riku to be incomplete, and someone else as well._

Sora doesn't get it for a moment. And then his eyes go wide. "You think it'd make a Nobody for Riku?"

_He's too much like the Superior already,_ Roxas says. _Don't even think about trying to get either heart out of him._

"So if it is bad, what do we do?"

_We don't know it is bad, you know. Besides,_ Roxas says, and hesitates. _They probably just need to come to terms with each other better. I mean, it's easier for you and me--_ not that it's always been easy, neither of them says. _Because, I mean at first it was harder since I hadn't picked it myself. But later on, when I decided that this, right here, is where I want to be--_ A warmth is growing inside them and Roxas struggles to ignore it before it sweeps him away and makes him forget what he's trying to say. _When I submitted myself completely to you, we began to fit right. Jagged edges are hard to line up even when they came from the same parts, right? When they're not, they have to reshape to fit. Give them time._

Sora nods slowly, folds a hand over his chest because Roxas likes feeling his heartbeat through his palm. "I guess. But why do you say you've submitted yourself completely, huh?"

_Because--_

"There's still things that're just yours and just mine, right?" Sora says. "Or if not really, we kind of want them to be and get mad when they're not. Right?" Sora's thinking of fighting styles, moves he was proud of. He's thinking of the feeling he gets when he feels the sand under his feet, he's thinking of liking to sleep in until after noon. Which is weird, because they're nothing he's fought Roxas over, but maybe sometimes the deep-down uneasiness is worse than fighting.

Roxas thinks of other things. He nods after a moment, wry. Well, it's not like they fit perfectly yet either, just really well.

_Guess you're right_ , he says, and curls Sora's hand against his chest.

***

When Riku lies down to sleep the next night, Axel is ruthless in acquisition of his body. He feels Riku stir inside as he heaved himself to his feet again, and sends out a cool touch of darkness to ease him back into sleep.

He's finished dressing and started to head out when he hears the trellis beside the balcony rattle and scrape. A grin crosses his face despite himself and he goes over, plants his elbows on the rail, and watches Roxas pull himself up hand over hand, scraping himself on the roses.

"I missed you too, baby," Axel murmurs.

Roxas jumps, almost lets go of the trellis, then glares up at Axel vaguely. He holds out a hand demandingly. "Don't just watch me."

"I like watching you," Axel says, but he takes Roxas's hand and hauls.

For a moment Roxas is hanging off the balcony, Axel's grip on him the only thing holding him up, the strain between their arms and the tight grip of their hands on each other. And then Roxas gets a foot up onto the balcony and pushes as Axel pulls and he stumbles over, into Axel's arms.

"Hey," Axel whispers into Roxas's hair.

Roxas tilts his face up, then shoves a little. "Room," he says.

Axel grins at him, drops his hand to take Roxas's, leads him in. The bed's unmade; he drops into it and drags Roxas down with him.

Roxas resists faintly.

"Whaaat," Axel whispers. "What?"

"You've got a weird look on your face," Roxas says. "What're you planning?"

For a moment the truth rolls against Axel's lips. As it passes through the knife's edge of his smile it parts and curls. "Nothing much, I guess? Just. You want to try something different?"

"Different?" Roxas asks, and Axel pulls.

As Roxas tumbles down against him Axel feels Riku wake up, grope around groggily inside him as if looking for the alarm that woke him, and then hears Riku's mute cry of -- annoyance, actually.

Riku doesn't like being bested. Axel knows; they're enough alike in that. Axel rolls over onto Roxas, feeling him freeze underneath him, and grins a bit. Axel doesn't like acquiescing either, and Riku's got no right to try to dictate what he does with Roxas.

And if Sora feels it too, then and after the fact -- well, that's ...

Too bad for Riku, Axel thinks firmly instead of anything more dangerous. Roxas is trapped under him and while Axel may prefer the feeling of Roxas forcing demands on Axel's body, Axel thinks this is good too. He can feel every one of the too-quick breaths Roxas is sucking in; can feel the pressure of Roxas's body as Roxas shifts under him. Can feel the slow, shuddering relaxation of Roxas's muscles under him, like surrender.

The feelings that rush over him come too fast and hard for him to put into words. He isn't even able to identify more than the tail ends of each -- surprise, relief, something like realization. Desire slamming into him so hard he has to duck and bite Roxas's neck then, suck on the skin. He can't chase his thoughts from the circles they're in.

"I love you," he rasps. "Roxas. I--"

Roxas's arms lift slowly around Axel, tangle in the back of his hair. "Yeah," Roxas manages. "I. Axel."

Axel bites again, grinds the skin between his teeth, jerks his hips down. Sora's pyjamas are red and don't suit Roxas at all but make him look pale and fragile and Axel shoves a hand up under the top, dragging his hand hard along Roxas's lean but muscled chest, catches at a nipple and tweaks it hard.

Roxas yelps.

Smothering a grin into Roxas's skin is less relaxed than he'd like it to be; it's because he can't lift his head to grin at Roxas, not when the scent of Roxas's neck, the feel of it is right there against his mouth. He's sucking great gasps of air now himself, right against Roxas's skin, and drops his hand fast, slides it under Sora's waistband, cradles Roxas's hardening cock with a heated palm. "Fuck," Axel swears, his tone almost reverent. "Fuck, I--"

Twitching up against him, Roxas squirms just enough to reach over to the bedside table and pull out the tube of lube Riku'd stolen from the pharmacy on the main island. It's half-empty and Axel can only remember using it with Roxas a handful of times. But it's not like Roxas really does that often. Axel thinks. He tries to think how often Sora has but he can't really--

"Stop thinking," Roxas says, and Axel takes the tube. It doesn't matter, he decides finally, and barely slicks his fingers before dropping them back into the pyjama pants. Oil stains them and Roxas hisses a curse which does more to turn Axel on than discourage him, and then Roxas is squirming, kicking his pantlegs down and off, arching a bit.

Axel tries to say something, swear or -- something, but he can't seem to manage it when Roxas takes his hand and directs it down and in, pressing roughly with his hips even as he forces Axel's fingers in. He's shaking, his mouth is a bit open, there's a low noise in his throat and -- Axel doesn't have any control at all at the moment and doesn't need it with Roxas sliding his fingers in slick and hot an smooth until Axel's curled knuckles beside those fingers press hard into his flesh. Even then Roxas pushes a moment more, mouth open and breath laboured, like he's not sure.

"Fuck," Axel manages finally, thin. He's done this before, other Nobodies, other people, it's always good, but this is Roxas pulling him inside, this is Roxas flexing around him as his body spasms against unfamiliarity, this is Roxas whose pulse he can feel from the inside out.

He's coming undone, he thinks distantly, his eyes wide, and he couldn't stop it if he tried, wouldn't want to try, it'd be okay to completely unravel, his heart feels like it's squeezing and expanding at once and--

Riku takes ruthless advantage and shoves him aside.

***

He feels horrible, a little sick, but he doesn't think he could have stopped himself if he'd tried; not with Sora on the line. A bet for Sora, what Sora'd feel, what Sora'd walk away with. He's shuddering and aroused and his stomach is churning and he can feel Roxas flexing around him, feel each sharp breath Roxas is drawing in.

Roxas's grip on Riku's hand doesn't falter. His hips are twitching almost despite himself, and Riku thinks _Hell_. This isn't something he should want. His chest hurts as if he's out of air. This isn't something he should--

"Please," Roxas says, low and hoarse and meeting Riku's eyes, still moving like Axel's with him. "Please. Give him back."

It hits the centre of his chest like a blow and he opens his mouth as if to speak, he stares inwards where Axel is shuddering and desperate and then he grits his teeth and closes his eyes.

He's never been good at surrender, so it's not particularly graceful as he falls backwards and shoves Axel forward.

***

Axel gasps for air like he's broken through the surface of water and he can't catch his breath, doesn't have time because Roxas is kissing him.

"Come on," Roxas says, low. It's like he's inviting Axel to fight, he's usually used it in that tone, but he's dragged Axel down against him hard.

Axel shivers, doesn't thank _anyone_ , and drags his free hand down Roxas's thighs. Roxas's shirt is pushed up and twisted and Axel can see the flush on one bruised nipple where he'd pinched. His fingers twitch.

Roxas's full lips part and his brows draw down like he's frowning. "Nngh..."

"Want you," Axel breathes.

Roxas shakes his head fiercely, but it's not a denial. "Don't wait," he mutters. "Don't, just -- come on," he says, and drags at Axel's hips.

Axel's never really been good at saying no to Roxas and never really wanted to be. Right now he can't see why he'd try. Roxas's bruising grip on his wrist lets up and Axel shivers, twists his fingers one more time against that smooth silken heat and tugs his fingers out, slow enough to feel the stretch of Roxas's body cling to his fingers until they're out.

And at that time Roxas shakes himself, like he's fighting off a chill or an empty feeling and he arches, he squirms, he gets a leg up around Axel's hips.

It's not the best position in the world but it's Roxas and it's not the worst. He doesn't warn Roxas that it'll hurt; he's never cared. Not really. Roxas either, and maybe it doesn't hurt at all because Roxas's lips just part again as Axel presses in at the awkward downward angle, and he lets out a heavy sigh a moment later.

Axel remembers the heat of a roaring fire and swallows around the clenching inside him. "Roxas, Roxas," he mutters. "So good, you're so--"

Almost despite himself, Roxas's lips twist into a kind of embarrassed smile. "Idiot," he mumbles, and arches hard, shifting up off the bed.

The angle's better, all at once, a hell of a lot better, and Axel doesn't even try to fight it. He snaps his teeth together inside his grin and moves, knees digging hard into the mattress, in and forward and up as his hands dig bruises into Roxas's hips.

Roxas leans back and takes it and moves into it as best as he can, his body a strained arch from shaking thighs up. His shoulders roll against the bed, his head is tilted so he can watch Axel through bright, blue eyes.

He's staring hard and even though his gaze is blurring, even though sweat is trickling down into his eyes, Axel stares back.

***

Roxas's thigh digs hard into Axel's side, his other foot pressed against the bed, dragging bedsheets down whenever it slips. He can hear his own breath in the air, ragged stuttering cries, and digs his blunted fingernails into Axel's back, as if he can hold on that way.

He's so close, so close, desperately close; Axel's not, but that's fine. It's okay, he thinks hazily, if he lets go, lets himself come, and he's not sure how much of that's him and how much of that's Sora watching and helpfully pointing out that _you're having fun, right? So do what feels good--_

And it does, he thinks desperate and aching, and he digs his nails in harder, grits his teeth, and despite everything he hits the edge hard, head jerking back almost convulsively as he shoves back onto Axel's cock roughly, cries out and grind into the throbbingly sharp pleasure ripping through him. It lets him go slowly and he sinks back, sweaty and boneless as Axel curses over him and moves and moves, and he thinks Axel is close.

It feels good like this, he thinks wistfully. He wants to stay here, like this, spent and tired and not wanting to move, limbs limp and Axel rocking fast and brutally hard into his body. He traces a fingertip against the wrinkles in the bedsheets, watching Axel's tense face screwed up with pleasure and shivers at the aftershocks.

And then he closes his eyes and reaches inside.

_\--Huh?_

"I'm sorry," he says aloud.

***

Axel catches his breath at the apology, and a moment later the body under his squirms and he stares down, blinks away the blurring in the vision, blinks away the haziness and--

"A-Axel..." and the voice is hoarse and spent and content and kind of shocked.

Axel bites out a high, sharp curse and grabs Sora's hips hard, driving himself in and comes a moment later with such a brilliant sudden pressure it's like he's combusting and he can't breathe and he can't think and he can't do anything but burn up.

***

_No!_ and _Yes..._ and _I'm sorry._ and

_...I-it's okay._

***

Axel passes out. He doesn't mean to, and later he's not sure if it was because of the completely overwhelming way climax had hit him or if it was the blinding whiteness of Riku's own shock at the last moment. But he passes out, and when he wakes up, it's Roxas again, like he was there all along, like he can take it back, make Axel believe it.

His mouth is dry. Axel swallows, finds his limbs drained and hard to move. He lifts a hand anyway, touches it to Roxas's cheek.

Roxas blinks sleepy eyes open. "...Axel."

"Roxas."

Roxas rolls over, but he doesn't move away; he squirms closer, rather, tucks his body into the curve of Axel's and mumbles, low and husky from what must be sleep, "I do love you, idiot."

***

Riku can't seem to place his feelings on the matter, not throughout the next day. Not with the next night upcoming. He sways between outrage and acceptance and something almost like approval. He's pretty sure he wants again to run off to Disney Castle and just spend a few days or weeks or months talking with Mickey, maybe help the worlds out. Only that's a bit more difficult when he'd be bringing one of his concerns with him.

In the end, a symbolic gesture is all he can do when night falls. When he drags the blankets down, away from his room, into the rec room a few doors down, and flops down there, he feels Axel's teeth grin at him from inside.

_What do you think you're doing?_

"You're sleeping on the couch."

_What, together?_

"Seems fair," Riku says. Later that night he hears bare feet padding down the hall and moments later Sora, in the doorway, gives him an annoyed look with one eye narrowed and his lips all pursed up. He shrugs back, like _what can you do?_

Sora pads over, tries to shove Riku over, and when there isn't room he just flops down on him instead, driving the air out of his lungs.

Riku doesn't need to be wary; Axel stays quiet, glittering eyes in the back of his heart watching the two of them together.

***

"I don't mind," Sora reassures him again, later. "It's okay."

_It was kind of -- I didn't really plan it, I just--_

Sora shrugs, rubs the back of his head. "I mean," he said. "It's not like I wasn't there anyway. Just--" He feels Roxas's shame and reaches out for it, grabbing and trying to tear it free like ripping a toy from Roxas's hands. He ponders it himself a moment then discards it. "I mean it!"

_...Yeah._

No idea why that worked, but Roxas seems happier now, more genuinely relieved. On his own face, Sora can feel his eyebrows twisted upwards with self-depreciating hope. "I just don't get why," Sora says.

_No?_

"Yeah? I mean. You like him. And it's not like you were totally okay with it, so why--"

And a feeling like Roxas shoving him back, putting a hand over his mouth to shut him up. Ghostly and distant, a pointed chin coming to rest against his shoulder.

_Surrender_ , Roxas says. And, _...I wanted to try it._

"Huh?"

"It's okay now," Roxas says aloud, and Sora feels his lips smile.

"Idiots. Go to sleep," Riku says, and hits him lightly upside the head.


	5. [fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "Day"

  


**Day**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html), [(Un)complicated](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588585.html).  
OT6. Namine, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. Indeed. Though this part's mostly the girls. To make up for yesterday or osmething. XD  
Wordcount approx 5000  
Not safe for work! Post-game spoilers

  
Naminé approaches Axel like a ghost on the wind, like a scrap of cloth caught and torn from the line. Axel’s sitting on the paopu tree, smelling and tasting the salt air off the water; he cuts off his conversation with his internal Riku abruptly and glances at her out of the corner of one bright eye.

She hesitates, halfway across the bridge leading to that last outcropping of island before their world ends, and then she hurries over after all, her steps quick like a beetle scurrying over open ground. Axel’s face splits into a grin and he shifts over a bit, patting the tree beside himself invitingly.

_Be nice to her_ , Riku warns idly.

Axel shrugs at him, more a roll of his shoulders than anything else. "Aren’t I always?" he breathes. He ignores Riku’s irritable response as Naminé finishes approaching and looks up at him uncertainly. "You coming up?" he asks.

Naminé tilts her head slightly, and then reaches up and puts her hands on the tree. She’s been gaining height recently, but she’s still a bit shorter than it. Her hands are very white, but her fingers curl against the bark and then she’s shoving with her thin arms, sliding herself up. It takes a moment, and she yelps faintly as she starts to slip, her dress riding up a bit -- Axel snorts and looks away with mock modesty as Riku snaps at him; like Naminé’d care -- and then she’s got her belly over the curve of the tree and that’s enough leverage to get a knee up there. And then she’s up, her hands flaked with tree bark and one knee very slightly scraped, not even enough to bleed, and she twists around to sit next to Axel, legs hanging.

He looks back at her. "Comfy?"

"It’s a good view up here," she answers indirectly, and stares out across the water intently for a moment. Axel watches her with his head tilted, wondering, briefly, how long Kairi’d been doing the same before he’d shown up to try to get her. After a moment Naminé tears her eyes away from the distant illusion of horizon and focuses them past Axel instead, to the fruit hanging on the branch. Her lips twitch up into a smile.

"Want one?"

"From you?" she asks. It’s not a retort, really. Just inquiry.

Axel considers that. "Nah," he says, and grins again. He leans back, planting his hands against the tree’s trunk to support himself. "You can get one yourself, if you want it."

She doesn’t lean over him, doesn’t reach past, just looks up at him. "I don’t need one," she says, and smiles again.

"Guess not," Axel says. "You’ve already been connected to someone’s fate, huh?"

"Yes," she says. Her smile increases in intensity for a moment before fading again.

They sit in silence for a while. And then Axel says, "Don’t often see you out on your own."

"I’m not on my own."

He snorts. "You know what I mean. In control."

Naminé says, almost playful, "Like you can talk."

It’s lack of experience, Axel decides after a few seconds, that made him take so long to recognize the voice in Naminé’s mouth. "Morning to you too, Kairi" he says, instead of answering. He and Riku aren’t like the others; they don’t share one flesh like they’re part of the same thing, their hearts bump together and set off chain reactions of memories that don’t belong to two halves of the same whole, there’s nothing about them of a person and his negative image. The only thing they really share is the same space of existence at the same time, and that isn’t shared with anything like natural ease. They’ve been working on it; lately Riku’s seemed to realize that confining Axel so much is just contributing to their joint exhaustion and irritability. It’s not easy; Riku hates submission and though Axel doesn’t like it, he’s better at it, and it’s easy sometimes for Riku to shove him around.

But whether or not they work on it is nobody else’s business. He shrugs at Naminé as Kairi fades from her face again.

Naminé says, "I don’t need to be."

It takes Axel a moment to trace that back to what she’s answering. "Don’t need to be out, huh? That’s normal, I guess."

"I’m very comfortable," Naminé says. "I think I’d fade, if I could." Her voice comes out soft, and she splays one hand to her chest. "Not into darkness, as I’d always thought I must, but into--"

"Light?"

"Kairi," she says, and gives him a small smile.

"Close enough, huh."

Her smile's a little strange. "Something like that," she agrees.

Axel glances at her out of the corner of his eye again. Where it might have come naturally once, this time it takes effort to fight down his natural revulsion to the thought. Not for her -- if it worked for her, fine, whatever. But the thought of Roxas's features, individualities fading until there was nothing but Sora puts a chill in his stomach and stiffens his shoulders. Sora's ... important to him, whatever, but he already came way too close to losing Roxas to that the once.

"We're very different, Roxas and I," Naminé says, as if she's reading his thoughts. Maybe she is.

_Maybe you're just really obvious,_ Riku suggests and Axel shrugs again. It doesn't matter now if he's obvious, which is kind of a nice change. "Sure," Axel says.

Naminé hesitates, and swings her legs a little. Almost loses a sandal into the ocean. Would she go after it? Axel wonders. Expect him to? Watch it drift off to be lost?

_Wouldn't have to. I'd get it for her. It's just a little water._

Naminé says, "Axel... what was it like?"

"Huh?"

"Dying," Naminé says.

Axel stares at her for a long moment through narrowed eyes. She looks uneasy, even unhappy, as much as Naminé gets these days; Axel remembers how, back in the Castle, she'd always been afraid and unhappy. Little lost bird fallen from the nest, scented with darkness so nobody'd come back for it. Even then, she'd been enough like them not to want to die. Afraid to be alone, afraid to die, afraid of what might come after. If she'd been cruel or ruthless -- and she can still be cruel and ruthless, Axel bets; despite her uniquely biased view on the matter, Larxene's right that under that pretty face she can do some horrible things -- it was pretty much all to avoid those fates. It's something Axel understands in her, in his way, but he's pretty sure he doesn't understand her well at all.

"Tch," he says. "Why do you want to know?"

She hesitates, tucks her hands tightly together in her lap. "I just do," she says. "I want to know what they suffered. I want to know what I didn't."

"The urge to know's always been a dangerous thing with our people," Axel points out, drawling it. "You sure you want to risk it?"

Naminé ponders the question with a greater seriousness than it maybe deserves. "I don't think I'm that much like the people curiousity put in danger," she says. She smiles again, and puts a hand to her chest. "I'm not interested in staring into the darkness to see what stares back."

"With little yellow eyes, yeah?" Axel says. "Tch. Well."

Naminé says, "You don't want to answer?"

Axel shrugs, tilts his head up and stares at the endless blue sky for a moment before he drops his chin again to look at her. "Well, it hurt."

"Being dead?"

He waves a finger in a circle in the air, expression sarcastically flat. "Nah, that was pretty much numb. Dying."

"...Mm," she says, hands clutched to her chest. She looks down.

"I mean, I expected that," he said, and then added thoughtfully, "and it's not like I hadn't been in pain for a while anyway. You probably know from Kairi what Saix did when he caught up to me."

She nods briefly, brows creasing. Axel thinks maybe she's upset by the thought. It's a bit weird to realize, because he couldn't care less, actually. It had been a failure, and that was the worst part of it. Being tossed around like a rag doll had been the least part of it, though it had made it difficult to run after Sora in the space between the paths. And it had hurt in a way he couldn't heal without a long, long time to curl up and not move, and he hadn't had that luxury.

You really can get used to anything, including pain.

"When I actually did that thing," Axel says, "it was pretty much the easiest part." He's not that far off from an Assassin, after all, and after they're hurt a certain amount there's only amount of time before they're willing to die now in the hopes of getting what they need to done. Running into them and catching fire had been almost freeing, in a numbing way. Hurt, sure, hurt like bits of his being were flaking off, but hey.

Sora'd been impressed.

"So, it was okay?" Naminé asks. She sounds surprised.

"Okay?" Axel asks. He closes his eyes. Can't shake the memory of it, of the realization that that was it, it was over. No more Roxas. All the emotions he'd never been able to feel properly welling up in him. Needing to be said, to be heard by someone, to be made real. Burning afterimages of his life into Sora, so he won't just disappear. _I liked him_ and _He was the only one_ and even that last terrible confession which had ached in him harder than the rest because -- maybe he's got used to losing Roxas now, but he's not used to the feeling like he's betrayed him for someone else. Torn between trying to say everything now and losing enough strength that he can't get Sora out. The pain of loss. It had been stronger than he'd known any feelings could be. Trying to keep his voice even anyway because what was the point? What was the _point_? Feeling it distort him anyway, feeling the pain creasing his brows and drawing his lips back in a smile that isn't, and then -- no, business, gotta do what he must, and throwing the last of himself out to make Sora a way out.

Sora stayed with him until the end. Axel's not really recovered from that. Even with Kairi on the line, Sora stayed until the last of his consciousness was torn into nothingness. Axel remembers that, the fading trailing off until he can't see or hear and Sora still crouching beside him, and there when Axel stopped.

\--Riku didn't know any of that, Axel realizes a moment later when the stillness inside him is nearly overwhelming. The moment he thinks of Riku again, there's movement like a breath being drawn in and then a squeeze to his shoulder, silently.

Axel looks back at Naminé. He'd shifted to staring at the middle distance at some point. "Anyway," he says. "I digress. The actual death part wasn't anything."

"...Ah?"

"I mean that," he says. "It's the death of will. A Nobody's death is losing the ability to concentrate on holding himself together. I was snuffed out. There was nothing there."

"You remember that?"

He shrugs. "When the group of you got together to drag me in that day, it pulled me back together enough to fight to be, just enough. Even then I still wasn't anything, but you made something out of nothing." His lips twitch into an unpleasant smile. "So yeah, I remember the blankness of not thinking, not caring, not trying -- not living." He shrugs. "I don't recommend it, really."

She nods. "Are you glad?"

"Huh?"

"To be back?"

"I've got my heart," Axel says. "I exist. I'm where I want to be. Can you even doubt it, Naminé?"

***

_Sometimes,_ Naminé tells Kairi, _I'm not sure I know much at all._

"I know what you mean," Kairi says. She's playing with Naminé's hair casually, even if her fingers pass through it and into Naminé's head more often than not. It's soft, and she buries her face in it to smell the scent of rosemary that hangs around her.

_You do?_

"Sort of," Kairi says. "They're always ahead of us, aren't they?"

_Mm..._

"It feels that way, sometimes," Kairi says. "That wherever I go, they've been first and I have to run to catch up or I'll fall behind."

_They wouldn't leave you._

"Not in here," Kairi says, and puts a hand to her chest. "But they're always busy living right now, and they go off and do their own things. I don't mind--"

_I know._

Kairi smiles. "Yeah," she says, and drops against Naminé and half through her. "I don't mind chasing them, but it's a little daunting sometimes."

_Yes,_ Naminé agrees. And then, tentatively, _But what if they're actually the ones who are slow, and we've gone on ahead?_

"Well," Kairi says. She considers it. "I guess we still have to chase them instead, and drag them up with us. I don't want to not be at their side."

***

Sora kisses Kairi with boundless enthusiasm and Naminé shivers into his touch, feels Kairi's enthusiastic kiss back, the way they tangle together warmly.

To Naminé's vision, they're surrounded by chains which don't bind them but connect them. Where their skin touches, there's a burst of light and the emergence of chains hovering ghostlike around them, close and soft.

It's warm and comforting, being here at the centre of a web that shivers through her being, passes through her before coming out the other side. She is in love with Sora; she thinks distantly, and couldn't be anything with Sora but in love with him. He's too much both to the part of her that's Kairi and the part of her that's Naminé. Their hearts are drawn together. Their bodies are drawn together. As Kairi she is whole, fully and completely; they have their own thoughts, their own twists of personality, but it is so completely overlapped that Naminé's long since lost sight of any boundary, if any ever existed. She likes that, likes how at the shivering point of contact in that brilliant heart they're something bright and beautiful.

_Perhaps I was so much shadow because Kairi cast so much light,_ she thinks a little distantly.

And then Sora enters them and they arch, both because of the sudden physical impact -- pressure inside, stretching, the slide of body around body -- and because of the emotional impact. Kairi is gasping, and her hands grasp at Sora's shoulders roughly. Naminé can feel the smoothness of Sora's skin, the glide of muscle under there built up from practice against Riku, built up from the Keyblade, built up from everything Sora does as part of Sora.

As Kairi holds tight to his back, Naminé reaches out and grasps the chains hanging all around them, slides her fingers in and holds on to keep herself steady as Sora and Kairi moves her.

***

Kairi and Sora fall asleep together after. Naminé lets them slip deep into sleep, and then she leans herself up on her elbow, hair falling down around her bare skin, as she props herself up on an elbow and watches Sora sleep.

A rattling at the window draws her attention. She heads there, unselfconscious about her body, and opens the window.

Riku, below, looks up at her and his eyes widen as his cheeks go red. "Oh," he says. "I uh --"

"Riku," she says. And she puts a finger to her lips, smiling, then beckons him to come up.

He hesitates, and she knows why -- he always avoids coming to Sora at times when Kairi is there, and always avoids coming to Kairi when Sora is there. It's as though he thinks they aren't already sharing each other, but Riku is Riku and will always have his quirks about them. Perhaps that too will change with time, Naminé thinks.

After a long moment, however, he nods and jumps up, grabbing the window and swinging himself in. He lands near silently, and then straightens.

Naminé folds her hands together in front of herself, and silently heads back to the bed. "Riku," she says again, soft. "Look."

He comes to her side, his cheeks still red, and looks down.

Sora's curled peacefully on his side. He looks spent and content, soft and happy, his round cheek bared, head tilted back, mouth a little parted. As Riku watches him, Naminé curls back down on the bed again, because while she'd taken the warmth of Kairi's body away from him, he'd reached a hand out to that spot. She props herself up again, though, and watches.

"Heh," Riku says after a moment.

"This is familiar, isn't it?" Naminé asks, softly, smiling.

"It is," Riku says. "Except better."

"Mm. Because he's going to wake up," she suggests.

"Yeah," Riku says. "Because he's going to wake up.

Naminé looks up at him and he meets her gaze and grins. She feels her warm smile burst out over her face without really intending to; the feel of it warms her from the inside like the sun's rays shattering the cloud cover. Inside her, her heart flutters, pulses with crystalline heat and warmth. She reaches out, touches her fingers to what must look like the air between him and Sora, him and Kairi -- herself -- and she traces her fingers along the chains -- so many chains, invisible and thin and brilliant and stronger than anything else about him -- and feels the way the links warm to her touch.

"I should go," Riku says after a long moment, but he's still grinning, like something's shifted slightly, some uncertainty settled back into the confidence of fact. "Looks like they're busy."

It doesn't feel like an imposition at all to reach out and curl her fingers around his warm wrist. "Stay," she urges. "When Sora's sleeping, it should be you and I here to watch over him, shouldn't it?"

"You don't think they'll mind?"

Naminé draws Riku down with surprising strength; it's like this is a part of herself she never knew and as her heart beats hard she thinks it comes, possibly, from Naminé. When Riku is sitting next to her, she leans slightly, just rests her head against his shoulder. They're sitting in similar, almost mirrored poses, him with one knee tucked up so he can sit on the edge of the bed but still watch Sora in it; her with both knees up, one leg curled beside her, the other tucked underneath. Pale and similar, she thinks, if back then Sora saw them as he dreamed of nothing at all, he must have thought they were ghosts, not truth at all.

"They could never mind you," Naminé says. Her hand covers Riku's on the bed. Riku's hand under hers doesn't twist up to touch but he doesn't move it away.

Between them, there's his warmth seeping into her where her cheek rests on his shoulder. Her warmth seeping into him. The borders all overlap, she thinks softly, they all run into each other in ways that she'd never anticipated as possible when she'd been alone. She curls her fingers against Riku's and doesn't mind his stillness. She watches Sora sleep, and thinks he's dreaming of something pleasant.

"Riku," she says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind that time? When Sora was asleep, and we were waiting for him." She had always thought he must have. He had waited all that time for Sora, waited to bring Sora back so he could take Sora back to Kairi, could chide him for disobeying his last promise to Riku's heart.(Sora, she thinks, warmly, has never been good at keeping the promises he makes). So that at long last, it could be the three of them. She knows Riku was miserable when Sora wouldn't wake up, when he remained trapped in nothing, with the links of his memory refusing to bind together again. Riku's world is very small, she thinks, quietly. Smaller than Destiny Islands; the width of two persons' hearts. It has been growing a heart at a time as he connects to more people, but that's a new development. No wonder he has always wanted more, she thinks. No wonder he's always wanted to escape.

It must have been lonely. And because of the strength of the connections he had, he must never have known it. She aches at the thought.

He is watching her now. "I didn't mind it," he says, and doesn't bother to explain, but she smiles anyway, and looks down as if shy; she is actually watching the double chain running between their chests, one chain strong and old, one newer and softer and made of a material that looks to her vision almost like glass. It's filled with images of Sora in its transparency, sleeping. Like it's made of the same material that the incubators are, with which she can remake what she destroys.

It throbs warmly between them and she closes her eyes. Her own mouth is so unused to smiling, but Kairi's is used to it, so it doesn't hurt, how often she finds a smile on her face now.

She says, "I didn't mind it either."

***

Sometimes she watches Roxas from a distance. Through Kairi's eyes, now and then; Kairi and Roxas get along surprisingly well when they're both interacting at the same time, though it's not that often. From their own space as well. Sora is usually the dominant one, the one out and about, just as Kairi is for Naminé. But Roxas is a demanding person, and he takes his own space when it's not offered to him.

(Not that Sora would withhold anything like that, Naminé thinks, if he knew it was in demand, but Sora's never been good at seeing what's inside him. He missed Kairi herself there for an age.)

So sometimes Roxas is the one controlling Sora's body, with Sora in the back, often asleep. He sneaks out at night a lot, when Naminé and Kairi are in bed, and she cannot follow him then. But sometimes she'll see him walking down to the beach, and Kairi'll offer up her space one way or the other, and she'll follow him.

It's habit, perhaps, or a distant demand that she can't quite put her finger on. But when he looks up and catches her watching from the door of the shack at the island, he waves her over.

"Hey," he says and smiles as she walks up.

It makes something inside her clench and release. How she'd wanted that, she thinks, back when she was working for DiZ. She'd been aware at the time, though distantly, that his personality she was observing in the program was a construct DiZ had made to trick him into believing himself to be a normal boy. But she'd wanted that; hadn't they all wanted that, to develop normal feelings so that they might be indistinguishable from people who were whole?

That program has become part of Roxas forever now. His old self has absorbed it because he never lost those memories; it's like, she thinks, when she tricked Sora. His feelings for her were based on the transferance of the warmth of a memory to something else. When he lost those memories, he lost those feelings, as was only right. Given the choice between feeling false warmth forever and picking the cooler reality, who would not pick the reality? But Roxas was never offered a choice. And perhaps, she thinks, though it's shameful, his soul might be more at peace like this than if he were entirely that sharp-edged person melded with Sora, trying to absorb the concept of proper friendship without any background. At least the false memories mixed with the real ones will ease the way in the future.

She hadn't seen how false they were, though, until she'd started to link him to Sora and his memory opened to her, where for that entire year before it had been a book locked tight to her, barely even visible.

Every day, running in the program, she'd watched him go about and eat ice cream and play games, do jobs, live life and fight against the increasingly more dissonant ruptures into his world as Axel and his men tried to break in to get him out; as the locked-up self fought against its containment in a human shelf, as it slammed into those gates and gave him headaches, made him pass out, made sunlight blinding, rattled its cage. As she'd drawn the two closer, as she'd been told to do, she saw more of that person.

Naminé had wanted to meet the false Roxas, who, given the opportunity could live such a normal life. It gave her hope; she'd lived a long time without really understanding hope, and perhaps that made her hungrier for it. But she had wanted to meet the real one as well, as she grew to understand him more. His desperation. The angled blade of his need. His cold refusal to accept the things that annoyed him. His rage and hate and lack of reality. He was a Nobody like every other she'd grown up around, and while she didn't miss Castle Oblivion -- didn't miss the studies, the poking and prodding into the empty space her own memory had been, didn't miss the tests of what she could do, Marluxia's heavy-lidded smug eyes, Larxene's sadism, all the rest -- she thinks at the time she'd been too scared of them to understand really what it was. What Nobodies were. That common edged feature. Why they had it.

She'd drawn Roxas's escape then, and pinned it to the wall, so that when Roxas came, so when it was too late to escape, he would at least see it and know who he was, who he had been.

Perhaps Axel's right; knowledge can be dangerous, but Roxas is someone she's wanted to know. Both sides of him. And they exist here, and they exist now, and so she watches.

And when he beckons like that, she gets up and goes to him.

He grins at her with easy comfort and companionship. She thinks, perhaps, that's the reason they were so looking forward to living together like this, when it came down to it; they're a bit alike, and neither are alone any more.

"Roxas," she says.

"I'm about to catch some fish," he says, and jerks a thumb towards the shallows. "Want to join me?"

"Ah-?" Her eyes widen, almost alarmed.

He has no bait or tackle. But his pants are rolled up past his knees and he's wading in and grabbing at them. Catches them, more often than not.

"Come on," he says, and catches her wrist like one of those fish.

She gasps, and he drags her into the water. Surprised, she stands there; it's cold around her pale legs and laps around them. She feels dragged into the current even at this shallow depth.

"Look," he says, and starts to explain how to notice the fish.

Naminé thinks, she should avoid this. She should go back to land, where she can watch safely and draw what is happening, but instead she stands there for a few moments, confused, and slowly begins to follow his instructions.

She's not good at it; she's too slow, not quite able to figure out the angles to cut the fish off before they dart away, and before long she's soaked through, flopping around and the fish are slipping through her fingers.

But she can't mind their loss; she finds herself laughing. Her voice rises loud and clear and surprises herself. More so when Roxas joins in. They take their bucket of fish -- theirs, she thinks, because it was done together even if she caught nothing only -- and go back to land. When she walks, the sun-warmed sand clings to her feet like she's really on this world, and she gives Roxas a helpless smile.

He grins back, tilts his head up to watch the sun in motion, shielding his eyes from it with one hand. "It's a nice day," he says.

"Yes," she echoes. "A nice day." She wriggles her toes in the sand.

More out of desire to see it herself than mimicry, she tilts her head back as well and gazes towards the sun.


	6. [fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "Alone"

  


**Alone**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html), [(Un)complicated](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588585.html); [Day](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588810.html)  
OT6. Namine, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. Indeed. This part's pretty much Axel/Riku. I KNOW, I KNOW.  
Wordcount approx 3000  
Not safe for work! Post-game spoilers

To be fair, Riku's used to being alone. All the worlds have been his playground, and he'd made every effort to separate. Encounter those he cares for, of course, like Mickey -- but separate overall and watch from a distance.

Also to be fair, he's sixteen, almost seventeen, needy, and likes how it feels to get himself off.

It's just been a little awkward since Axel ...moved in. Snide commentary at exactly the wrong moments. Whispered suggestions. Hints. Advice. The vague sensation of a tongue caressing his ear jerking him out of it.

The urge to flee into the privacy of a bedroom away from it, behind locked doors, is overwhelming, but that's not a possibility any more.

Sometimes he manages it -- when Axel's sleeping or when he feels like it too much to do more than throw his apathy and scorn back at Axel and stroke himself evenly and quickly until he comes. Whatever; it's not like he cares what Axel thinks, even if that voice keeps up a constant low whispering speech, even if he thinks he feels Axel --

_Wanting._

Most of the time, however, he just ignores it. It's not like he needs something like that, anyway. Not really.

***

Riku's a bit bored.

Kairi has exams. She's been away from school less time than the rest of them, barely a few weeks (though it feels like longer), and was able to catch up and take her exams. For Sora and Riku, there's no choice but to wait until next year -- not that they really plan to be around next year. Not that Kairi does either, of course, but she's not going to give up options just in case. They have more free time. But today Donald and Goofy came by to pick up Sora -- and Roxas, of course -- for something Sora was vague about involving some kind of gummi run.

Whatever; it's not like he minds it. He's _used_ to being alone. It's nice to have some peace and quiet.

But by midday he's bored as hell; his parents are out (his parents are always out, he thinks, but can't really work up much emotion about it) and Sora and Kairi are absent and it's a hot day and there's nothing he wants to do. He loosens his shirt's collar, flops back on the bed, and ponders jerking off, as much to pass the time as anything else.

Still -- spark of interest behind his heart -- he snorts and rolls over a bit, curling loosely on his side. Nah. Too hot.

_You think that's hot? You ain't seen anything yet._

The thing is, it's actually impossible to jerk away from Axel when you share a body. Riku's aware with his mind that when Axel spoons in behind him, on some level he's not really there -- sure, Axel can get various levels of solid, from taking over his body to projecting an image to separating them both fully if only briefly, but they both have the same body between them. You can't outrun your body, or the things that've moved into it; God knows Riku's tried.

So when he moves forward, away, Axel moves with him, rolls and tucks his hips up behind Riku's.

He's dressed like Riku is -- black pyjamas with the shirt open -- and through the silky material of the pants Riku can feel that Axel isn't hard yet, but not entirely uninterested; it matches his own state from his vague consideration of masturbation, and he shivers as much at the implications as at the sensation.

"Shove off," he says. "I'd rather choke on darkness."

One of Axel's bare hands traces the curve of Riku's hip through the pyjamas. He can hear Axel's grin in his voice, feel it ghostly on his own unsmiling face. "Can do that too."

Riku manages to pull away this time with a tugging sensation that's nothing at all like actual separation. He sways up to his knees and glares back over his shoulder. "Who'd want that?"

"You, maybe," Axel says. "Far be it for me to judge."

Riku draws a breath to retort again -- hates to admit it, but it's not bad like this, the lazily irritable arguing -- but before he can manage it Axel's shifted around him with a sensation like Axel's passing through space without bothering to fill the area in between, and then Riku finds himself on his back with Axel leaning over him.

Axel grins down at him. His eyes glitter from under half-lidded eyes. "C'mon," Axel says. "Why hold out?"

"I'm not interested in you."

"You'd like it anyway." Axel laughs. It's a dry sound, almost crackling, and he leans a bit further forward.

Riku jams the heel of his hand into Axel's solar plexus, feels the distant ache of echo through his own.

Axel falls back, but keeps his grip on Riku's pyjama top, dragging Riku forward. They tumble for a bit, punching and jamming fingers into joints and then Axel's on top again as Riku gathers himself to slam his head up against Axel's. And then, abruptly:

_Roxas pinning Sora to the bed, biting his throat raw, grabbing at Sora's slim hips with his fingers pressing his flesh white, then red, while Sora gasps and rolls and grins and takes it as a personal challenge--_

_\-- Namine and Kairi curled together, whispering like when night and day meet in the twilight and the dawn, a thigh shifting between thighs, a gasp, Kairi's mouth opening and brows drawing down as Namine leans down and leaves quiet shadow kisses across her throat, down across her breasts--_

Riku jerks back roughly. Axel doesn't let him go, keeps him pinned in place, grins again. It's shaky and aroused and they're both hard this time, hips pressed almost too firmly together.

"See?" Axel purrs. "Don't have much reason to argue, do you?"

It takes a minute before Riku can find his voice. "They don't actually do that. Bastard."

"You don't know that, do you?" Axel asks. He grins, ducks his head, presses his lips to Riku's throat and Riku shudders as it echoes the mental image Axel had thrust on him.

Riku digs his chin down into Axel's head. "You've got sick fantasies," Riku rasps, as if his breath isn't coming so hard he's almost dizzy.

Axel laughs, low, hypnotic. "Yeah. That's true." He rolls his weight a bit, tugs at Riku's waistband. "Let's get this off, it's too much, yeah?"

"No," Riku says, and shoves at him again. He's panting, drags his hands over Axel's skin as he does so. Shit, he thinks, but can't really dig up much condemnation. "You--"

Axel slams against him hard, knocking the wind out of him, and wrestling Riku onto his front. Riku fights it almost as best he can, but Axel gets him there, straddles his ass and pins Riku's face to the bed with one hand on the back of his neck, dragging Riku's pyjama shirt off him with the other hand. Riku's back muscles tense and relax as he considers fighting it again, realize Axel's got the angle on him to keep him from really moving.

"You're so perverse," Axel tells him, and laughs. "I like that. I really do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've really got something messed up in that head of yours, Riku," Axel drawls. "Needing to fight just to get this?"

"Shut up," Riku rasps. He tries to shove back, but all that does is rub himself against Axel, who lets out an almost sweet sigh and leans down.

"Lucky for you," Axel says, "I know how you think."

Riku shudders at that and tries to think of an easy rejoinder, but it's hard. Axel _does_.

Axel takes advantage of the momentary pause to drag Riku's pants down to his knees, slides his hand up the inside of a thigh on the way back up. He cradles Riku's balls in one hot palm and Riku curses aloud, curls his hand into the bedsheets.

"Stay where you are," Axel says, and he lets go for a moment, dragging his own pants off fast, tossing his shirt to the side. Riku doesn't hesitate longer than a second; he crawls forward towards the edge of the bed, one hand reaching out and grabbing the corner of the bedside table, his legs dragging off the remaining crumpled mess of pyjama pants as he moves.

That's as far as he gets; strong arms yoke around his waist and drag him back hard, so he's kneeling with Axel's knees between his legs, Axel's chest pressed tight to his back, Axel's cock pressed along the cleft of his ass.

Riku twists, tries to swing. Briefly he considers drawing Way to the Dawn -- but no, that's a bad idea here, that's not something he's ready to start. His fists will do. But they won't; Axel's got him at an angle that just doesn't work at and Axel hooks his elbows around Riku's arms, yanking them back.

Helpless, Riku shudders. His entire weight is resting on the heat of Axel's thighs, the throbbing cock trapped under him. He curls his toes under on the bedsheets to get some leverage, but with Axel's grip on his arms he can't really go anywhere.

"I can't trust you to behave for a minute, can I?" Axel asks.

Before he can laugh, Riku has to clear his throat. He does both, then grins a bit, hazily. "I can't trust you not to do _this_ , so fair's fair."

"Tch," Axel says. He scrapes his teeth slowly against the back of Riku's neck. "You can complain about that when you're not begging me inside."

"Wha--"

"Here," Axel says, and lets go of one arm to put a hand over Riku's chest, where if he focuses he can feel two identities nestled.

Riku shivers.

A moment later he realizes the deception; Axel's hand shoots out cobra fast and he snatches the lube off the bedside table, then yanks Riku's arm back again. Axel has to lean back to give himself the room to work, his arms hooked low on Riku's forearms, one slick hand sliding between them.

Riku curses, leans forward, tries to yank his arms free.

"Nah," Axel says. "You don't want to do that." He doesn't add that because Riku doesn't want to, he won't succeed. Something better left unsaid, so Riku doesn't have to try to contradict it.

Fingers press into him without much warning, hooked slightly, slick tips probing. Riku shudders hard and his mouth drops open. His hair's in his eyes and he can't see much at all.

"Oh yeah," Axel whispers. "Yeah."

It stings, but he can feel Axel _expecting it to feel good_ and that overcomes the initial resistance he feels. He weakens into it; Axel's fingers slide deeper and Riku groans; he _wants_ it suddenly, harder than before, like he's feeling the tightness from both sides.

Riku grits his teeth.

"That's enough, huh?" Axel says. He grins; Riku can feel teeth against the back of his neck, then a slow, lascivious swipe of tongue.

Axel readjusts his grip, dragging Riku almost upright again, still straddling his thighs backwards. Axel's mouth isn't against him any more, but Riku feels the grin anyway as Axel shifts under him, fumbles, and Riku feels the pressure of his cock starting to push him open.

"Ready or not," Axel says, and thrusts.

That _does_ hurt, and Riku curses, strains against the restraining grip on his arms, his toes pushing hard against the bed as he tries to pull himself off Axel. Axel laughs, soft and strained, and Riku is forced to wonder if the pain isn't half because Axel was hoping for _that_ , too.

"One of these days," Riku begins, hoarsely. "I'm going to--"

"What?" Axel asks, and shifts under Riku, begins to move slowly.

Axel's pleasure washes over him abruptly, chokingly. Riku groans, moves back slowly into it, his legs straining as he tries to keep his balance and not just sink down entirely, his toes curled in the blankets and bunching them.

"Riku," Axel says, quiet.

Riku keeps his eyes closed. It's easier like that; he's used to lacking the sense, things that mark truth. It's _normally_ easier like that. Maybe in a way it makes this easier too -- this surrender. Because with his eyes closed every other sense is stronger; the brush of skin on skin, the deep stretching ache, the sensation of movement on his cock when Axel's hands are far from it. He licks his lips, shudders. He can almost see Axel watching the strained arch of his back, can almost feel it. There's a double sensation when Axel's forehead presses into the middle of his back.

"Close your eyes," Riku mutters.

For a moment, he thinks Axel's going to refuse. And then Axel lets out a full-body shake like he can't hold back and sensation grows that much stronger. Axel's mouth touches the curve of his spine and his own lips itch. Axel moves and his ass aches and his cock aches and he hisses, spits invective between his teeth, moves back into that.

Axel fucks him slow and steady like he never does with Roxas, Axel keeps his arms pulled back so that he's held captive and moves into him in small thrusts only, already buried deeply in him. Axel's arms are flexing around his in the armlock, Axel's thighs are flexing under his. Riku can't breathe around it, can hear his heart thudding hard through him, hard enough to shatter his world apart and even as he thinks that much he hears Axel moan in response.

It's too much; Axel's moving like they can go on forever but he can only handle so much sensation and without much warning he's straining back, into it, coming hard in hot spatters against his thighs and the bedsheets, as Axel says his name short, hard, sharp, and thrusts up hard into him. Riku can feel him come and the sensation cuts off his breath for long enough that he sees stars behind his eyelids.

And then Axel's releasing Riku's arms and Riku's falling forward, sliding off Axel's cock and feeling fluid spill and drip down the back of his thighs. He catches himself on his hands, one on the edge of the bed, the other on the bedside table. His hands feel a bit numb, but whether that's from the length of time they were in the armlock or whether it's from the overload of sensation, he couldn't say.

He takes a few moments like that, with his eyes closed, just breathing, trying to gather himself before he forces himself to sit up again. His body doesn't want to obey, his thighs shaking with effort, shoulders sore and strained. Slowly, he shifts, looks over.

Axel has sat back on his heels and is watching him silently, wide-eyed.

Waiting. Riku narrows his eyes. For what? Disapproval? Riku to lash out now that he doesn't have to accept it any more? For Riku to try to disprove all Axel's claims that he wanted it? (And that Axel felt him wanting it, and that Riku felt Axel feeling him wanting it...)

Riku licks his lips. His voice comes out hoarse; he pushes it out anyway. "You."

Axel grins. It's a defensive gesture. "Yep. You liked that."

"You," Riku insists, until Axel's smile fades. He catches Axel's gaze in his own, knows that Axel sees it as bright and dangerous, and that Axel is catching his feelings of _revenge_ as hard as Riku can throw them at him. "I've got something to make up for," and lets Axel know it's for those images, the images that broke Riku to the idea, the images of Sora with Roxas, Kairi with Namine, the images Axel sent him even though Axel's not _his_ Nobody--

And then he drags forward the memory, the image, throws it at Axel:

_Axel's heart in his hands. Warm and crystalline. It's been cleaned with a Keyblade; although the scent of darkness lingers, it's the scent alone, and it's softly glowing and heating his palms. Riku is afraid. He doesn't know where this is going. He doesn't know where it'll lead. He won't back down._

_He's never going to back down again._

_He pushes the heart against him, into him, and -- warmth, _heat__ , a suffusing rush of hot air and pleasure as a presence expands out into him, fills those empty hollow dark caverns and sets them on fire until there's no room for anything except what is already there, himself and Axel--

Axel's eyes are wide and catlike and a little afraid and strangely elated. He looks young, maybe. Before he can say anything, he just fades, just slides back into Riku to share the same space again.

Riku grins. He lets himself topple back to the bed, boneless, spent, sore in the best ways, overheated and kind of happy.

He can't ever be alone again, he thinks.

It's kind of annoying, maybe.

But it's not bad, either.


	7. [fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "Heat"

  


Catching a taxi to the airport in five, so pardon typoes. :D

 **Heat**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html), [(Un)complicated](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588585.html); [Day](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588810.html); [Alone](http://harukami.livejournal.com/591824.html);  
OT6. Namine, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. Indeed. This part's pretty much Sora/Axel.  
Wordcount approx 5000  
Not safe for work! Post-game spoilers

 

"Hey, Sora," Riku says. "Let's spar."

Sora drops the book he wasn't really reading anyway and he leaps out the window, grinning at Riku. "You're on."

Fact is that at this point, Riku's the only person other than Roxas who can really hold a candle to Sora when fighting. Neither of them really want to get out of shape, and they both like fighting, so it goes this way more than not.

Besides, it's been a long, lazy season with not much to do and it's a little _boring_ like that.

The island's the best place for it -- partly because they know it so well, have retread the ground over and over, found all the good spots as they grew up and fought with wooden swords. Partly because of the nostalgia. It's there where they head; take up position on the long stretch of beach and go.

They don't fight silently by any means; they shout and make demands and _My turn!_ and _This is it!_. Thrown Keyblades, zipping back and forth, and _Lightning_ and--

 _Blizzard_ \--

and then Riku's face goes strange and Sora pushes the advantage, _Blizzard, blizzard, blizzard_ until his magic runs out and he stops and notices.

***

Riku doesn't pay Sora any attention. He's never felt Axel do this -- never shove himself so far into the back of Riku that he seems to take up no space at all, a lit match, not a bonfire. And yeah, it hurts -- the Blizzaga seems way stronger than he'd imagine Sora capable of, and the magic combo makes the last one hit him with reeling force, his lips chapping and fingers aching with the cold.

But he ignores it. He can take it. _You_ can take it, he flings at Axel.

Axel doesn't respond, and Riku's teeth chatter as he grimly goes to work prying Axel out. Axel resists, then finally comes along reluctantly, almost ashamed.

 _You some kind of coward?_ Riku thinks at him. _Can't take it?_

 _I can take it,_ Axel drawls. _Doesn't mean I have to like it._

This isn't 'not like' and they both know it. Just as they both know that they can endure it, even if it hurts more than most.

Whatever Axel's got on his mind is more than just the magic, though part of it. Riku hates doing this -- hates it every time, hates ceding control -- but he steps back and pushes Axel forward at once.

 _Look, Sora's worried,_ Riku snaps at him. _You deal with it, it's your fault anyway._

Axel opens his eyes and sees that Riku's right. Sora's looking at him with a confused but unhappy frown, squinting at him.

"Axel?" Sora says, as if surprised he's there. "Something wrong?"

Axel grins at him, ducks his head so he doesn't have to look Sora in the eye -- he's had trouble looking Sora in the eye for a while now, haaah, since coming in him when Sora wasn't ready for anything like that; if he looks Sora in the eye he thinks the wrong thoughts. Axel says, "Naaah. S'cool."

"It didn't look cool."

"It was cool," Axel says. "Totally cold, even."

"Ha ha, funny," Sora says. He reaches out, grabs Axel's arm, hauls him upright. "What's--"

"Easy! We take more damage from that now, you were going a bit crazy there," Axel says. He hurts all over, that's true enough. His heart feels like it's racing.

Sora frowns. "Riku's not weak to ice."

"He is now," Axel says, and rubs the back of his head. "What, is it a problem? Just don't Blizzaga us."

"How should I have known!"

"You couldn't, you couldn't," Axel says, and takes advantage of the opportunity of Sora holding him like that to rest his hand on the back of Sora's shirt, absorb heat through the clothing. Sora's heat, warm and solid and comfortable. Bit of a guilty pleasure, he thinks. "Anyway," he says, and grins at Sora, making his eyes big.

"Anyway?" Sora asks, suspiciously.

Axel smiles. "It's been a long time," he says, "since you fought me with something like that."

"I've never fought you," Sora says, surprised. "Axel, are you feeling okay? Really?'

"Heh," Axel says. He ducks his head forward, still smiling, and digs his fingers slightly into Sora's shirt. "Never better."

***

"Anyway," Sora says, "come back with me and I'll get you warmed up. Jeez, you're stupid," he adds as he grabs Axel by the sleeve and drags.

Axel goes with. It's not worth the effort to argue that he's okay, he decides, even though he is, he really is (though man, but he feels like he burned away too much of himself, so that every tiny fragment of opposing element grates like on exposed nerves) -- it's got nothing to do with the way Sora was offering to. Warm him up.

Riiiight, Axel thinks.

He looks down at Sora and tries to see Roxas in him. It's not new; he's got a long tradition of trying it, from Castle Oblivion when they were separate to those last few moments. It's not hard to do, but it's not easy either. Physically they're really similar. Naturally. The same curve of cheek, the same lean strong body, the same eyes. Their attitude is totally different, though, and right now Sora's so much Sora that Roxas might be asleep.

Or Roxas might be quiet and watching, and damned if Axel can't tell.

He glance away instead, lets Sora lead him in through the front door.

"Hey, mom," Sora says, as they pass a plain-looking middle-aged woman in the kitchen. And how weird is that, meeting Sora's _mother_?

She squints at Axel suspiciously. "Sora, is that--"

"He's a friend of Roxas's," Sora says, and Axel blinks down at him. How much has Sora been telling the woman. "He kinda got a chill, so I'm letting him use our tub, okay?"

"In this weather-?"

"Don't worry about it, mom," Sora says, and Axel tries not to think about how it looks like a waiflike innocent little boy -- okay, little teen -- is leading a punk, thug-like skinny wolf upstairs in his home. Maybe if he doesn't think it, she won't either!

Tch.

Instead he tries to distract himself. "Sora, she knows about Roxas?" he asked.

Sora shrugged, then nodded. "It's not an easy secret to keep when living at home, you know?" Sora complained. "Besides, I mean, after forgetting me for a year and then finding out that I'd been travelling multiple worlds with alien companions, looking for Riku and Kairi and you know, all that, and the chance I can get called away any minute? There's no way she wouldn't take it pretty well!"

"I guess," he says. "Does she know about Riku?"

"Riku? Riku's normal. It's not like Roxas--"

Axel snorts. "I mean that you're seeing Riku. In the having-sex way."

Sora stares at him. "Why would I let her know _that_? She knows about Kairi, though," he assures him, and opens a door, nudging Axel into the bathroom.

It's a small room; a sink set into a counter, a toilet, a tub and shower, a small window facing towards the island. Dark clouds are gathering; looks like there'll be a storm later. With the door closed, there's more room for both of them, but not by much. Axel stands awkardly while Sora bends over the tub and turns the water on, hot. Steam rises.

"Y'know," Axel says. "It's okay. I'm fine."

"Whatever," Sora says, scornfully. "Just strip."

"Soraaaa," Axel whines. He shifts from foot to foot.

"Strip!" Sora says. He reaches out for Axel. "Or do I have to do it for you?"

Axel takes a quick step back and nearly trips over the toilet. "Sora!" he manages.

Sora grins.

"Fine. Fine!" Axel says. It comes out more huffy than he'd like. "Look, see, I'm stripping, watch me strip!"

"Maybe I will!"

"Maybe you should!" Axel starts to unzip and pull his clothes off quickly, not actually looking at Sora as he does so. Looking at Sora'd be a bad idea. Especially if Sora _is_ watching. He undresses in record time and has his back turned in a second, sliding into the water.

It's not fire, but it's _hot_ and he sighs a bit despite himself as it sinks into skin and bone and chases any lingering chill away. He's pretty sure that what was left by then was emotional, not physical, but hey. If it works, it works.

Sora takes a seat on the lowered toilet seat lid and leans forward, bracing his hands against the seat between his legs. "Feeling better?"

Axel's gaze slides off him and he sinks into the water. "Yeah, it's great. Look, don't you have stuff you should be doing?"

"Like what?"

"Like not watching me bathe?"

Sora shrugs. "I don't mind," he says. "I'm a little hungry though, so I'm gonna get a snack, okay? You stay in there, get warm. Maybe wash a bit, you stink."

"...Thanks," Axel says, and sighs again when Sora's gone.

Safe at last.

***

Axel's feelings of safety abruptly disappear when Sora enters again without knocking, eating a popsicle.

"...Sora?"

"Yeah?" Sora asks, around the popsicle. He's doing this thing with his tongue that Axel can see from here.

Axel closes his eyes, breathes deeply for a moment, then opens them again. "...What are you doing in here?"

"Watching you bathe," Sora says promptly. He holds the popsicle in one hand and licks at it. "Now that I've got a snack."

"...Are you really secretly some kind of sadist and I just never knew?" Axel asks. He turns over a bit in the tub.

"Huh?"

"Never mind." Inside, Riku is laughing at him. Axel can feel it. He sends back a wordless promise of violence that only makes Riku laugh louder.

Sure, _he_ can laugh, Axel thinks sourly. _He's_ tapping that.

"Hey, Axel? Why didn't you say anything about it?"

"About what?" Axel asks, dragged back outside.

Sora frowns at him and fits his lips around the end of the popsicle for a long moment before he finally lets go to talk again. "About the Blizzaga thing. I mean, dude, I can totally leave it out of fights."

Axel shrugs, water sloshing. "Didn't think it mattered," he says.

"How'm I supposed to know you kept your elemental affinity?" Sora demands. "Say something next time!"

Axel ignores the next time and tries to ignore the popsicle. It's melting a bit at the tip now, sending a droplet of moisture down the side which Sora chases with his tongue. "Uh -- I figured you weren't stupid?"

"I'm not stupid!" Sora protests.

 _Look at you,_ Riku says. _You're getting distracted by a guy eating a popsicle. What are you, twelve?_

 _More like five_ , Axel shoots back, mostly to hear Riku scoff. It's distracting, at least.

"I'm not! C'mon!" Sora says. He rises, and moves a bit closer to the tub.

Axel hisses, then rises, grabbing a towel from the rack and wrapping it around himself quickly. "Right," he says. "I think I'm done here."

"Huh?"

"Much better," Axel tells him. "Now I'm toasty warm. I mean. Also wet, but what can you do."

Sora hesitates a long moment. It looks like he's thinking something over, or maybe listening.

"...So that's great!" Axel says. "I'm just going to get dressed so can you just -- I'm not a free show here, Sora."

"It's not like I'd pay for you," Sora says, irritably. After a moment, he adds, "Your hair looks weird."

Water's soaked through it, pulling it from its usual spikes and making it hang dark red around his shoulders instead.

" _You're_ weird," Axel retorts, and reaches for his clothing. "Seriously, gimme a little room here, I don't want to get you in the head with an elbow. Bam. Bet you'd go down right away."

"Like I'd go down for you," Sora says, and Axel stares at him, not sure if Sora's innuendoing or just being Sora.

Axel snorts. "You're ignoring my request. What'll you do if I ask to see your bedroom or something next?"

"You've seen my bedroom," Sora says. "Like, a lot. Through Riku at least, right?"

"....Annnnd you're missing my point."

"Anyway," Sora says. "That's fine. Come meet me there, okay? If you're gonna be a prude about changing in front of me." He shrugs, and heads for the door.

"...What?"

"See you!"

***

 _He wants you,_ Roxas says.

Sora almost twitches, swallowing around the flutter in his stomach; he's not sure if it's him or Roxas feeling it. "He wants you," Sora says. "Don't worry about it."

 _I'm not worried_ , Roxas snaps, and there's an edge to his voice, an edge inside Sora that grates a bit. _I'm just letting you know!_

Sora thumps onto his bed, leans his elbows heavily on the window to watch the storm forming in the distance. "Why would you let me know something like that?!"

 _So you can take advantage of it._ Roxas sounds strangely distracted. _I guess._

"Wha-- Roxas! Don't be stupid," Sora says. "It's, he loves you, he wants you, you love him and -- anyway," he finds himself stumbling, "anyway, you don't like the thought."

_Does it matter? You're me._

" _You're_ you," Sora says. " _I'm_ me."

A sigh, filling Sora's chest a moment before releasing. _We're both of us._

Sora rubs the back of his head. "Fine, but that doesn't mean--"

 _You were teasing him. How far do you expect to go before everyone'll stop buying your excuses?_ Roxas's voice comes out flat. _You can't fool me, anyway._

"I wasn't teasing--" Sora ducks his head under the force of Roxas's glare. "Okay. Maybe a little."

_A lot._

"It's not my fault he's weak to it!" Sora says. "Anyway. I'm not going to do anything."

_Why not?_

Sora clenches his fingers on the window frame. "Because you don't like it. You're my _friend_."

A long, long silence, marked most strongly by a light that blocked off Sora's view of Roxas beyond the sense of thoughts whirling. And then it clears and Roxas looks at him and says, _Moron._

Sora glares. "You're the moron! If you don't like it, don't try to convince me to do it! It's not that I want to, anyway!"

_You want to. He wants to. ...I'm okay._

"Okay isn't good enough!" The wind is picking up; it cools Sora's cheeks.

Quiet: _I want you to._

"...Huh?"

He feels Roxas try to lean out the window more, to let it ruffle their hair; Sora lets him. _I'm possessive. Of the things I think are mine. But. They're yours._

"That's not a good reason--"

_I'd rather find out that I'm okay with it than wonder if I won't be. It'll happen sometime no matter what. You've set it up to happen now._

Sora blanches a bit. "Roxas, man, that sounds like you think I've seduced him. I don't, I -- look, it's not even, the only guy I like is Riku, I--"

_You feel what we do when we're together. You like that. I feel what you do when you're with Riku. So does Axel._

Sora flushes.

 _...It's okay,_ Roxas says, and Sora gets the sensation of fingers on his back, a comforting touch. _It's not that weird._

Sulkily, Sora sinks down so his chin is tucked against his folded arms. "That doesn't mean much, coming from you."

 _Guess not,_ Roxas sighs. Together they stare out the window. It's getting dark. _...But. Whatever you do, I'll be with you. So don't worry too much._

"Yeah," Sora says, but his stomach's clenched now and won't relax.

***

Axel raps on the doorframe, clearing his throat. "Yo. At your bedroom, as requested."

Sora twists to look at him, then gestures. "Uh, come in!"

Lifting thin brows, Axel shrugs and enters, shutting the door behind him. The click's very loud, he finds, and he exhales heavily as he comes over to the bed, takes a seat. He hasn't bothered to put his shirt back on, just his pants, and the towel is draped over his shoulders, his wet hair slowly seeping into it.

Sora glances at that, then up to his face, then away. "Um. Feeling better?"

Axel runs his fingers through his hair self-consciously, trying to detangle a knot or two. "Yeah, pretty much," he says. "Though seriously, you worry too much, kiddo. I'm not that weak, you know."

"Whatever," Sora says. He shifts a bit, drumming his fingers on his knees. "So... the bath was good?"

Licking his lips, Axel says, "Not bad? Look, Sora, there's only so much small talk you can make about the whole... taking a bath thing."

"You're right," Sora says. He rises decisively. "Can you wait here a bit?"

"Wha--"

"I'll be right back! I just have to, I'll be right back!" Sora says.

He flees.

Axel lets out a little huffing breath. "What was that about?" he asks aloud.

 _Sora's a bit strange sometimes,_ Riku provides, amused. Axel's eyes wander over to the window, out at the growing storm. _He always has been._

What's drawn Riku's attention out there? Axel can't figure it out; it's just dark clouds, some rain starting. No thunder and lightning yet, just the islands overcast and dark. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

 _Nah. It's just Sora._ Riku sounds rueful, maybe even a little melancholy.

"You want the lead again?" Axel asks, finally, after failing at finding something else to say, somewhere else to direct this.

 _...Nah,_ Riku says. _He said for you to wait here._

"I'd be here."

 _Don't be a coward,_ Riku says.

Axel lifts his brows. "What's with the abrupt change of pace, huh? I thought you hated the thought of me being alone with Sora."

Riku hesitates a long moment. His hands press against the window frame and Axel catches flashes of imagry; a boat rowed towards the island, dark forms and yellow eyes in the water, the hollow wooden sound of the boat hitting the pier. The racing in his chest as he kicks up sand as he runs, heading towards the door. Kairi's boat is already here; he'd called her out earlier. Sora will follow. Sora has to follow. Sora--

Riku cuts it off so abruptly that Axel jerks in surprise to see the window still between him and the storm.

 _Whatever,_ Riku says, scornfully. _I'm not so insecure that I need to worry about you._

"...Thanks. For that."

 _And_ , Riku adds, _it's not like I should make decisions for him, anyway. Even if it's the right one._

"Whatever," Axel repeats back to him, and finds himself smiling. "Not like it's gonna happen. You're just worried that if it did, he'd think I was better than you."

_That's the last thing I'd worry about._

"Sure," Axel says, and towels off his hair, humming a bit under his breath.

***

"Kairi, help," Sora hisses into the phone.

Through both her surprise and the sound of static on the line, Kairi's voice comes through clearly. "Sora? What's wrong?"

"Axel's in my bedroom and I think he wants to have sex."

There is a long pause.

"With Roxas?"

"No! With _me_."

"Ah, um," Kairi says.

It takes Sora a long moment before he places the strange edge in her voice as barely-contained laughter. "Kairi!" he almost wails.

"Sorry, I -- oh, Sora, you're the only person this sort of situation would happen to," she said. Her laughter is more rueful than anything else. "You know that, right?"

"What should I do?!" Sora demands.

Another long pause, and then, "Sora... why are you asking _me_?"

"Because you're my girlfriend! And you're smart about these things! Kairi!"

She sighs, and he can imagine her face right then -- a little worried, gentle, just a hint of mischief despite her concern. "Well, Sora. I guess -- what do you want to do?"

"What... do you mean?"

"If you're asking if I'm okay with it," she says, "I mean... it doesn't matter. It feels a bit weird to think about, but I don't mind, exactly?" She let out another small laugh. "I mean, it's Axel. It's... I don't know exactly, but isn't what Riku did with him more intimate?"

Sora makes a face at that thought. "I guess so. I don't know."

"So... don't worry about me," she says, and if her voice is still strange the storm's causing noise on the line, anyway. "But you should only do what you want. Are you being pressured into it?"

"Huh?"

"... Um, like. Do you want to. Sleep with Axel."

Sora blanches. "I don't know! Okay! Jeez, I wouldn't call if I knew!"

"Ah," she says. "Then... you probably want to!"

Blinking a bit, Sora covers the receiver more as his mom passes by. "...why do you think?"

"Well," she says. "You're you. And... you always know what you don't want to do, and refuse to do it. So, if you don't know that you _don't_ want to, then you probably do want to. And you just haven't figured that out yet."

"...That's weird, Kairi." Despite himself he sounds relieved.

She laughs. "Is it? Sorry."

"Yeah, weird," he says. He rubs the back of his head. "Guess I'm gonna figure it out one way or the other, huh?"

"He'll forgive you," Sora hears murmured. "If you're wrong. He'll tease you about it to cover up the pain."

He hesitated. "Namine?"

"He's a Nobody, Sora. ...Or used to be. Nobodies don't get what they want." He hears the gentle smile over the phone. "Nobodies never really get what they want."

"...He's not a Nobody any more," Sora says.

A small laugh, toneless. "That's true. But he's used to it, so don't force yourself. It's better to suffer if you're used to it than if you're not. And there's Roxas to consider too."

"Roxas told me to," Sora says.

"Roxas," Namine murmurs, "likes the truth, even when he hates it. Well. That's good then."

Sora shifts from foot to foot. "What are you saying?"

"Go back to your bedroom," Namine says, and then Kairi says, "Don't worry too much, Sora. Your heart will tell you what to do."

"I guess so," Sora says dubiously. He's never really communicated that directly with it. "Thanks, Kairi."

"No problem," Kairi says warmly, and hangs up first.

***

Axel looks up as the door closes again and tilts his chin at Sora, grinning a bit. "Done?"

"...Yeah," Sora says. He looks at Axel very seriously. Very, very seriously.

"...What?" Axel shifts.

Sora points at him. "Close your eyes."

"HUH?"

"Close 'em," Sora says. "Don't look at me right now!"

Axel squints at him. "What's wrong with you this time, twerp?" he asks, but what the hell; he shuts his eyes anyway.

Silence for a moment -- Sora testing to see if he was looking? Axel wonders -- and then weight and heat.

Despite himself he opens his eyes abruptly, staring.

Straddling his lap, thighs pressed to Axel's legs, Sora glares at him. "Don't do that," he says, and puts a hand over Axel's eyes again. "Don't."

"Sora," Axel tries to see. It comes out funny; hoarse and strained. "What're you doing, huh?"

"Experimenting," Sora says. His other hand traces a hand over Axel's bare chest, finger poking at a nipple as if suspicious about its reaction. Axel shivers at the sharp jab of sensation, hears Sora draw a slow breath in. "So don't distract me, okay?"

Axel says, "Sora, you know, I don't think I--"

"Shh, I said," Sora says. He leans up, presses his mouth almost to Axel's throat, so Axel can feel his hot breath, and hesitates. "Man..."

Behind his eyelids, Axel looks upwards. "Don't do this," he says wryly. "Tch, if you force yourself, that's no good."

"Shut up," Sora says, and hitches his hips closer, presses their groins together. "I'll decide what I want to do."

Axel's breath catches; arousal kindles fast, spreads through him, and he knows Sora can feel the beginnings of his erection through their pants; there's no way he can miss it, and besides, he makes a little noise in his throat.

Sora squirms over him for a moment, as if trying to find a way to get comfortable, and that's agony, a unique sort of agony as every brush of flesh on flesh seems to drag out more shocks of arousal, like he's dragging chains through Axel's skin and pulling him close with them. Axel makes a whining noise, a non-protest, lets Sora drag him around.

"Okay," Sora says abruptly. Axel can't see his face, doesn't know if his expression matches the sudden decisive tone of it. "I have to let go but. Keep your eyes closed. Got it?"

"Got it memorized," Axel agrees, low.

Sora scoffs at him, and then shoves Axel back. Axel's breath rushes from his lungs as he ends up sprawled; it feels like there's a pressure on his chest even if he can't feel Sora there. Sora's sliding down instead, and a hot hand presses to the front of his pants.

His hips jerk up and his breath rushes out. "Oh fuck," he hears himself say, and digs his fingers hard into the bedsheets to try to keep himself in control. It's stupid, it's idiotic, he has this much experience and he suddenly feels like he's going to come.

"Hah," Sora says, smugly satisfied. "Hang on."

It takes more will than Axel knew he had to not open his eyes when he feels Sora fumble his fly open, when he feels callused hands tug his cock out. A bit rough; it hurts and he'd wince but he can't find the breath; it's all rushing in and out hard and fast as his fingers clench in the sheets.

"Okay," Sora says, determinedly, and then heat and wet and -- fuck he can't keep his eyes open, even if Sora's asked. He has to open his eyes and does, opens them to see those full young lips stretched wide around his cock, blue eyes staring up at him with a combination of trepidation and determination. Axel shudders and then shuts them again hard and fast; he's going to lose it, he thinks. He's going to lose it completely.

Almost hysterically he thinks, _It's like Sora was born to suck cock_.

He catches a moment of strained amusement from Riku and then he's not noticing much at all because Sora's swallowed him down like he fits, like it's comfortable, like it's fine and it's all pressure and heat and Axel grabs the back of Sora's head.

"Sorry, kiddo," he rasps, and thrusts.

Sora makes a disgruntled noise in his nose; Axel couldn't listen to it if he wanted to. He moves into the spasms of Sora's throat, he moves hard and rough and hisses between his teeth at the feel of it and then he's grabbing fistfuls of Sora's hair and coming hard, pressed deep into Sora's mouth.

It shakes him, it rips through him with a near violence and he sags back as the aftershocks leave him twitching. He manages to let go of his grip on Sora's hair.

Sora pulls back abruptly, coughing thickly, come-thickened saliva hanging from his lips. Shakily, he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, and looks up at Axel with kind of shaken eyes.

"Sorry," Axel mouths again. He doesn't really mean it, not really, but he also does.

"Nngh," Sora says, and grabs Axel's hand, pressing it to his groin.

He's not hard -- not fully, anyway, not any more, but that doesn't matter. He's hard enough, and he's Sora, and he's pressing Axel's hand right there, and Axel can feel the heavy thickness under his palm. He swallows, mouth dry, breathless still, groin twinging, and rolls his palm over Sora.

Sora groans, thrusts, grins a bit sweatily. Axel can't seem to let go of him, can't seem to stop _touching_ , and it takes Sora longer than probably necessary to get his pants off. And then he moves over Axel and says, "I want to try that. Like you do with Roxas."

"Oh fuck," Axel says. "Fuck yes. Please." His cock aches, half-hard, and he rolls over.

"Uh, let's see, I have--"

"I don't care," Axel says. "I don't, just--"

Sora hesitates. And then, "Well, okay," trusting Axel to know himself, know his limits. Axel grits his teeth, relaxes into it, and --

And it's easy as anything to relax into this, relax into pressure and pain and heat and Sora's inside him, Sora's inside him, god, he thinks. Hell.

He's making noises he can't even recognize and moves as Sora gasps and groans and is so noisy and not Roxas above him, and it's all heat and pressure and he's seeing light behind his eyelids, he's feeling a choked feeling in his throat and an itching in his eyes and he moves and feels Sora come, and if he hasn't come again that's fine.

He's blown away anyway.

***

Inside Riku shakes with the shocks and the movement and the feeling of Axel and the feeling of Sora, and feels darkness bleeding out of him into the heart around him, feels darkness chasing away the chill.

***

Sora sleeps after and Roxas creeps forward tentatively. Axel's not asleep yet -- Axel's wrapped around Sora almost protectively, one arm draped around those lean shoulders, his fingers stroking the knobs of Sora's spine under soft skin. When it changes slightly -- not much, more a tension before pale hair's brushing Axel's chin, not dark -- Axel exhales slowly.

Roxas doesn't quite look up at him. "Axel."

"I love you," Axel says. It's not a tone like he's trying to excuse himself. Instead he sounds awed, peaceful.

Warm.

Roxas looks up and suddenly his heart is hurting.

But it's not a bad pain, and it sweetens more as he presses forward and says,

"Yeah. I know."


	8. [fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "Kill in the Face part 2"

  


**Kill in the Face part 2: Return of the Face-Killing**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html), [(Un)complicated](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588585.html); [Day](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588810.html); [Alone](http://harukami.livejournal.com/591824.html); [Heat](http://harukami.livejournal.com/592669.html);  
OT6. Namine, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. Follows most immediately on events of ‘Alone’.  
Wordcount approx 550  
Safe for work (only section that is? XD)! Post-game spoilers

“Hey, Riku,” Kairi says. She leans in and beams at him. “I hope you weren’t too bored.” 

Riku, who has been reading a book and is caught a bit off guard, just blinks at her. “Huh?” 

“Oh, you know,” she says. “From when I was taking exams. Sora was away too, right? Ah, but you’re used to being alone, aren’t you? Not that that’s any good either.” 

Riku says, “Nah. I wasn’t bored.” 

“Good,” Kairi says. 

But before she can say anything else there is a feeling _exactly like_ being shoved in the head and Axel leans forward and says through Riku’s mouth, “We passed the time with sex. It was pretty awesome.” 

“Axel,” Riku says and lifts his fist. 

*** 

What Kairi feels like then is mostly amusement. It’s hard to actually feel anything else –except concern that Riku’s going to do some serious damage to himself this time. It’s that last impulse that makes her grab onto his arm and cling. 

Inside her, Namine is squeaking repeatedly, and Kairi gets the mental sensation of flailing hands and moderate panic. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Kairi told both of them. “Riku, just because he’s a liar doesn’t mean you should take it out on him, ahh, be careful--“ 

“...A liar,” Riku says. His arm trembles in her grasp. “Right. A liar.” 

“His ass is real hot,” Axel says. 

Kairi says, “Axel! Stop that, he’s going to hurt himself!” 

“I know. It’s hilarious.” 

“I’ll kill you,” Riku swears. I’ll really--“ 

Kairi draws a slow careful breath. “Riku! Don’t get so worked up. Honestly,” she says, and giggles. “Besides, it’s not like anyone would believe it.” 

“You wouldn’t?” Riku asks. He sounds hopeful. 

“… except. We totally did. Have sex,” Axel says. 

Kairi blinks. 

“What, really?” she asks. 

*** 

“You know,” Tidus says. “You fetch ice packs a lot lately, Kairi.” 

“Um. Do I?” 

“…If anything’s going on with Sora,” Tidus says, “Tell me, and I’ll kick his ass.” 

“…No, it’s not for me!” 

Tidus whistles. “You’re beating him?” 

“That’s—“ 

“Awesome!” 

*** 

Riku mutters under his breath and presses the ice pack to his lip. 

He hopes Axel thinks it _hurts_. 

*** 

“Hey, Sora.” 

“Hey, Kairi. Hey, look – I was just talking to the guys and Tidus kept patting my shoulder, it was really weird—“ 

Kairi giggles nervously. “Um . Never mind that now. But, Sora… had you heard that Riku and Axel have had sex?” 

“What?” Roxas says, dangerously. 

Sora flickers back into place a moment later. “What, really? Why’d they want to do that?” 

*** 

“Riku,” Roxas says. He’s smiling. “I think we need to talk.” 

*** 

“Kairi just came and got another ice pack, mon,” Wakka tells Sora. “Everytin’ okay wit you? You gotta take care of yourself too, ya?” 

“Huh?” 

*** 

The second ice pack is cradled carefully over Riku’s eye. “I hate you,” Riku half-hisses. “I hate you! Why did you tell her? Why did I ever have sex with you?!” 

It takes Axel a long moment of consideration before he finally answers. When he does, it comes with a sense like a helpless shrug. 

“Because you touch yourself,” Axel says.


	9. [fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "A Completionverse Christmas"

  


**A Completionverse Christmas**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html), [(Un)complicated](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588585.html); [Day](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588810.html); [Alone](http://harukami.livejournal.com/591824.html); [Heat](http://harukami.livejournal.com/592669.html); [Kill in the Face part 2: Return of the Face-Killing](http://harukami.livejournal.com/593473.html)  
OT6. Naminé, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. Follows most immediately on events of 'Alone'.  
Wordcount approx 3500.  
Oh. SO very not safe for work! Unrepentantly so. Post-game spoilers  
Merry Christmas, [](http://mackzazzle.livejournal.com/profile)[**mackzazzle**](http://mackzazzle.livejournal.com/) ♥

"Is it just me," Axel asks Riku, "or is it getting much gaudier around here then I remember?"

"Well," Riku begins.

They're interrupted when one of Riku's classmates -- a busty young woman with a frilly black lace dress cut both high and low at the front, and who's wearing far too much purple eyeshadow and black lipstick -- walks up. "Hey, Riku."

Riku lifts a hand. "S'up, Lulu."

Axel's thin brows shoot up and he whistles. "Damn, Riku!"

"...So who's your friend?" Lulu asks, not sounding terribly impressed. She snaps her gum in Axel's general direction.

"I'm--"

"This is Axel," Riku interrupts. "He's a hobo, I found him on the streets. I'm just taking him to get some food." He jerks his thumb in the general direction of downtown.

"Uh-huh," Lulu says, just as Axel reaches out and smacks him upside the back of his head. She twirls her fingers around one of her artfully curled ponytails. "You do that. See you after break, hmm?"

Riku nods, then hits Axel back. "Sure," he says. "See you."

"What was that about?" Axel demands when she's gone. "I'm SO not a hobo."

"Don't make me answer that," Riku says. "Anyway, of course they've got decorations up. It's almost Christmas."

"Oh, of course," Axel says. "Chr-- OH SHIT." He waves his hands dramatically; several shoppers duck. "WHAT AM I GETTING ROXAS?"

***

"Done," Naminé says. She smiles aside at Kairi, who grins and crawls over to look at the wrapped gift.

"Let me seeeeee," Kairi says.

Naminé shakes her head firmly, and puts a finger over her own lips, then smiles again. "Why be separate," she says, softly, "unless I need to keep some secrets."

"Ehhhh," Kairi says, "No fair!" But she's laughing.

Naminé laughs too; it's not as if Kairi was idle. "Besides," she says, with an edge that would be impish if it weren't shy, "you were wrapping something I wasn't allowed to see."

"Well," Kairi says. "I maybe picked up something for someone close." She beams.

Naminé beams back.

"Oh! That reminds me," Kairi says. She rolls off the bed; Naminé gasps as Kairi lands on her, but Kairi just snuggles up, grinning. "We should be separate on Christmas!"

Smile faltering but not vanishing, Naminé asks, soft, "Why?"

"Because otherwise the boys won't be separate," Kairi says. "And Sora and Riku will take over, because they _do_ that, and then Axel and Roxas'll miss Christmas."

Naminé's smile widens again, but it's a little forced. "That's a good reason," she agrees, and runs her fingers slowly through Kairi's hair. Kairi kisses her neck gently, and Naminé closes her eyes, lets her cheek rest on the top of Kairi's head.

***

"DIE DIE DIE," Sora screams.

Roxas smirks. "Not a chance," he says, voice low, and makes his move.

"Aww, man." Sora slumps over the game controller as round two is declared a loss, both points in Roxas's favor. "Hang on, let me switch characters."

"Sure," Roxas says. "It won't help."

"Shut up, it will too," Sora says. He ponders over the character select option. "Decided what you're getting Axel for Christmas yet?"

Roxas steals a drink of Sora's soda. "...Mm. Nah."

"Leaving it late?"

A shrug. "Axel doesn't really celebrate Christmas, probably," Roxas says. "...just pick a character." He reaches over and hits x.

"HEY! -- Hey! Come on! Don't start attacking already! Roxas!"

***

Riku covers his face. He's actually, he finds, a little embarrassed to be seen in this tiny, cluttered, really tacky store.

"This," Axel says. "This is awesome."

Staring at it with some horror, Riku says, "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. It's an elastic band dispenser shaped like a fat puppy," Axel points out. "What could be better?"

Riku puts it back. "Let's try another store. Another day maybe," Riku says. "When you're not insane."

"No wait, let's look over here!"

Hiding his face again, muffled, Riku says, "Are you sure you don't want to try looking for something a little more tasteful?"

Axel snorts. "No, trust me," he says. "I know Roxas. Tasteful is bad -- HERE."

"...Those are the ugliest tissue box covers I've ever seen," Riku said. He isn't sure if it was repulsion or awe in his voice.

"I know," Axel says. It's _definitely_ awe in his voice. "They're _perfect_."

***

Original plans had been to hold their Christmas Eve get-together on the little island.

Original plans were scrapped at Sora's insistence. He hadn't quite thrown a fit, but his hands had ended up as fists and he'd waved them about.

"Nooooo," he'd said, and flailed. "We need a chimney or Santa can't come!"

Riku had sighed. "I'm not going to be on his good list anyway."

"That's not the point!" Sora said, after a moment's tragic expression that Riku would have to ask about later. "Santa'll come! I know it!"

"My parent's are going to be away on Christmas anyway," Riku said.

And that's how the three -- six -- of them end up at Riku's for Christmas.

***

It's a surprisingly cozy setup, given both the size and the frequent emptiness of the house. The tree is set up in the living room; Riku's laid out snacks, and the fireplace is burning merrily. He's also covered all the furniture with sheets, thanks to that one time Kairi couldn't sit on the sofa due to the risk of staining its silk covers, and had sat by the fireplace instead. She'd melted her skirt to the glass front and his parents had been furious.

Right now, though, it's fine for them to sprawl out. Kairi insisted they all be out where they could see each other's faces, so it's a little crowded, but there isn't anyone there who minds sharing a bit. Sora is sprawled out across Kairi's knees, legs draped over Riku. Naminé has curled close to Kairi at her feet, one arm tightly wrapped around a leg. And out by the fire, Roxas had taken a seat and Axel crept in behind him to wrap around him.

"Merry Christmas, guys," Riku says. He raises the glass; he'd got out one of his parents' bottles of wine from the basement, on the theory that it wouldn't be missed.

The returning chorus of 'Merry Christmas' is surprisingly loud; the room's not that small, but it makes Riku blink, then smile.

They get to the present opening quickly. No real point putting it off.

"Whatcha get me," Sora asks, shaking the box.

"Don't do that," Riku tells him. "Honestly, Sora. What if it'd break?"

Sora makes a face. "Oh, right," he says. He tugs the ribbon off, opens the box fast. "AWESOME. VERSUS HEARTS 2."

Riku grinned. "Let's play some tomorrow, okay?"

"You're on!"

Kairi opens from Naminé next. "A mirror?" she asks, smiling at the delicate work on the edge.

"I tried to draw you something," Naminé tries to explain. "I couldn't, it wouldn't come out, but..." she smiles, and presses closer to Kairi's legs.

"It's lovely," Kairi says. "Thank you, Naminé."

Naminé closes her eyes, nods.

"Roxas next," Axel declares loudly. He shoves his package at Roxas and bounces a little in place. "Open it open it open it."

"Okay, already," Roxas says. He's gone red to his ears. "Don't get so worked up."

"Christmas is awesome," Axel declares.

"I didn't think Nobodies'd like Christmas," Sora says. "You're not on Santa's list, right?"

Axel snorts. "We're not on anybody's lists," he says. "But hey. We're here to break all your rules."

"That's--"

Whatever Sora thinks that is gets drowned out in Roxas's sudden cry.

He turns the statuette of King Mickey around, then experimentally pulls the tissue out of the slot in its proffered opera-gloved hand. "This is _incredible!_ " he says.

"I wanted to pick up the one with the cow," Axel tells him, "But Riku hit me until I got this one instead."

"Ididnot," Riku mutters when Kairi giggled and nudged him with her elbow.

"Thank you," Roxas says. Axel beams at him and tries to put the bow on Roxas's head. Roxas shoves it away.

It goes around like so:

Naminé gives portraits to the boys, though there are, they can't help but notice, many smaller pictures drawn into their eyes, ones even they can't make out. Roxas and Axel take their own with strange expressions, but they don't seem displeased, either.

Sora gives Riku a belt, and then, when Riku threatens him, another present: a thin chain with a crown hanging from it. Sora's is in stainless steel; this one's in iron, which Sora shrugs apologetically about. "It's all I could find." Riku shakes his head, smiling, and puts it on.

To Naminé, he gives a necklace as well, this just a thin silver chain. Her cheeks go faintly pink, and she fastens it.

To Kairi he gives a ring.

"It's beautiful," she says, and slides it on the second-last finger of her right hand. He smiles at her; she smiles back, and nothing more is said about it.

Axel, he gives a scarf to. "You catch cold easily," Sora says, very seriously. "I thought you might want it."

"Thanks," Axel says. "Wow, that colour's really. Orange."

"If we tie it tightly enough," Riku says. "Maybe we can use it as a leash."

"Don't laugh," Axel says. "This'll clash with your eyes."

Sora ignores them, and reaches over to Roxas. "Here," he says, and makes Roxas hold out his hand.

"Huh?" Roxas blinks down at the little thing Sora had dropped there. "A keychain?"

"You've never used any, right?" Sora says. "Because you've got your defaults. Use this one, okay?"

"It looks like Axel's--"

"I know," Sora says.

"What's it look like?" Axel asks. He leans over, but Roxas closes his fist tight, and instead Axel tries to put the bow on him again. Roxas glares and puts it beside him, not letting go even when Riku leans towards him. Riku just gives a marble; Roxas blinks at it suspiciously, and Riku ponders his drink with too much care.

"Me?" Axel asks.

"I'm not giving you shit," Riku tells him, then gets out his next present. He gives Kairi a new dress; it's in her size perfectly -- he explains, low-voiced, that he checked her current one, and she laughs, and hugs him.

"I'll try it on," she says, and strips right there, incorrigible. Riku and Sora stare; Roxas glances aside, Naminé touches her leg. Axel whistles. She ignores them all and shrugs it on over her head; it's black with pink straps and buckles, and it's of a soft cotton -- it would travel easily. "Thanks," she says, and kisses him, gentle.

He ducks his head, then hands his last one over to Naminé. She unwraps the box carefully, opens it, then gasps down. "Oh--"

"Hang it in a window," he says. "Kairi's window, I guess. It's a dreamcatcher. It's supposed to keep bad dreams away."

She traces its rim with a fingertip. "Thank you," she whispers, and turns it this way and that; the feathers are pure white, and there are crystals woven into the strings that catch the light and shine it every which way.

Kairi smiles warmly at her. "Right," she says, with an air of finality. "I made one for everyone! But I couldn't wrap it, so I brought it like this." She lifts the basket she'd brought, and pulls back the top to lift out a bowl.

"Huh?" Sora said. "It's just fruit salad?"

"Mmhmm," Kairi says. "But it's really good! Here, I'll serve it while Roxas gives his gifts out..."

Roxas says, "I didn't really go shopping. I can give out IOUs." He sounds strangely small, a little ashamed, and he takes the small bowl Kairi hands him and stares at it. "Sorry."

"Don't be silly," Kairi says. "You're with us."

"Sure," Sora says. "That's enough for us!"

"Something like that," Riku says, rolling his eyes.

"I didn't get anyone but you anything," Axel says. He puts his spoon down, his bowl half-finished already. "Did you have something for me?"

Roxas blinks up at him, takes a mouthful of his fruit bowl, then puts the bow on his head with a sigh.

Axel stares.

And then he grins and puts his bowl down, and leaps on Roxas, pressing him back, licking juice off his lips.

"Hey, this is good," Sora says.

Riku is frowning at his. "...Is this--?"

"Oh," Naminé breathes, her eyes wide.

"Eh he heh," Kairi laughs. She rubs the back of her head. "You figured it out fast, even with the sweet sauce, huh? That's right."

"Only you," Riku says, "Would make fruit salad with paopu."

"Maybe," Kairi says, and then grins. "We should probably head upstairs, guys. I think we've lost Roxas and Axel."

***

"Kairi," Naminé says, and they stop. "No," she says, after a moment. "Sora, Riku, go on ahead. All right?"

They share a glance, and then shrug, and go.

"What's wrong?" Kairi asks, concerned, touching her cheek.

"I'm worried," Naminé says. "If we're going off, should I be out of you?"

Kairi touches her chest. "Whether you're in me or out of me, we're together," she says. "So..."

"I know," Naminé says, and then bursts out, "But with them, you're going to, aren't you? I shouldn't stay where they can see me--"

"I don't think it's so bad," she says. She reaches down, takes Naminé's hand. "Just watch."

Naminé's eyes widen. "What--?"

Kairi breaks into a run, dragging Naminé with her, then stops abruptly in the doorway to Riku's bedroom. The thing she'd planted earlier on a bathroom break is still there and she grins at the boys, seated on the bed and chatting, then points up.

"Sora! Riku!" she calls. "Mistletoe!"

And then she pulls Naminé against her.

Naminé squeaks when Kairi's lips meet hers. A moment later she sighs and relaxes into it, letting her arms fall around Kairi's shoulders, parting her lips; there is nothing more comfortable, she thinks distantly. The stretch of skin of skin, of contact, touch, Kairi --

"Oh," Sora says. She hears him distantly, but doesn't want to stop kissing; every pass of their lips is like a soothing balm after so long outside. "Oh. _Um._ "

"Holy shit." And that's Riku and she realizes how this must look, and blushes, and pulls back a little to look over her shoulder at him.

Kairi draws a deep, shaky breath, then grins again. "C'mon, slowpokes," she says. "What're you waiting for?"

***

"I'm sorry," Roxas mutters at Axel.

"Hah?" Axel isn't paying much attention, not with his back warm on the flagstones in front of the fireplace, and not with Roxas pressing his knees back and staring down at him. "What're you even talking about? Come here."

"Yeah," Roxas says. A moment later, he smiles, and the expression is so heartfelt and unfamiliar that for a moment Axel's heart seems to stutter.

And then he's in and Axel's eyes close tight for a moment. He groans out, drapes an arm around Roxas, tangles fingers in the mess of his hair.

Roxas's bow has fallen off at some point, but neither of them notice; it doesn't matter at all.

***

Kairi isn't sure any more where she ends and the others begin. "You know," she says, a little dizzily. "You know something, Riku?"

"Mmprh?" It comes from somewhere around Sora's midsection.

"Your giant bed," she says, "is a really, really good thing."

Sora laughs at that, and Kairi turns her head, sees Naminé with her eyes shut tight and her cheeks bright red and Sora's hand really energetically squirming on one of her breasts. Now that she can focus on it, she feels an echoing twinge and she grins at them both, scrambles over -- gets a knee on Riku's stomach and apologizes for it a moment later -- to throw her arms around Sora, hold him, press her breasts to his back.

"Whoa!" Sora protests, and sinks down against Naminé.

Naminé squeaks, gasps, and her eyes fly open.

"Hi," Kairi says, and peeks over Sora's shoulder.

A startled blink, the expression on her face comically surprised, and then Naminé smiles, shifts so that she can lift a leg -- both her arms pinned under Sora's bulk where he's shifted on his side a bit so Riku can work on him -- and runs the base of her foot down the curve of Kairi's hip.

Kairi beams back, and then reaches down, tugs on Riku's hair. "Come up here!" she demands.

"...Kairi?" Riku asks, just as Sora whines a "NOooo, Kairiiiiii..."

"C'mon," she says, and Riku crawls up as Sora whines and curls and tries to find something for himself right now, squirming. Kairi kisses Riku, tastes Sora in his mouth, moans faintly, and slides her hand up Naminé's leg.

Naminé gasps, breathing hard, then harder as Kairi drags fingers through white-blond curls and dips below, runs her fingertips along the line of heated wetness there. "Oh--"

Riku breaks the kiss. "What are you--"

She can't quite keep her grin from being impish, and she rolls off Sora's back, shifts around, kisses Naminé again firmly, swallowing the little noises Naminé's making. Naminé's hands have curled up by her shoulders, her legs have fallen apart, and her brows are faintly creased; Kairi feels her own touch creep along, press a fingertip inside like it was herself, and she ducks her head forward, shivers.

"Oh gosh," Sora says. "Um, I..." and then he's scrambling towards them and Riku grabs at Kairi's shoulder and Sora's cock at the same time and...

Kairi laughs and thinks that even if she can't tell who's touching her now, as they roll around and touch and tangle and everyone's after each other, Naminé can. Naminé whose feelings are somewhere between shock and wonder, who's letting herself be buffeted by these waves of life and energy, and Kairi comes for the first time against the point of Riku's hip, one leg thrown over his back, and isn't sure whether it was her or Naminé, not in the slightest.

***

Half-asleep, Roxas presses his mouth to Axel's collarbone and whispers the words. He doesn't say them often.

But, Axel thinks, when he says them, they really count.

"I love you too," Axel mumbles. It's late, he's tired, and he strokes Roxas's hair slow and steady, lets his eyes close. "Merry Christmas."

***

After all that, Kairi's really tired. In sleep Naminé vanished back into her, and Riku and Sora are both sprawled, taking up most of Riku's giant bed, fast asleep.

She wants to sleep.

But there's something she's done every year and she can't not do it now. She stumbles upright, winces a bit; she's sore. But it's the good sort of sore, a deep ache, and if it doesn't go away for a few days, that's fine too. She stumbles to the bathroom first, cleans up, splashes her face to wake herself up a bit, then pulls the new dress back on.

After that, she tiptoes downstairs. The fire has died out to a mere glimmer in the embers, and Axel and Roxas are naked and asleep, curled together. She smiles at them, softly, then heads past them into the kitchen.

It takes a bit of searching of the cupboards, but soon she has the cookies and milk. She sets them out and waits.

Soon she sees the feet appear in the chimney.

"Hi, Santa," she whispers.

"Ho ho ho," he says, and smiles at her. His eyes are twinkling. "If it isn't Kairi. Have you been a good girl this year?" With only a hint of a frown and a raised bushy eyebrow, he steps over the deeply sleeping forms on the flagstones.

"I don't know," she confesses. "But I've been a happy one." She hesitates a moment later, fiddles with her ring, fiddles with Naminé's necklace. "Santa? You have a present for me, right?"

"And for Riku," Santa agrees. "Surprisingly, he's been a good boy this year. And it seems he's started to believe in me a little."

"Sora has too, right?" Kairi says eagerly. "Did you get one for him?"

Santa frowns. "Well," he says. "Sora's done a lot of things."

"But," she starts to protest. "If I gave up my gift--"

"But," Santa says, and smiles. He pulls out another present. "He did help save Christmas this year."

She gasps, then gets up and throws her arms around him. "Santa!"

"Merry Christmas, Kairi," he says.

Kairi beams. "There's one other thing--"

"I know," he said. "But I can't get anything for them."

Her face falls. "Santa..."

A moment later, he winks and touches her nose. "Don't worry, Kairi." He steps back over Roxas and Axel, ducks back into the chimney.

"Santa?"

His voice, when it comes, is echoed by the chimney, and faint from distance. "Well, Kairi, there are two presents in each box."

"Thank you," she whispers; he's gone, so even if she shouts, it'd make no difference.

But despite that, she hears jolly laughter and a voice, seeming to boom -- but distantly, like far off thunder, "Merry Christmas to all! And to all--"

"A good night," she finishes, as she does every year, and smiles, goes back to bed.


	10. [fic] Kingdom hearts 2, "Six Impossible Things"

  


Zazzle said I had to write her completionverse with snowstorms on Destiny Island and cuddlewarms.

 **Six Impossible Things**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html), [(Un)complicated](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588585.html); [Day](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588810.html); [Alone](http://harukami.livejournal.com/591824.html); [Heat](http://harukami.livejournal.com/592669.html); [Kill in the Face part 2: Return of the Face-Killing](http://harukami.livejournal.com/593473.html); [A Completionverse Christmas](http://harukami.livejournal.com/595673.html)  
OT6. Naminé, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. This part's mostly Kairi/Riku/Sora/(Namine) and Roxas/Axel.

Once, when Sora sought out Wonderland afterwards, Alice asked about how the worlds had been saved in the end. She hardly seemed to be able to take credit for her own part in holding the darkness back, just folding her hands behind her back and clicking her heels together pertly as she said, "It seems impossible, really."

"I guess," Sora agreed, rubbing the back of his head. "Hard to believe, huh?"

"I once met a person," Alice had added, "who believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

***

  
**.1.**  


Snow on Destiny Islands is, of course, impossible. The plant life wouldn't survive it. Heck, the _people_ would hardly survive it after making shorts and skirts and tank tops a way of life.

Still, it is undeniably snowing.

Not for New Year's. They had their New Year's Eve hanging out stripped down and comfortable in the cool breeze. But here it is, two months after and suddenly they've got a freak snowstorm blow in from -- offworld, probably. The water's turbulent. The wind's bitter as ice. The snow that pelts down lies thick on frozen sand and Sora hunches over, tucks his arms into his armpits and shouts into the wind,

"Guys, look! It's like Christmas all over again!"

 

 

  
**.2.**  


Axel refuses to come out. He huddles in the back of Riku's mind like that one stubborn ember which still flickers but refuses to light up. Riku's poked at him and prodded at him and -- in one event he wouldn't talk about if asked anyway -- blew on him, and Axel's still not budging.

 _But it's cold out there_ , he protests to Riku's silent derision.

"No shit," Riku says.

Roxas looks up from his book. He's bundled up in ear muffs and a scarf; despite that the tip of his nose and his ears have gone red. He says, in a puff of visible breath, "Did you say something?"

"Hang on," Riku says. "If it's so damn cold, change that."

_Hold out your hands._

Riku does, in front of him, bringing them together with an almost audible noise as Axel takes hold of his arms to move them as he likes. In front of him, his hands are cupped.

_Take that!_

Riku's first thought is that his hands are on fire. His second is that they don't hurt; it's gently warming and crackles with darkness and heat. He pours the flame from palm to palm, experimentally.

Roxas has put his book away. Riku looks over, intending to say something cool, and Axel seizes his voice before he can.

"Hey, baby," Axel drawls through Riku's lips. "Run and get some marshmallows, okay?"

 

  
**.3.**  


Kairi almost jumps out of bed. Namine, startled, grabs on half inside her, clinging, feet almost dancing across the floor as she tries to find her balance and Kairi keeps moving.

"Come on, Namine!" Kairi says. "Look at that snow, let's go!"

"But," Namine protests. She doesn't really feel the cold like the others do, and she doesn't really find much to be troubled about the thought of just going out in her thin shift and bare feet. But Kairi will be frostbitten and Kairi will be hurt, and she clutches at Kairi's arm as Kairi throws the window open and starts to climb out.

"Namine?"

"Don't," Namine whispers.

Kairi grins at her. "Don't worry so much," she says, and pulls them both out the window. There's a short slide down the angled ledge and then she's in the air for the last eight feet.

She lands in a puff of displaced snow, Namine letting out a helpless tiny shriek as she clings to Kairi, buries her face against Kairi's chest.

"That's cold!" Kairi laughs, and Namine pushes herself up and stares down in confusion.

"Why would you--"

"Here," Kairi says, and rises. She wobbles for a moment, then throws herself down into a bare section of snow again. Her arms and legs trace a pajama-clad pattern into the snow as she scissors them.

Namine shivers and holds herself. "You'll catch cold," she protests.

"I'm okay," Kairi says, "I don't get sick often! I'll want a hot bath after this though. ...Your turn!"

"What?"

"Do like I do!"

The wind feels like it's cutting through her. Namine stares down at Kairi, rosy-cheeked and with snowflakes caught on her eyelashes, and then throws herself down as well.

When they rise, they leave angels behind.

"See?" Kairi says.

 

  
**.4.**  


It had been Sora's idea to make the snowman.

It had also been Sora's idea to point the keyblade at it.

None of them really had expected it to get up and lumber about chasing them around.

...The axe _really_ hadn't been part of the plan.

Holed up a tree, Riku and Axel looked at Sora.

"You are stupid," Axel told him.

"I am _not_ ," Sora protested. "Roxas, say something!"

"Actually," Roxas muttered. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

 

  
**.5.**  


Kairi phones them up and just leaves them a brief message: "Meet me at the island."

Getting there is hard; the water's choppy and there are chunks of ice floating in it. Not much, but some. She gets there anyway -- heaven knows she's taken a boat out there before when the islands were in worse shape. She heads down into the secret place and waits.

Riku shows up first. He enters with a sort of pained expression -- she was right, then, and he hasn't come here since that whole thing. He looks at the door before he looks at her. She wonders if, to his eyes, there's still a keyhole there. She thinks she can see it sometimes, out of the corner of her eyes.

And then Riku's eyes falls on the exchange of promises she and Sora had etched into the walls and he smiles, faintly. It isn't entirely a nice smile.

"Come here," she says.

He obeys; he always obeys, _because he's Riku_ , Namine provides gently, _and he's really in love with you._

 _And Sora_ , Kairi shoots back. _Maybe more than me._

 _Riku's love... I'm not sure it can be measured like that,_ Namine murmurs to her, soft. _There are people who have it, and people who don't. That's all._

Her tone is strange, distant and a little lonely. It's hard, Kairi thinks abruptly, to be a fourth wheel. Worse than a third, a third wheel is undeniably present and performing, somehow. A fourth wheel's duties have already been carried out by the other four points. It's just a little more support; it's just a little more balance.

"I don't know it's so simple," she says aloud.

"Huh?" Riku asks.

"Where's Axel?"

"I left him behind," Riku says. "...Sora'll probably leave Roxas, too. Axel was making _plans_."

"I see," Kairi says. She holds out a hand. "Anyway, we've been waiting for you."

Riku, to his credit, doesn't question the 'we'. He comes over, takes Kairi's hand, lets her draw him down into a kiss.

When Sora finally arrives -- alone, after some debate and discussion where he'd _wanted_ to bring Roxas along -- he finds Riku on his knees, one arm wound around Kairi's waist, his face buried between her legs. Namine has Kairi's fingers tight in Riku's hair and is making helpless hiccuping gasps. She'd wanted to pull away, far away, but instead Kairi had pulled her forward without giving up control. It feels like she's lying just under Kairi's skin, Kairi surrounding her, murmuring.

"Hey guys," Sora says. He drops his coat on the ground.

Riku doesn't lift his head. But he does unwind the arm from Kairi's waist and make a gesture that could be anything from _fuck off_ to _hey, missed you._

 

  
**.6.**  


"Just you and me now, huh?" Axel says. It's hard with Riku this far away; he feels like he's having to pull himself together to stay solid. Worth it, though; he runs his fingers over the window frame and smirks out on the snow, which is out there while he is in _here_.

Roxas is sitting cross-legged on Sora's bed. He looks up with an unreadable expression. "Yeah," he says.

"Thanks," Axel says after a moment. It makes the whole thing way more awkward. It also widens Roxas's eyes.

"...What for?"

Axel says, "You know. Staying here. With me. It isn't easy."

Roxas holds up a hand and looks at it, expression mildly concerned, as if he's surprised he has fingers. He says, "It's not that bad."

"Well, good. You know. I'd _hope_ not," Axel says.

Slowly, Roxas puts his hand back to the bed. He lifts it and drops it again. "...Come here."

Doesn't need to ask twice; Axel flops onto the bed and drops, so his head is in Roxas's lap. He grins up. "...Hey, baby."

"...Hey," Roxas says. He leans over, slowly, and kisses him. It's half sideways and half upside-down and should be awkward, tongues sliding and Axel swallowing a mouthful of Roxas's spit, but it's not. Axel's hands rise to his hair and tangles there. He likes that spit anyway, he decides.

Roxas gets Axel naked first, stripping him with a relentless determination. And then, still dressed himself, he goes down on Axel. Axel curses, grabs two handfuls of Roxas's hair and just holds on. This isn't something Roxas does often -- isn't something Roxas has done for anyone but him, he thinks maybe unless he and Sora get up to some crazy shit in this bed sometimes -- so it's not great. Technically. Technically it's sloppy and misses the best spots and has way too much teeth.

Axel can't get enough though, and he works at Roxas's hair with his fingers, tugs and curses and mutters Roxas's name like a mantra. Like it could get him fucking _enlightened_ if he said it enough, said it to the point he _understood_ it. Instead he comes, spilling out hot and throbbing into Roxas's mouth and Roxas makes a thick gagging noise in his throat, comes up, swallows, coughs. His lips are slick, almost glazed. Axel feels exhausted but he drags Roxas up by the hair and kisses him desperately anyway.

"Baby, baby," Axel says. "Let me make it good for you. Anything. Anything for you, okay?"

Jerkily, uncoordinated, Roxas nods.

 _This_ they do a lot. It never gets old. Once Roxas catches his breath he drives Axel back, presses him down like he's got the physical power to back his demands up, drags his hands over Axel, presses a finger in. Axel tilts his head back, grins and shows teeth, arches his hips. A little rough but not bad; he knows Roxas, he likes Roxas in him, he could take Roxas any way, he thinks. Drag him right up through his body to his heart.

Roxas grabs the lube, fumbles it on, fucks him. Axel holds on with hands and elbows, knees and thighs, and mutters at him the whole way through. Doesn't matter what he says. It's got a lot of _Baby_ in it, and _Yeah, yeah_ and _I need you_ and _Roxas_ and it's kind of mix and match from there. He doesn't really listen to himself. He's pretty sure Roxas doesn't really listen to him either, but all he's got are words to match the jerking movement of his body, and all he's got are words to try to explain the confusing _awesome_ pouring out of him, dragged out by the movements of Roxas's body and the driving pressure of his hips -- Axel puts his hands over Roxas's ass just to feel it _flex_ \-- and dragged out by the lost and found expressions on Roxas's face.

He doesn't get close enough to come again by the time Roxas finishes, by the time Roxas stutters out a shocked rasp of Axel's own name, but he doesn't need to. He sinks back, grinning, stroking his fingernails up and down Roxas's back. Roxas's skin almost twitches under his touch. Roxas's sweat cools slowly. He draws a shuddering breath, then pulls out abruptly.

Axel hisses. "Hey," he protests.

Roxas stumbles upright, stumbles to the window. He presses a hand against it; it steams up around his fingers, would probably leave a handprint. He stares out and breathes. It gusts up there too, blocks his view; he wipes it away with a forearm.

"This is real," Roxas says.

Axel pushes himself up to his elbows.

"Sure," Axel says easily, and smiles at Roxas, honestly, genuinely, until Roxas looks over and smiles back. "What else would it be?"


	11. [fic] KH2 (Completionverse), "...But Home is Here"

  


So how about some [Completionverse?](http://harukami.livejournal.com/tag/completionverse)

**...But Home is Here**  
Kingdom Hearts 2  
Part of the Completionverse. [Completion](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586045.html); [The Story of the Time Riku Killed Axel in the Face](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586431.html); [Beating Hearts](http://harukami.livejournal.com/586765.html), [(Un)complicated](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588585.html); [Day](http://harukami.livejournal.com/588810.html); [Alone](http://harukami.livejournal.com/591824.html); [Heat](http://harukami.livejournal.com/592669.html); [Kill in the Face part 2: Return of the Face-Killing](http://harukami.livejournal.com/593473.html); [A Completionverse Christmas](http://harukami.livejournal.com/595673.html); [Six Impossible Things](http://harukami.livejournal.com/608840.html)  
OT6. Naminé, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel in various combinations. This part's mostly Axel/Kairi.

The voice on the phone is Riku's, and over the phone she's still not always sure enough to tell them apart, when it's Riku talking and when Axel's borrowing Riku's time again. So, she dresses like she would for a date with Riku: A dress and high boots, a black cardigan over it with the hood down and just a touch of makeup.

She's never imagined a date with Axel, but if she did, she'd dress differently -- shorts, maybe, or her jeans with the holes in the knees, a pink tank-top, something she could wear anywhere. Riku would take her somewhere nice if he had any say in it, because Riku always in the end wants to be kind to her, not just nice. Axel wants to be nice to her, that much is clear, but if she thought Axel was asking her out she wouldn't know whether to expect clambering over rocks in the middle of the night or having to run away from the authorities through the middle of the city or something randomly and surprisingly sweet.

So she comes downstairs in a pink dress that comes down to her knees and laces up her front, and her pair of comfortable boots with the pompoms, and already is pulling on her cardigan when she opens the door on Axel instead.

Axel looks like what he probably imagines normal teens look like -- jeans so torn that it's a miracle they're staying up, a belt with a skull for a buckle, a black shirt referring to some band Kairi, at least, has never heard of, the sleeves ragged. He grins at her and she's not ashamed, but still would rather not have to answer the questions her foster family would have if they saw him, so she calls out a quick "I'm going now!" and heads out, taking his hand.

"Hey, Princess," he says, and his voice has that nervous giddiness he sometimes gets around her, a sound that reminds her incongruously of the time when they were all kids and Tidus was dared to sneak the exam results out of the faculty office; he'd never got them, but he'd managed to sneak in and ran away just as teachers came. The same kind of near-miss almost-victory. "So, where did you want to go tonight?"

"I thought," she said. "I was going to have a date with Riku." She keeps her voice light, teasing.

"Nah," Axel says. "That was me." He doesn't apologize, doesn't ask if she'd rather had one with him. "I made the call, and I left him behind. So where do you wanna go?"

Her brows raise. "You're by yourself?" Usually Axel is using Riku's body; she's always got the impression that remaining separate is exhausting for him, and maintaining a level of physical _reality_ like this is even harder.

"Like I'd want that guy waking up at the wrong time," Axel says. He grins at her again, the street lights flashing white on his teeth and sparking a bright glass-sharp light into his eyes as he bows over her hand. "Once more, my lady, where--"

"I don't know," she says, honestly, because she hadn't thought about it. "A movie?"

_I wonder what he's planning_ , Namine interjects, dubious if fond; Kairi pushes her, gently -- it's just Axel, after all.

"A movie," Axel says. "Cool."

***

Axel is, it turns out, either the worst person to see movies with, or the _best_ person to see movies with, depending on your attitude going into it. Kairi realizes this: if she actually had wanted to see the movie, she would have been annoyed within the first ten minutes and spent the rest of the time wishing she'd picked dinner instead, so she could see the movie with someone sane and reasonable, like maybe Riku. However, since everything playing was something she'd either seen already or had no interest in, and she'd long ago learned to turn off the part of her that was conscious of other people's mutters -- it'd be hard to plan to quit school and run off on a raft with two boys otherwise -- Axel was pretty damn awesome.

"Whoa, look at that. Hey, hey, Princess, let me have the popcorn again, that line _needs_ some popcorn--"

And she's laughing, holding the bag away and hopefully not blocking the view of that poor man three rows back as she half-climbs out of her chair to keep him away. "No, no, I want to eat that popcorn, you have to stop throwing it--"

"We can get a refill!"

"At movie theater prices?"

"Hey, it's Riku's money," Axel protests with another grin, sharp and aimed right at her, and she can't stop laughing as he reaches up and grabs her wrist, hauling her back into the chair and against his side.

***

"Huh," Axel says, and gives a dirty look at the door. "They didn't have to kick us out."

"It's okay, it's okay," Kairi says. "I'm just glad you didn't fight them after all."

"Well, I was gonna," Axel said, "but I know you, you'd come in to help and you dressed up so pretty, wouldn't wanna see you get all scuffed up."

She gets an elbow into his side. "Gee, thanks," she says. "I'll remember that for next time."

"Hey, if you're gonna use your tidy good looks against me, all bets are off," Axel says. "It's too early to go back now. -- Let's go to the island."

"The island?" She turns her eyes to the night sky; it's a cooler night than some, but the winds are quiet and there's no risk in it she can see. "Right now?"

"Right now," he says. It's far from Riku and his home, far from Sora and Roxas, and he must be tired, but his hand is warm as he picks up Kairi's in his and ducks his head, giving her a pleading look that aims for cute and comes across as coyly dangerous, bright between his heavy dark lashes.

Well, there's no need to go home just yet. She'll row, and keep from tiring him out more. "All right," she says.

***

When they get there, Axel launches himself from the boat onto the dock and lands in a crouch, head up like he's an animal scenting the air. Kairi follows at a more sedate pace, scraping her knee slightly as she clambers up, brushing it off with a faint face at the sting.

Axel turns and looks at her, head still tilted slightly and eyes bright. He reaches up and raises her hood, and grins at her. "You look good," he says, and then grabs her hand and starts to run.

"Hey, hey!" she protests. "This isn't a race, is it? Slow down!" She laughs anyway, and Axel laughs back, but his pace only slows a little as he grabs onto the roof of the shack and pulls himself up, reaches down and hauls her up as well. So much for wanting to keep her out of fights to keep her tidy, she thinks, and gets a foot up, rolls to her feet.

"Over there," Axel says, and heads out to the paopu tree.

She watches him go. _What's got into him?_ she thinks, and feels Namine's faint reassurance, a hint of ruefulness; they've talked out here before, Kairi knows suddenly. This is a place important to both of them as it is to her and to Riku and Sora, and in different ways. This is where Axel was called back, as well.

"What are you waiting for?" Axel asks, but he's looking worn down now that he's already out here, face shadowed, one hand on the tree trunk supporting him a little more than it should.

She jogs over. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Ah, I'm fine. I'm fine, Princess."

"Just, I know going away from Riku is hard for you," she said. "Haven't you been out too much?"

"Nah," Axel says. He looks out over the ocean. "This is what living's for, right?"

"I guess so," she says. She's already mussed up, so she pulls herself up and sits on the tree branch. Axel looks up at her, then hauls himself up as well. "Still, it's okay to pace yourself too."

Axel laughs. "Maybe," he says. "But my heart has a home, and it's not like I can outrun that too much. I couldn't leave the world without Riku, and Riku couldn't leave me behind, but someplace like this is close to his heart. So it's okay."

"Is it?"

"I guess. Weird, isn't it?" he asks, and it's in a private voice. "Like a ghost. Bound to one thing, a part of that thing, stuck to rules involving that thing."

Kairi hesitates. The thing about things like this is the inability to have ever asked permission. She puts a hand over Axel's, feels it warm under hers still, the tendons standing out prominently; he's so skinny. She says, "Do you wish you could? Separate, I mean."

Axel seems to consider it, face turned up towards the night sky, the faint breeze toying with the looser bits of his hair. "Y'know, Princess? Sometimes it's like every part of my life's been about escape."

"Has it?"

"My life as me, anyway," he says dismissively, and she wonders at the parts of himself she still doesn't know about, who he was before he was Axel. "There was the Organization, sure, but... eh, that didn't matter until Roxas was there. And then there was the Castle, and my escape from that by pinning down the traitors. Did that by letting Namine escape," he adds, and Kairi feels a mingled warmth and sadness. "Go back after, and then Roxas was trying to escape the Organization. Then, DiZ's version of him trying to escape me, and then my own attempts to escape the Organization. You trying to escape me, me trying to help you escape Saix -- it's a pretty run-around way to live, huh?"

"I think," she says, and looks out across the horizon, as she'd done so many times that year and as she remembers Riku doing so long before that, "that you and Riku were always alike like that."

"Maybe that's how we can still stand each other," Axel says, and laughs. "But still, still. Ahh -- you know what I mean?"

She says, "I don't know, not really. I've never wanted to leave any place or anything in any way that would mean I couldn't come back ever. Do you think that's childish?"

He reaches over, puts a hand on her head. "Nah," he says. "I think you know what it means to have a home, s'all."

"You don't?"

Axel glances at her, then grins. "Maybe I do," he says. "Anyway, things are really moving now, aren't they? So I'd like to see where they go."

She wouldn't say they have been, exactly -- it's just Destiny Islands' normal daily life, with school and the seasons turning. But she smiles and says, "I guess they are. I'd like to see it too!"

He laughs. "You're always seeing it, Kairi."

"Mm, yeah," she says. "But you are too, aren't you?"

"I guess I am," he says, and stares out again, smiling.

"Are you looking to the horizon, Axel?" she asks, because out there is everything else that isn't here.

"The horizon? Nah," he says, and he points up instead, to the sky. "Just thinking how nice the stars look."

She looks up; the sky is black but the island is well-lit by the generous blanket of stars, bright and spread out around the moon. She lifts her hand, spreads her fingers and looks at the stars between the space she can grasp. "It's hard to believe they're all other worlds."

"From down here," Axel says, and drops his head to rest against hers so he can gaze up through her fingers as well, "they're almost a part of this one. Anyway, that's how it looks. Wouldn't be this place without its sky, right?"

Kairi leans against him. "That's right," she says.

***

"I'm sorry to keep you out so late," he says as he escorts her to her window so she can pretend to have been back for hours.

"I'm not," she says, with a grin; he grins back. He looks tired but good.

He touches two fingers to his lips, touches those fingers to her mouth. "Then I won't be either, yeah?"

"Is that a kiss?" she asks; it's a little cute, almost shy of him, after so long of his being in Riku and knowing and feeling all the things they've done together.

"Indirect, yeah?" he asks, and grins. "To keep with tradition."

Riku'd have something to say about that, she thinks, and laughs, soft and fond. "It's okay not to keep with tradition sometimes," she says. "We're all in this together."

"Practically the defining feature of this weird crazy thing our group's got going on," he agrees. "Maybe next time, though," and his smile is relieved and wry and content all at once. "I've got to be getting home."

"Okay," she says, and rests her arms on the sill, watching him standing still precariously in the tree outside. "I have to see Sora tomorrow to help him with some homework, but if Riku wouldn't mind helping out--"

"I'll ask," Axel says. "If not, say hi to Roxas for me."

"I will. Good night, Axel."

"Night, Princess."

He's halfway down when she goes back into her room, but a few seconds later, there's a knock at her window. She puts her brush down, goes over, opens it. "...Forget something?"

"Hell with this," he says, and kisses her lightly, pulling away almost before she knows what's happened. "Not like I haven't done more with you than even you know, yeah?"

Kairi touches two fingers to her lips, still tingling, then laughs. It's nice to have some of it out, at least, some of the confusion of the overlap in the open instead of tucked away all the time. "Go home, Axel," he says, and he shoots her a bright grin.

"Can do," he says, and goes.


End file.
